


Let It Be Me

by xXdreameaterXx



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Wedding Planner, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-11 14:26:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 65,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11716248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXdreameaterXx/pseuds/xXdreameaterXx
Summary: Clara is the best wedding planner there is even though she herself is completely disillusioned with love and romance. When Missy hires her to plan her brother’s wedding, Clara thinks that in John she has finally met someone with a heart as cold as her own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> John's future wife: I thought about John's bride to be for a very long time and and debated it with my friend and fellow writer universe-on-her-shoulders, but I think I was able to find a good solution. I didn't want to use a former companion because I'm going to use them elsewhere in the story. Missy was also out of the question because I've decided to make her John's sister once again. I don't like directly involving River in my fics because I know that many of my readers ship both whouffaldi and twelveriver, so I don't want to to upset them. In the end I decided to go with Elizabeth I - or a modern day version of her - because she married the Doctor on screen in DotD, so it's canon, but people aren't necessarily invested in the ship.

“I wanna go out tonight,” Clara said into the phone as soon as her friend Amy had picked up. It was only 10 in the morning and she was already fed up with this Friday. One of her clients had turned down every single photographer she had chosen and Clara had already spent two hours on the phone, trying desperately to find another one.

“You sound annoyed,” Amy noticed instantly.

“Well, I am annoyed. This one couple has declined every photographer I suggested and now I can't find another one for their wedding in six weeks. If they keep this up, they'll have to get their wedding photos taken by aunt Judy,” she groaned. “Please, let's just go out tonight. This week has been hell.”

“Alright,” her friend agreed. “I'll pick you up at 7.”

“Thank you!” Clara sighed in relief. “Really, I can't wait for this day to finally be over.”

“Not long, sweetheart. Just hang in there,” Amy reassured her before she hung up.

 

Clara put the phone away, but as she realized she would soon need it again to find a photographer she groaned in frustration. It was almost impossible to find a good one six weeks before the date of the wedding and she had repeatedly told her clients exactly that, but right now Clara decided not to care. It wasn't her fault that her clients wouldn't listen to her, it wasn't her fault if they had to resort to a mediocre photographer. She would give it one more try today, but after that, her clients could either take Sarah Jane, a wonderful woman and talented photographer, or ask some distant relative with a DSLR to take their photos.

It had occurred to Clara on some occasions that maybe she had chosen the wrong profession, that maybe planning the weddings of other people wasn't what would make her happy in the long run, but the truth was that she was just pretty damn good at it. She was well organized and she knew almost everyone from caterers to photographers and her negotiation skills usually got her a really good deal. Clara was fine as long as she didn't admit how utterly silly she thought the wedding industry to be. Everything was overpriced, the romance felt forced and in her opinion brides and grooms just entered this endeavour with expectations so high that there was no way for it not to end in disappointment. The divorce rates certainly confirmed her theory. Clara used to be different, but that was a long time ago, long before everything had gone so horribly wrong. Now it was just a job to her, a job like any other, a job she was good at. She was organizing all those dream weddings for all those couples that were sickeningly in love while she herself had buried that dream along with her fiancé. 

 

The little bell above her office door rang and Clara looked up from her desk to see that a woman had stepped inside, looking around the room suspiciously. Clara took a moment to examine her, late 40s, possibly 50, a messy bunch of curls on her head that absolutely didn't go with the immaculate pencil skirt and blazer. She didn't exactly look much like a bride to be and she made no attempt to approach Clara.

“Can I help you?” Clara asked her after a moment. “If you're looking for the photo studio, Sarah Jane Smith is right next door.”

“Oh, no, my dear,” the woman said with a thick Scottish accent as she spun around and stared right at Clara. For a moment she felt as if those icy blue eyes looked straight into her soul. “I'm exactly where I wanna be, thanks.”

For a brief moment Clara felt a little taken aback by the strange woman's response, but she quickly found her composure again. “Well, if you're here to get a wedding planned, it might be helpful to talk to me instead of staring at the pictures on the wall.”

“In a minute,” the woman replied with affected indignation as she nodded towards the photographs. “I'm just gonna have a little look first.”

“Fine,” Clara hissed. “Suit yourself.”

She rolled her eyes when she thought the woman was no longer looking at her and she decided to get some actual work done in the meantime. A client like her was exactly what she didn't need today when everything else was already enough of a mess. However, as Clara stared at the list of potential photographers and compared it to the list of those her clients had already turned down, she suddenly found the presence of the woman to be utterly distracting and even a little unnerving.

“I'm sorry,” Clara said and she made sure that her annoyance was audible in her tone, “but I'm a wedding planner and not a curator. If you want to look at pictures, I suggest you go to a museum.”

The woman in front of her shrugged and now finally moved forward until she had reached the other side of the desk. She let herself fall down on the chair with a sigh. “I'm here because of a wedding. I just wanted to make sure you weren't a moron first. My brother's wedding is a very special day and I don't want a moron in charge of it.”

“Please tell me your brother is as charming as you are,” Clara scoffed. “The bride will be a very lucky woman.”

“My brother's first wedding was a disaster,” the Scottish woman complained. “Mainly because I wasn't there, but also for a number of other reasons. I doubt it was even legal.”

“Uhm,” Clara hesitated for a moment. The woman in front of her was clearly mad and she had half a mind to send her away immediately. “You might wanna check before you're starting to plan his second wedding.”

“Oh no, it's fine.” She made a dismissive hand gesture. “His first wife's dead,” she explained matter-of-factly.

“Okay, uhm, listen Mrs-”

“Saxon,” the woman beamed at her and suddenly extended her hand across the table, “Missy Saxon. Please, call me Missy.”

Reluctantly Clara shook her hand. “Mrs Saxon-”

“Missy,” the woman insisted sharply.

“Missy,” Clara paused and inhaled deeply. This wasn't the time to deal with crazy clients. Not today. Definitely not today. “Maybe you should come back with your brother and his fiancée so we can all talk about what kind of wedding they'd like.”

“Well, his fiancée would like a pompous, Tudor-style Renaissance wedding and my brother wants a quick trip to the registry office to get it over with,” Missy explained sweetly. “And I'm going to throw a large amount of money at you if you can find a middle ground between wearing a hoop petticoat and my brother showing up to his wedding in his pyjama bottoms and a hoodie.”

Clara opened her mouth and was about to turn the strange woman and her crazy family down, but then she started to reconsider. Even if they didn't go for a proper Renaissance wedding, it did sound like an expensive event to plan and Clara was in dire need of a holiday, a holiday she would have to pay for somehow.

Eventually she forced herself to smile at Missy. She had had weirder requests, she could do this. “Alright, why don't you send your brother and his wife to be to my office on Monday afternoon?”

“Out of the question,” Missy Saxon shook her head in a fierce manner. “I'm paying for this wedding, so I'm going to be there every step of the way.”

“Okay,” Clara kept the smile on her face. She just needed to remind herself that lovely holiday she was going to take afterwards. “Why don't you three come back to my office on Monday afternoon and we can talk it over?”

Finally Missy Saxon smiled back at her. “That sounds perfect.”

 

Clara exhaled sharply once the crazy woman had finally left her office and she sank back in her chair. A week in Spain, that was what she would treat herself to after that job was over.

While she was still in the right mood to do it Clara reached for her phone again and informed her clients that she had been unable to find another photographer on such short notice and that they could either take Sarah Jane Smith or leave it to an amateur. When the couple finally agreed after discussing in on hold for ten minutes, Clara switched off her computer, killed the lights and locked up her office. Any other couple would have to wait until Monday and she was not going to let any more lovesick puppies ruin her Friday.

* * *

Missy smirked to herself once she had exited the building and immediately drew out her phone to send her brother a message and inform him of the good news. If she knew him half as well as she thought, this wedding would never take place.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the first comments XD Glad I've got your attention once more.

Clara took a long sip from her cocktail and leaned back against the chair with a sigh, determined that nothing would come between her and her perfect weekend far away from catering services and bridal gowns and all the other crap she had to put up with during the week. No, tonight she was going to enjoy herself with her best friend and tomorrow she would cure her hangover before spending the Sunday with a good book and a hot bath. That sounded like an ideal plan for the weekend.

“Did you manage to get a photographer?” Amy asked her, tearing her back into the dreadful world of pink flowers and white tulle.

Clara inhaled deeply. “No, I convinced them to hire Sarah Jane after not even looking for another photographer at all,” she replied matter-of-factly as she continued to sip her drink. Then Clara looked up at her friend, frowning. “When am I going to plan _your_ wedding?”

Amy rolled her eyes and groaned.

“He still hasn't asked you?!” she blurted out in disbelief. “You found the ring when? Three months ago?”

“He doesn't know I found it. I put it back,” her friend reasoned. “Maybe he's got something really special planned, so I don't wanna ruin that by asking _oh, by the way, I found the ring and I was wondering when you'll finally pop the question_.”

“It's Rory,” Clara replied dryly. “He's not planning, he's being a coward.”

“Probably,” Amy sighed before her entire posture suddenly changed and Clara found her friend grinning at her. “But what about you? Anyone you've got your eyes on?”

She snorted. “Where would I meet a guy? I'm a wedding planner. The men I meet are about to get married.”

“Mh, not quite. You attend weddings. I bet there are loads of single men at weddings.”

Once again Clara reached for her drink, but no matter how often her friend asked, it wouldn't change the fact that she was hopelessly single and would probably be for a while. “They're all single for a reason, trust me,” she replied after a sip. “Besides, I don't think I'm quite ready for something serious. A fling, however. . .”

 

Clara broke off and let her gaze wander across the room. They were at a fancy bar and someone was sure to catch her eye. A man who looked like a banker sat at the bar, bending over his Scotch – nope. He looked like he had only come here to drown his sorrows. The woman with the red dress having a laugh with her friends – nope. She was definitely too posh for her taste. Then Clara spotted him, a guy she wouldn't mind getting acquainted with.

“Silver fox, twelve o'clock,” Clara told Amy with a smirk and her friend turned her head carefully while Clara was still examining the man.

He really was the picture book description of a silver fox with messy, soft looking curls, the early stages of a beard covered the chin of his handsome face and when her gaze dropped to his hands, Clara couldn't help but wonder if they were as talented as they looked. The rest of him, unfortunately, was covered by the table, but Clara suspected a tall, lean body. Yep. She wouldn't mind getting to know him a little better.

“Nice,” Amy remarked after a moment. “Except that he's here on a date. Or have you missed the redhead?”

“That is so clearly not a date,” Clara argued as she sipped her cocktail, keeping her eyes fixed on the man across the room. “And if it was, it wouldn't be going well.”

“How would you know that?” her friend asked, clearly amused.

After a sigh Clara emptied her drink and gestured towards the waiter. “Trust me, I've seen enough couples to be able to tell that that isn't one.”

Clara once again glanced towards the silver fox and smiled to herself. Maybe, if the opportunity presented itself, she would get a chance to say hello.

* * *

John was vaguely aware that Donna was talking, in fact, there was hardly a time when Donna wasn't talking, but in his thoughts John was far away, going over the strange message his sister had sent him this morning. Missy didn't like his fiancée, so why would she try to help plan his wedding to Liz?

“Heeelloooo,” Donna said in a singsang voice and waved her hand in front of his face, finally tearing him out of his thoughts. “Anybody home?”

“Uhm, yes,” he stammered and forced himself to focus. He hadn't seen Donna in a while. He should pay her some attention. If only he knew what Missy was up to.

“So, when's the wedding?” his friend wanted to know. “And most importantly, am I invited?”

“Of course you're invited. Why wouldn't you be invited?”

“I wasn't invited to your first wedding,” Donna replied with a shrug, but from her tone of voice John could tell that she was still bitter about that. Just as Missy was. Maybe that was the reason she was so eager to plan this wedding? To make sure he didn't elope again and leave her out of it?

“Well, you're invited to this one,” he replied. “We don't have a date yet. In fact, we don't know anything. Missy organized an appointment with a wedding planner on Monday.”

Suddenly his friend leaned forward and John found her looking at him so intently as if she was trying to read his thoughts. Carefully he leaned back a little, but she wouldn't stop.

“Donna, could you please. . . not do that?”

“Do what?”

“Look at me as if you're about to eat me,” he complained.

Finally her featured softened a little and Donna backed off, but her gaze never left him. “I just want to know why you're suddenly going to marry her at all. I've never heard you mention it before.”

“Ah, you know Liz,” John replied with a sigh. He didn't really feel like going over it with Donna or anyone else and, if he was completely honest, he didn't want a wedding planner butting in at all. All John wanted was to do it quietly without a fuss. Why was Missy so keen to help and why had she approached the planner?

“I also know you and you're really not the type for a big, pompous, fairytale wedding,” Donna argued. “You hated mine.”

“I didn't hate it.”

“You watched from a distance!”

“Look,” John said before he exhaled sharply and leaned forward once more, “you're right, I don't want a big wedding. Liz and I have been together for a while and I don't get why she or Missy are trying to make such a big deal out of it, but if it makes her happy, I'll just grit my teeth and do it.”

To his surprise his friend started to chuckle. “You'll do it and you'll hate every second of it,” she replied. “Just tell her you'd prefer a quiet event and cancel the wedding planner thing. It's better than spending all that money just so you can stand around all day, looking grumpy.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Maybe that would be better.”

 

After that John excused himself to go to the loo, but still he found it impossible to take his mind off the whole wedding discussion. Donna was right, his best friend was absolutely right. He just wasn't the type for a big fairytale wedding and maybe he should tell Liz just exactly that. But his fiancée would be disappointed, so maybe it would be better to just go with whatever she wanted to do to make her happy. John really couldn't say.  
He didn't pay much attention when he walked back out on the corridor and that was his mistake because he immediately bumped into the person trying to enter the toilets.

“Oh, sorry,” the woman giggled.

“No, uhm, I'm sorry,” John spluttered in response. “I didn't look where I was going.”

When John looked down at the small, still giggling woman, he recognized her face. She occupied a table across the room with her friend and their eyes had met a couple of times during the evening. Young, brown hair, funny nose, dimples – and also clearly tipsy.

“It's fine,” the woman replied cheekily, grinning at him. “You can run into me again if you like.”

John frowned at her in response, not really knowing what to say to her. He should probably just leave. “Better not, I don't wanna cause you injuries,” he said eventually. Okay, that sounded stupid. He really wasn't that good with people, especially not strangers.

The woman, however, didn't seem to mind at all because she remained smiling at him. “Why? Some scratches and bruises can be nice, especially the process of getting them.”

The lines on his face only deepened as he looked at her. John really didn't have a clue was the woman was on about. If it hadn't been for their age difference, John might have thought she was flirting.

“Trust me, I'm a doctor. I've seen enough injuries in my practice today,” he told her with a smile, hoping it would finally get the intoxicated woman off his back, but apparently it had been the wrong thing to say because she was still grinning at him.

“I'm Clara, by the way,” she told him as she leaned against the nearest wall.

Okay, she was flirting. Definitely flirting. John didn't know much about that, but by now he truly recognized it for what it was.

“Uhm, I,” he stammered. John was bad at this, really bad and all of a sudden his palms felt a little sweaty as his nervousness grew. He had no idea what to say to her and his brain didn't seem to want to work with him on a good solution. “I gotta go.”

 

Without paying further attention to the woman named Clara John darted along the corridor and back to where Donna was already waiting for him. Flirting really wasn't his area of expertise. _Women_ weren't his area of expertise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your sweet comments :D Glad you're enjoying it already even though it hasn't even really started.

“Thank you, gran,” Clara said gratefully while she was handed a cup of tea and her grandmother sat down on the sofa right next to her. It had been a good idea to use her lunch break to visit her grandmother, not just because she could conveniently steal one of the omelettes her grandma had prepared, but Clara just felt as if she hadn't seen her in way too long. She lived all across town, but still Clara was certain that she could make it back in time to the appointment with that strange Missy Saxon and her family.

“Anything for my favourite grandchild,” her gran replied with a smile.

Clara shot her a playfully dark glance. “You know it doesn't really count when I'm your _only_ grandchild?”

“Of course it counts,” she argued. “Now, tell me what's new.”

After blowing the air out between her lips, Clara considered where to begin. There wasn't actually much she could tell her grandmother that she didn't already know. “Ah, you know, same old, same old. Doing my job, planning weddings, went out with Amy for drinks last Friday. And before you ask, Rory still hasn't proposed.”

Her gran chuckled in reply. “That Rory is a sweet man. He'll find the courage eventually. And you can tell Amy that I'm going to make my famous cherry cake next weekend and you two are welcome to stop by for tea.”

“Oh, thanks, gran,” Clara replied with a smile. “I'm sure Amy will be ecstatic to hear that. She loves your cherry cake and so do I.”

They sipped their tea in silence for a while and Clara checked her watch again, but realized that she still had a moment before she would have to get back. She really wasn't keen on that meeting at all, especially not if Missy Saxon's brother was just as insane as her. The way she had told her about his brother's late wife along with that dismissive gesture still rubbed Clara the wrong way.

“What about you?” her grandmother enquired curiously after a moment. “Anyone on the horizon? A nice boy? Nice girl?”

With a sigh Clara set her tea cup down. “I've already told Amy that it's quite tough to meet single men when you're in the wedding industry. Besides, I still don't really feel like I want a new relationship.”

“It's been over a year since Danny,” she reasoned.

“I know that and right now I'm still in that phase where I want to go to the park and poison happy couples,” Clara groaned, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, it's nauseating, especially at work. I feel like I'm gonna vomit every time every time I hear one of those silly ohhh, I'm gonna love you forever vows. Half of them are going to get a divorce and they know it.”

“Oh Clara,” her gran chuckled. “You are far too young and far too pretty to be so cynical.”

“My fiancé died,” she shot back at her. “The love of my life died. I think that gives me the right to be cynical.”

Her grandmother sighed and looked at her for a while, smiling knowingly. She should understand, she had lost grandpa years ago and even though she never said it outright, Clara knew how much her gran still missed him. Of course she and Danny hadn't been married for over 50 years, but they had loved each other and he had been taken from her. Clara would have loved to become his wife in a traditional, romantic ceremony, she had already sort of picked out a dress and a venue, but it had never come to that. If that wasn't a reason to develop a grudge against happy couples, Clara didn't know what was.

“I'm sure that one day you'll find someone,” her grandmother said reassuringly. “It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow, but at some point you will meet that person and you're going to have everything you've dreamed of.”

“Well, it's certainly not going to be today because I have a meeting with a couple,” Clara said and rose from her seat. “And I hope I can refrain from murdering them if they start snogging in front of me.”

She shuddered at the mere thought of it and more than just once Clara had considered putting up a _no kissing_ sign in her office, but that would probably drive some of her customers away. No, she would smile and pretend to be happy about every single one of them like she had always done while secretly loathing them for their relationship and the sheer dumb luck of loving someone who was still alive.

* * *

John poked around in his food without real appetite while Missy seemed to devour her fish 'n chips as if she hadn't eaten for days. There was nothing that could ruin her appetite, nothing at all and sometimes he wished he was as carefree as his sister, but the whole wedding problem still wouldn't leave his mind, especially not after his conversation with Donna. Reluctantly he took a bite off a chip.

“Missy,” John began carefully.

“Yes, dear?”

When he looked up his sister was smiling at him. She looked downright innocent and if John knew something for certain, it was that Missy was the exact opposite of that. What was she planning? “Why did you make that appointment with the wedding planner?” he wanted to know.

“To help you plan your wedding, of course,” Missy replied as if it should have been obvious. “And to make sure I'm invited this time. Gonna be hard to keep me off the guest list when I'm paying for everything.”

John kept observing her as she stuffed another chip into her mouth, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't read her true intentions from her face and he doubted it was as simple as that. He had known Missy all his life and she wasn't the type to do something like that for purely altruistic reasons.

“You don't like Liz,” he argued.

With a heavy sigh Missy placed her fork on the restaurant table and looked straight at him. “You are my only brother. It's true, Liz wouldn't have been my first choice, but River wasn't exactly my best pal either,” she admitted, staring him right into the eyes. “I want you to be happy. That's why I'm doing it. And you know I'm telling the truth.”

As John looked at her he couldn't help but think that she seemed really sincere. Maybe he was worried about nothing, maybe he was imagining things, maybe this time his sister really only wanted the best for him. He would really like to believe that.

However, John never had the opportunity to say anything when Missy's phone rang and she reached for the device to answer it.

“Yes?” she said into the phone and rolled her eyes when whoever was on the other end took a very look time to tell her what the matter was. Then her expression suddenly changed from irritated to properly annoyed. “What problem could there possibly be? Our clients are dead. Unless they're not properly dead I can't see how the stiffs could be causing you trouble that you can't handle on your own.”

John looked around the restaurant nervously, hoping that nobody was listening in on his sister's phone call. The way she spoke of the recently deceased even worried him sometimes.

“Well, I doubt he has grown since Mrs Simmons gave you the measurements of her dead husband, so either she messed up or the coffin you ordered was too small,” Missy said sharply and John shifted in his seat, hoping that she would soon end her call. People who didn't know she was leading a funeral home might get the wrong impression if they listened to her. “I'm on my way. And just so you know, you're useless and probably fired.”

 

Missy hung up and threw the phone back down on the table, exhaling sharply before she looked back at John. “I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to stop by 3W before the appointment with the wedding planner because Seb has cocked up massively. He ordered the wrong size of coffin for a funeral that is supposed to take place tomorrow morning.”

“It's alright,” John reassured her immediately. “Liz and I can manage on your own.”

“You are not leaving me out of your wedding this time, brother,” she reminded him sharply as she rose from her chair. “I'll meet you there as soon as I've stuffed Mr Simmons into his coffin. Do you think his wife would mind if we cut off his head?”

John scoffed, knowing that even though Missy could be ruthless, this time she was probably joking. Hopefully. “I'm pretty sure she would mind, yes.”

“Alright, see you in a bit,” his sister said and started to walk away. “And thanks for lunch!”

 

With a sigh John reached for his wallet to pay for the lunch his sister had invited him to while his thoughts went back to the appointment ahead. He and Liz didn't need a wedding planner and despite Missy's good intentions John was going to make sure that this first appointment with the planner would also be their last.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments :) Now, let's not wait any longer and put them back together XD

It was beginning to rain when Clara entered the bus that would take her from her grandmother's house to her office, but she soon realized that the rain wouldn't stop so soon as the drops were pelting down on the roof of the vehicle. She glanced into her bag and her last bit of hope for this day to get better vanished when Clara realized she had forgotten to bring an umbrella. No time to stop at her flat, no change of clothes currently lying in her office. It was as if Clara was cursed with bad luck and it was about to get much, much worse.

Clara's mouth fell open when the bus stopped at the next station and she instantly sank a little lower into her seat as she recognized the man that stepped inside. It was likely that he didn't even remember her, but Clara wasn't willing to take that chance. It was the same man she had spotted in that bar on Friday and after a few cocktails she had run into him on her way to the toilet and of course she had made a complete fool of herself. _The process of getting scratches and bruises can be nice._ Clara wanted to slap herself now for actually saying that out loud. How was it even possible to run into him again in a city of over eight million people? Clara really had the worst luck. The only small comfort in this situation was that she hadn't made a pass at an oaf in her tipsy state. Quite the contrary. The man looked even slightly more handsome in daylight. Maybe she could say hi?  


No, Clara instantly scolded herself internally for even thinking about it after the disaster on Friday. He had run away from her which was a clear sign that he wasn't the least bit interested in her. All she could do was to sneak out of the bus when it stopped at her station and hope that he wouldn't spot her.

 

Clara should have known that all the luck had truly forsaken her when she got up from her seat to get off the bus and she watched the silver fox do the exact same thing. Quickly she lowered her gaze when she had reached the door, but before she had a chance to glance away Clara couldn't help but notice him looking at her for just a second too long. He knew exactly who she was and even though Clara had hoped it would happen, no hole in the ground opened up to swallow her. Instead, when the bus doors opened, she was met with a gust of wind that blew the first raindrops right into her face and she quickly jumped out of the vehicle to head down the street in the direction of her office. It was a five minute walk and Clara would be soaked to the bones by the time she arrived. Then something very strange happened.

“Would you like to share my umbrella?”

Clara stopped and turned around because right now she couldn't believe that he was asking and that she was the one he was speaking to and yet there he was, tall, handsome, a smile on his face and holding a perfectly big umbrella. She started to blush the moment their eyes met.

“I'm fine, uhm, thanks,” she stammered. The man remembered her. Clara couldn't possibly accept and let her embarrassment continue, so she just turned around and resumed her stride. The faster she walked the sooner she would reach her office. Yet still Clara was vaguely aware that the man was following her.

“You can still say yes,” the man said behind her. “I mean, we're obviously walking in the same direction.”

Before Clara had another chance to decline the rain suddenly stopped and she looked up to find her head covered by the man's umbrella.

“Thanks,” she mumbled and threw him a shy glance, instantly blushing again when she noticed just how close he was to her. And how good he looked.

“I remember you-”

“Please,” Clara groaned, “don't go there.”

“From the bar on Friday.”

With a sigh she lowered her eyes. “And you went there.”

Of course Clara would run into him again because the whole world was currently conspiring against her. Maybe she had messed up in her previous life and the humiliation was Karma's way to get back at her.

“I'm sor-” Clara attempted to apologize, only to realize that the man was saying the exact same thing at the exact same time. They both stopped and when their eyes met once more Clara couldn't help but burst into laugher.

“I wanted to apologize for just running off,” he said, chuckling. “You kinda took me by surprise.”

Clara smiled at him. Maybe it wasn't entirely hopeless. And maybe it wasn't bad luck that had brought them back together, but _luck_. “I'm sorry, I just, uhm, I'm sorry for what I said at the bar. I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking. Is that why you approached me? To apologize?” she wanted to know.

The man's lips curled into a smile as well. “No, you just looked like you could use an umbrella. And we're still walking in the same direction.”

“We are,” she noticed. Maybe he was living close by? Maybe there was a chance of running into him again?

“I'm John, by the way,” he said after a while.

“I'm Clara,” she replied. “And I'm grateful for the umbrella, thanks. I would have been completely soaked otherwise and I still have to meet with some clients.”

Clara glanced up at him, noticing that that soft smile was still on his lips, and suddenly she felt something tug at her insides. It was a strange feeling, one she hadn't felt in a very long time and a tingling sensation spread through her bones when Clara recognized it for what it was. She liked him. She was into him. It was strange. John was older than her, but still there was something boyish in the way he smiled.

 

It was almost a shame when they turned around the next corner and Clara spotted the sign in front of the office that advertised her business and for a brief moment she considered just walking with him for a while longer. Why would she even consider that? Just because he had a handsome face? Just because he was nice? The truth was that he was the first man in over a year to stir any kind of feeling inside her and Clara wasn't quite ready to let that feeling go. It felt good and she just wanted to hold on for a moment longer.

“You can have the umbrella if you like,” John suddenly said as he came to a halt. “Don't want you to catch a cold.”

“What?” Clara asked a little breathlessly when she was torn out of her thoughts. For a moment she was completely taken by surprise and she had no idea why he wanted to give her his umbrella. “Why?”

In response he nodded towards the house. “This is my stop,” he explained. “Don't worry. Take the umbrella. I get them for free every time someone leaves one at my practice.”

Clara turned around and noticed that they had come to a halt right in front of her office door and her heart sank as the realisation was beginning to dawn on her no matter how desperately she wanted to cling to that last bit of hope she still had. He wasn't. He couldn't be.

“You're my appointment?” she blurted out in disbelief.

A look of confusion briefly crossed his face before John managed to put the pieces of the puzzle together as well. “You're the wedding planner,” he realized.

Clara had been wrong. So, so wrong. She really was cursed with the worst of luck and whatever she had done in any previous life, Karma just hated her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your lovely comments :) Poor Clara, poor John. . . they're in for an awkward situation, aren't they?

John wasn't quite sure what to think, he didn't even know what he was doing here. One moment he had spotted the woman from last Friday night, the next he had offered her his umbrella because it had seemed like a nice thing to do. Only when Clara unlocked the door to her office and he followed her inside did John understand just what was going on.

“The world really is small, isn't it?” he remarked for lack of anything else to say. Up until a moment ago Clara had been a stranger he would never see again which was the only reason he had approached her in the first place. Now she was his wedding planner and something about that fact just confused him terribly because he didn't even want a wedding planner, but now that he knew her, could John just turn her down?

“I assume the bride to be and your sister will be here soon?” Clara asked him and somehow John thought her voice sounded odd. Was she still embarrassed about what had happened at the bar? She shouldn't be. In fact, he should be the one to feel embarrassed.

“Uhm,” he stammered, “I suppose Liz will be here soon. My sister might run late.”

“It's quite odd to have your sister as the instigator,” she said after a while and John watched her rummage through her desk. Clara still sounded a bit weird. “Usually it's the bride who comes to hire me. Oh, and you can sit down if you like.”

In response John held up the dripping umbrella. “Where should I put this?”

Clara looked up from her paperwork for just long enough to see what he was talking about, then she quickly averted her eyes again and instead nodded towards the little stand next to the door.

As John crossed the room he couldn't help but think that her office really suited Clara. It was small, but not crammed, with pastel coloured walls and furniture. He spotted countless photographs of couples on their wedding day all over the room.

“Most of them were taken by Sarah Jane, the photographer next door,” Clara explained. “She's the best, but of course a little pricey.”

Once again Clara gestured towards the little sitting area and John decided to sit down on the white sofa. White sofa, white chairs, white table. It really did look like a wedding planner's office.

“What exactly does a little pricey mean? I have no idea what to expect in that area.”

“If you want her for the whole day and you book her through me, that's £4000.”

“ _What?!_ ” John barked, almost jumping from his seat upon hearing the price.

“That's with a £500 discount,” Clara replied coldly.

He exhaled sharply and sank back into the sofa. He had assumed that a wedding would be pricey and it wasn't as if they couldn't afford it, but it was still a lot more than he would have expected.

“You look a bit shocked. Didn't anyone ever tell you that getting married would cost you a bit of money?” she asked and all of a sudden there was a strange smirk on her face as if the whole situation amused her somehow.

“The money isn't the problem,” John replied hesitantly. “I just thought. . . I don't know. . . I don't really want a big fuss.”

 

Their conversation came to an abrupt end when the little bell above the office door rang and John turned his head to see Liz step inside. She wore the brightest smile on her face that he had seen in weeks. Of course, she was happy that Missy had hired the wedding planner and that they would finally go ahead with it while John wished for it to finally be over.

“You must be the bride,” Clara greeted her and instantly outstretched her hand.

Liz shook it without hesitation. “Yes, I'm Liz.”

“I'm Clara. Please, have a seat.”

His fiancée greeted John with a short peck on the lips before she settled next to him, still completely out of breath from the walk. “Isn't Missy coming?”

“She's running a bit late. Problems at 3W,” he explained.

“Shall we get started?” Clara asked and still John couldn't help but think that something about her entire demeanour had changed ever since they had stepped inside this office. Outside, while they had shared his umbrella, Clara had seemed perfectly nice. Now he had the feeling as if she wanted nothing more than to get rid of them as quickly as possible. “Or do you want to wait for your sister?”

“I think we can discuss the basics without her?” Liz suggested carefully. She and Missy weren't exactly fond of each other, but while his sister made no secret of the fact that she disliked Liz, his fiancée seemed a bit terrified of Missy.

“Alright, then,” Clara said, obviously taking his silence as a yes. “Do you have a date in mind?”

“Not yet,” John replied instantly. They hadn't talked about anything yet apart from the fact that they should probably get married after she had accepted his proposal.

Liz cleared her throat in response. “Actually, I'd like to still get married in summer. Would that be possible?”

The wedding planner shrugged in response. “It's April, so a September wedding can still be arranged. I wouldn't advice anything earlier than that if you want a well-planned event.”

“Event,” John scoffed. “I don't think we'd want it to be an event. More like a small ceremony, right?”

“My darling,” Liz said sweetly and reached out to take his hand. John had half a mind to pull back. He hated public display of emotions. “We're only gonna get married once. Surely we can make it something special.”

“If you'd like a theme wedding, I've already organized several of those,” Clara threw in and suddenly rose from her seat to fetch a book from her shelf. She opened it before she handed it back to Liz. “Here is a Game of Thrones themed wedding I planned a few months ago.”

“Did you also slaughter all of the guests?” John remarked dryly.

Neither his fiancée nor Clara thought his question was worth a reply, instead John watched as Liz' eyes were beginning to light up. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Actually, all my life people have told me I look like Elizabeth I,” she explained with a smile. “So a Tudor-style wedding would be fantastic, I think.”

 

The door to the office opened once more when Missy hurried inside. She shook her umbrella by the door, spraying the rain all over the floor, before she discarded it next to his own.

“Sorry I'm late,” she apologized quickly and joined them in the sitting area. “A Tudor wedding, you say? That sounds excellent.”

“It sounds exaggerated,” John corrected her. Why couldn't they just get a ring and a signature like everyone else and be done with it? “I don't want to get all dressed up in some costume and make a fool of myself.”

“But darling-”

Clara cleared her throat. “Well, to be fair, the Virgin Queen never got married.”

“I'd rather have something simple and quiet,” he stated. 

John watched as Clara scribbled something down in her notebook before she looked up once again. “Okay, I see you haven't made up your mind about the kind of ceremony you'd like. That's fine, we still have time. But let's move on to some other questions, like the size of the party.”

“That's easy,” he replied instantly. “Just my sister and my best friend Donna. I don't need any more guests.”

John shifted his gaze from the wedding planner to Liz, only to realize that she looked a little torn. “Well, my list is a little longer. There's my family, Mum, Dad, my sister Mary and her husband, my cousins. And of course my friends and colleagues.”

“I haven't even met your sister,” John argued. “Why would you need to invite so many people?”

“How many people would you think there are on your guest list?” Clara demanded to know.

“Well,” Liz paused, “I'd say about 100.”

“ _100?!_ ” John blurted out.

“That would be 102 and with Donna and myself,” Missy added matter-of-factly and when John looked at her he couldn't help but think that she seemed quite serene over the entire discussion, maybe even a little bit pleased. And she didn't look like she was going to help him out any time soon. John didn't want a theme wedding, he didn't want 100 people present and his sister knew that damn well. Why had she dragged them here?

“Maybe you can find a middle way,” Clara suddenly suggested. “I'm gonna note down 100, but there's still time to change your mind about that.”

John exhaled sharply. Right now he would love to change his mind about the entire wedding plan.

“Now, I'd like to ask each of you what you think is the most important part of the wedding,” Clara said, smiling towards them. Somehow John still thought it looked forced and he knew that the most important part for him was not to make a fuss, but he didn't think that his opinion would be very much appreciated right now.

“The dress,” Liz responded immediately. “I don't have one yet, but I was gonna look at some next weekend together with friends.”

“Good,” she replied. “In my experience that is usually the toughest decision and it can work as a cornerstone for the rest of the ceremony. Depending on what kind of dress you pick the question of a theme or the venue might answer themselves.”

“There is also the question of John's suit,” Missy threw in and when John looked up he watched her smile mischievously.

“It's fine,” he said. “You can help me pick one.”

His sister burst into laughter. “Out of the question. I'm not stepping into a shop with you.”

“Fine, I'll ask Donna then,” John spat.

With a sigh Missy leaned forward. “Donna knows better than to take you clothes shopping. And why would you ask her if you've got an expert right in front of you?” she asked, nodding towards Clara.

“Uhm,” the wedding planner spluttered and all of a sudden she seemed a little taken aback.

“Oh, come on. I'm paying you a lot, so you can very well accompany my brother to a decent shop and pick a suit for him that doesn't make him look like a homeless magician.”

“Missy, Clara is a wedding planner, not a personal shopper. I'm sure she has better things to do,” John reminded her calmly.

“It's fine,” Clara replied to his surprise. “I know all the right shops. I can take you.”

“Well, at least that means the Tudor wedding is off the table,” his sister replied and rose to her feet. “I'm sorry, I have to go back to 3W, but I'm sure you've got the rest under control.”

Under control. John felt as if he was going to burst into laughter. This whole wedding planner things was turning out to be a disaster and after only one meeting he and Liz had established that they were disagreeing on basically everything. But even if they hadn't managed to find a middle ground yet and even though his sister was proving to be anything but helpful, John thought that at least Clara knew what she was doing. Maybe in time Liz could be talked out of a big ceremony and if not he would just have to grit his teeth and do whatever the hell she liked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your sweet comments :D  
> And may I just remind you of what role Missy played for the Doctor and Clara on the show and how the Tenth Doctor proposed to Elizabeth I. . . cause both is important to bear in mind ;)

“Thanks Rory.” Clara granted him a smile when he handed her and Amy a glass of wine, but for some reason her best friend's boyfriend avoided making eye contact and she didn't need a lot of imagination to know why that was.

After exchanging a quick glance with Amy Clara decided to go ahead and tease him just a little.

“You know, I had a really interesting client today,” she lied and briefly winked at her friend before Rory could notice.

“Oh?” Amy raised her eyebrows in pretend interest. “Tell me all about it.”

“The way he _proposed_ was really cute,” Clara went on, racking her brain for a story she could tell her friend.

“How did he propose?” her friend pressed on and both of them quickly glanced towards Rory, who seemed to grow more uncomfortable by the minute.

Then he cleared his throat. “Uhm, I,” he stammered, “I think I should leave you to the girl talk.”

Before either of them could say another word Rory darted out of the room, almost knocking over the kitchen chair in the process, and quickly closed the door behind him. Clara and Amy both burst into laughter.

“That was mean,” her friend remarked, still chuckling. “I absolutely approve.”

Clara took a sip from her wine and suddenly remembered why she had come here in the first place and that was certainly not to tease Amy's boyfriend. No, she had had a strange day and somehow it had made her think that maybe she just wasn't supposed to ever find love again. Running into John again had been awkward at first, but then Clara had really come to see it as a second chance – before that had blown away like a leaf in the wind when he had turned out to be her new client.

“What's wrong?” Amy wanted to know, obviously sensing that she hadn't just come here for the glass of wine.

Clara sighed in response. “Remember the silver fox from Friday?”

Amy instantly started to giggle. “You mean the one you so pathetically hit on?”

“The very one,” she said heavily and rolled her eyes. She didn't really want to think about their encounter at the bar any longer and she was very grateful that John hadn't brought it up in front of everyone else.

“What about him?” her friend wanted to know.

After another sip from her glass Clara decided to just get the story out. “I ran into him again and at first I just wanted to hide because of the embarrassing encounter on Friday, but he spotted me,” she explained. “And then he offered me to share his umbrella.”

“Aw, that's nice,” Amy remarked.

“It was,” Clara couldn't help but agree. “It was very nice. _He_ was nice and I realized that I felt kinda. . . drawn to him, you know?”

Her friend smirked at her over her wine glass. “Never took you for one to fancy older men, Clara Oswald.”

Clara chuckled in response. “That's not the point,” she replied before her voice dropped and the smile faded from her lips. “He's my new client.”

“Oh,” Amy uttered a sharp hiss. “That was probably awkward.”

“ _Really_ awkward,” she replied immediately. “At first I had no idea what to say because one moment I had thought he could potentially become a nice flirt or whatever, the next he's sitting in my office next to his soon-to-be bride and his sister and it's all really strange. His fiancée is strange and his sister is even stranger. The couple didn't agree on anything and his sister was just sitting there, looking as if she was enjoying that.”

Her friend frowned at her in response. “What was his sister doing there?”

Clara shrugged and decided to have another sip from her wine. “No idea. She was the one who hired me, said she wanted to have a part in the wedding because apparently she wasn't at his first, but I don't know,” she explained with a sigh. “Probably just some weird family business, but that's not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

“The point is that I'm gonna die single,” Clara complained loudly. “Danny was my first proper relationship, my first _real love_ after just dating for years. And now I can't even seem to get a date or a fling. It took me over a year to find a guy I thought was decent enough for a flirt and he's gonna get married in September to a woman who thinks she looks like Elizabeth I but really, really doesn't. I have all the rotten luck!”

Amy opened her mouth to reply, but Clara cut her off. She wasn't quite done yet.

“And on top of everything I am extremely stupid,” she added. “I agreed to go shopping with him to find a suit for the wedding because I'm insane and I love torturing myself a little more by looking at what I can't have.”

To her surprise Amy started to chuckle. “Oh Clara, you really are on a streak there,” her friend sighed. “But look on the bright side. At least you're not going to marry into that crazy family.”

Clara finished her wine and thought about what Amy had said and she was right. To have Missy as sister-in-law would be thoroughly off-putting and if Clara did her job well John and Liz would be married in September and she would never have to hear from them ever again.

* * *

John locked the door of his practice with a sigh and switched off the lights before he made his way into the back where Martha was already sorting the patients' files back into their drawers.

“You look exhausted,” she remarked.

“Had an exhausting day,” John said. “Met with the wedding planner.”

His receptionist gawked at him. “You're going to get married?”

In response John shot her a dark look. “Apparently,” he growled. “I was thinking about a quiet ceremony, but my sister decided to hire a planner for God knows what reason. And now Liz suddenly came up with a guest list of 100 people and the insane idea to have a theme wedding. Thank God the planner talked her out of that.”

Martha shrugged in response. “Micky and I hired a planner back then. She was great.”

“It wasn't Clara Oswald, was it?”

“Yes,” she said immediately and her eyes lit up. “Clara Oswald. She's the best. Her friend Sarah Jane took the photos and they turned out _amazing_!”

“You paid £4000 for your weddings photos?” John asked dryly.

His receptionist nodded. “That's pretty much the standard. In fact, we looked at the figures and she was one of the more reasonably priced ones. I think I saw a few on that list that wanted up to £10.000.”

John exhaled sharply and sank down on his office chair. The whole wedding thing was just a bit too much for him right now and he wished that he could just go back and beg Missy not to hire a planner because this wedding was turning into a nightmare. He hated the entire idea of making money out of marriage. He had been married for 24 happy years without having had a wedding planner or a proper venue or even a suit and a dress. Why couldn't he and Liz just elope and be done with it? Damn Missy and her stupid ideas.

“Don't worry too much about it,” Martha said understandingly. “You're in good hands. Clara Oswald really knows what she's doing. We even ended up inviting her and her boyfriend to the wedding.”

“Fine,” he hissed. “I mean, she's nice and I'd feel bad if we cancelled on her now and-”

John never had a chance to finish his sentence when his phone rang in his pocket and he drew it out to see a new message. From Clara Oswald.

_Do you have some time this week to go looking for your suit?_  
_Clara Oswald_

With a sigh John set out to type a reply.

_I close my practice at 1pm on Friday. Does any time after that that suit you?_  
_John_

“I really wish I could just get married in my plaid trousers,” John joked and nodded towards his legs.

Martha Jones smiled in response. “I bet some people in Vegas got married in more embarrassing clothes. Not sure about London though.”

_Any time after 1pm is fine. Meet me at my office? The shops are all around the area._  
_Clara_

However bad the situation was, there still was a bright side to it. At least John didn't have to go shopping together with Liz.

_I'll meet you there._  
_John_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, babes :) Let's see how things develop when they go suit shopping XD

When her office door opened Clara had half expected John Smith to step inside and for some reason her heart skipped a little beat until she realized that it wasn't the silver fox she shouldn't even be looking at because he was as good as married, but her best friend Amy, holding up a cup of Starbucks coffee.

“I was in the area,” her friend explained happily. “Thought you might need a boost.”

“Thank you,” Clara replied gratefully and outstretched her hands to take the coffee from Amy. “You're an angel.”

She closed her eyes and took a large sip from the warm brew which was exactly what she needed right now before she faced the cold and wet April weather outside while she went out suit shopping with her client, however Clara soon noticed that her friend took a seat on the other side of her desk and seemed to make herself comfortable.

“I'm afraid I don't have a lot of time,” she explained. “My client is gonna be here any moment.”

In response Clara earned a broad smile. “I know,” Amy replied.

She growled at her friend as soon as she realized just what exactly Amy was up to. “You can't hang around here until he shows up. That's just weird.”

“I just wanna get a good look at him, that's all,” her friend said defensively. “I also brought you coffee.”

Clara glowered at Amy in return. “That's blackmail. And it's still weird.”

“Oh, come on,” Amy laughed teasingly. “I just wanna get a look at your crush and I'm your friend, so me being here is not at all weird.”

“I do not have a cru-”

Clara's sentence was cut short when the door to her office opened once again and this time it really was John Smith who stepped inside, looking just as good as he had last time. Damn, he really was attractive despite the plaid trousers and the hoodie. Maybe it was the hair or that dreamy look on his face or his insanely nice looking, broad chest. Clara needed to get a grip.

“Crutches,” she stammered, realizing her sentence was still only half finished.

“Crutches?” John Smith asked in return, raising his eyebrows. Amy instantly turned towards him and Clara prayed that her friend would stop grinning now. “Are you hurt?”

“No, uhm, I'm fine,” Clara lied, spluttering. “Just, uhm, twisted my ankle a bit the other day.”

“Really? Cause if you're hurt, we can postpone the shopping. There's still time until September,” he suggested.

“I'm fine,” she repeated instantly. “Really, it's nothing.”

Before either of them had a chance to say another word Amy rose from her seat and crossed the room to shake John's hand. He seemed more confused than anything else, but still greeted her in a polite manner while Clara wished she could just hide under her desk until this wedding was over.

“You're the doctor, right?” Clara heard Amy ask and the sudden urge to strangle her best friend arose in her. She should never have told her anything about him and now John probably thought she was some sort of gossip monger who blabbed about other people's weddings to her best friend. “Clara's new client?”

In reply Clara cleared her throat and rose from behind her desk. “I'm sorry, Amy, but we really should get going now. Thanks for the coffee.”

“Any time,” her friend said with a smile before she turned back towards John. “Take good care of her. Don't let her walk too far with her sprained ankle.”

 

Clara took her first deep breath once Amy had left the office and granted John an apologetic smile. “I am so, so sorry. I swear, the only thing I told her was that I was expecting a client who just happened to be a doctor. That all, I promise,” she uttered nervously.

To her relief John smiled at her in response and the sight caused a weight to drop off her shoulder. It was silly. She shouldn't care what he thought about her. He was only a client. “It's alright. But what about your ankle? Should you really be going out?”

“Yeah,” she replied instantly and then decided to pay Amy back at least a little. “Really, I'm fine. I twisted my ankle earlier this week and my friend is blowing it completely out of proportion. It was fine the next day.”

“Alright,” John said with a smile and he lifted his umbrella, waving it around in front of her face. Of course. It was raining again. “Shall we?”

Clara followed John out into the street and locked the office door behind her before she started to lead the way towards the shops, all the while ignoring the strange, nervous feeling in her stomach that she got whenever their bodies touched under the umbrella. By now Clara wasn't entirely sure whether this sensation was a welcome one or a nuisance, but she knew for certain that she couldn't let her attraction towards John get in the way of planning his wedding. No, she needed to be a professional despite the tingling she felt when their arms brushed and despite the way her stomach twisted into a knot when he smiled at her. She just had to get over it somehow.

But the worst part of it was that John had to _know_ that she was attracted to him. After all, Clara had hit on him that just a week ago and she hadn't been exactly subtle. Was he aware of the effect his presence had on her? Clara couldn't tell.

“Are you sure your foot is okay?”

“Mh?” Clara uttered and looked up at him. His eyes suddenly seemed so kind when she looked into them and she found it hard to pin down their exact colour. Were they grey? Blue? Green? Clara couldn't quite tell. Then it suddenly occurred to her that John had asked her a question. “Oh, yeah, sure. Besides, there's the first shop.”

Clara nodded towards _The Bride & Groom_ in front of them and she heard John growl next to her.

“I hate shopping,” he complained grudgingly. “Liz took me shopping once. Four hours of torture. Never again.”

She chuckled in response. “Let me guess, you bought the pyjamas bottoms and the hoodie out of protest,” Clara teased him.

John's head shot around and she found him glowering at her. “Those trousers are comfortable.”

“If you say so,” she replied, sniggering while she opened the shop door. “However, I'm sure you don't want to get married in them, so here we are.”

 

“Clara, darling,” Jackie's friendly voice rang through the entire shop shortly before a pair of arms closed around her in a tight hug. “It's so good to see you.”

“Good to see you, too,” Clara replied happily. “And I've brought a customer.”

Jackie Tyler released her from her embrace and turned her attention towards John, a smug smile soon spreading across her entire face. “Well, well, well, and a handsome one at that.”

Clara cleared her throat. “Jackie, John's going to get married in September,” she reminded her.

“So what?” the shop owner asked with a shrug. “I'm married, too. Second time. Same man. Doesn't mean I can't look.”

When she glanced towards John Clara could tell just how uncomfortable he was, just like he had been when she had come on to him at the bar, so she decided to help him out.

“The groom would like a decent suit for his wedding,” Clara explained.

“Speaking of wedding,” Jackie interrupted her once more. “How is my daughter's wedding coming along? Rose refuses to tell me anything, says I'm butting in, but I'm the mother and I have every right to know what exactly she's up to.”

Clara smiled at her in reply. “No need to worry. It's all planned out, everything's booked. It's gonna be great, Jackie, trust me. Now, please, can we focus?”

“Right,” Jackie said enthusiastically and turned back around towards John, scanning him with her eyes and Clara had to resist the urge to do the same thing.

John was really nice to look at. Tall, lean, but not skinny, broad shoulders, but still Clara was mostly fascinated by the amount of silver curls on his head and she wondered whether they would feel as soft as they looked. His face was handsome, too, and even when he glowered at someone there was so much kindness in his look that it was hard not to like him.

“You should definitely wear a waistcoat,” Jackie determined after a while. “You've got such a nice upper body, it would be a shame to hide it under a loose shirt. Hold on.”

The shop owner vanished behind a few racks and Clara glanced up at John who still looked anything but comfortable in this shop.

“She's a bit much, isn't she?” he whispered towards Clara.

She chuckled in response. “She can be, yeah, but she's really nice. And she's good at what she does.”

John inhaled deeply when Jackie Tyler returned with some clothes that she instantly handed over to him.

“Try this on. It's a suit with a waistcoat, but I took the liberty of selecting a slightly longer coat to go with it. You're tall. If anyone can pull it off, it's you,” she explained and then made an impatient hand gesture. “What are you waiting for? Try it on?”

 

John mumbled something unintelligible when he vanished into the changing rooms and Clara sank down on a chair in the waiting area. It had been a good idea to go to Jackie straight away because if anyone could find a good suit for John, it was her. And the sooner he found something, the sooner they could go their separate ways.

While she waited a couple of young, giggling girls came in, refusing Jackie's offer to help, and went on to browse through the bridal section. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Clara had been one of those girls. Silly, romantic and hopeful about the upcoming dream wedding. Now all those girls earned from her were a few disdainful looks. Clara would never get married, especially not like this.

“Why are you so glum?” Jackie asked her after a while. “Still because of Danny?”

Clara shot her a dark glance in return. “Can we please not?”

“Alright,” she sighed. “Just so you know, if an old hag like me can find love again, so can you.”

“You literally married the same man twice, Jackie,” Clara replied with a soft laugh.

“I know, it's a miracle. And that's even though he already knew all of my faults.”

Clara couldn't help but laugh. Jackie had been through so much in life and still she had somehow retained her optimism. Maybe Clara could do with some of that.

“Okay, I'm dressed,” John announced from inside the changing room. “But you have to promise not to laugh.”

“We won't,” Clara and Jackie agreed in unison and it took a moment, but eventually John slowly opened the curtain and stepped outside.

What Clara saw was certainly not a reason to laugh because, just like she had expected, John looked like a dream husband. Jackie had been absolutely right in suggesting that a waistcoat would suit him because it did. The combination of the crisp white shirt and the black waistcoat gave him a serious appearance, but also outlined his slim figure perfectly. The longer coat only added to it.

“How bad is it?” he asked.

Clara couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face when she glanced up and down his body, but she knew better than to express her real thoughts. “You look like David Bowie,” she replied instead. “I like it.”

“We'll have to take in the jacket just a bit,” Jackie explained and pointed towards the loose shoulders. “But that won't be a problem.”

“Uhm, does this coat come in a version with red lining?” John wanted to know.

Jackie shrugged in response. “We can have it tailor-made. That can absolutely be arranged.”

“Good,” John concluded. “Let's do that.”

Clara frowned at him for a moment. “Didn't your sister say something about not looking like a magician?”

“Exactly,” he deadpanned. “That's why I wanna do it.”

“Okay,” Jackie announced happily and reached for a measuring tape. “Let me just take your measurements for the coat and we're done.”

Clara leaned back in her chair and started to giggle when she realized what was about to happen as Jackie measured John and he stiffened up under her touch.

“Uhm,” he stammered, “do you, uhm, do you really need my thigh measurements for the coat?”

“Yes,” Jackie replied and Clara covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing about the look on John's face as she reached between his legs. “Trust me, I'm a professional.”

Finally John yielded to the measuring tape even though his face still said he was anything but okay with being touched and suddenly in dawned on Clara that their afternoon together would come to an end in just a few minutes. She told herself that it was for the best, that she shouldn't stay in his company for longer than she needed to before her attraction towards him grew even stronger, and yet a tiny part of her was sad because she really, really liked his company.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *group hug for the awesome commenters* Thank you so much :)

John opened the umbrella to give them both shelter from the rain when they stepped out of the shop and somehow he felt a little torn. There was a part of him that was undeniably relieved that he had found a decent suit so quickly and would be spared endless hours in more shops and he was dying to see the look on Missy's face when he presented her his “magician” coat. He smiled to himself when he imagined what her reaction would be.

Yet another part of John realized now just how serious this wedding business had become all of a sudden and choosing a suit was one more step in the direction of getting married. It had been decades since his last wedding and he had married River on a whim, so he wasn't quite sure whether he had had doubts before saying yes. Back then it had just. . . happened.

“Did the suit really look good?” John asked Clara, who had fallen silent next to him as they made their way back to her office. Usually he didn't care what other people thought about his clothes, but a suit for a wedding wasn't just an ordinary outfit.

Clara looked up at him and smiled. There was still something shy about her glance as if she continued to feel embarrassed about their encounter at the bar. Sometimes John thought she made an extra effort not to look at him and he wasn't quite sure what to think about that. “Of course it looked good,” she replied after a moment. “Very good. Not sure what your sister will think about the red lining though.”

He chuckled. “That's my revenge.”

“Your revenge?” Clara asked curiously.

“Yeah, for just hiding a wedding planner out of the blue,” John said and Clara instantly averted her eyes again, looking to the ground. Oh, he was such an idiot. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. You're great at your job. And you're nice. And-”

John broke off when he realized that Clara was chuckling.

“What?” he asked, not knowing what joke he had missed this time.

“It's fine,” she said and looked back at him, still smiling broadly. For the first time since she had found out that he was her new client John thought that her smile seemed sincere. And that Clara was very pretty when she smiled. “I get it. You're really not the type to hire a wedding planner, I admit. Few men are.”

John blew the air out between his teeth. “Phew, that's a relief,” he sighed. “So, uhm, would you like to get a late lunch?”

“What? With you?” Clara asked and she sounded as if she was surprised.

To be fair, John hadn't actually planned to take Clara out for lunch, but now that they were here and talking he thought that maybe she could answer some of the questions he had about the upcoming wedding. “Yes,” he confirmed. “Unless you have a rule about going to lunch with clients. In that case I'd hate to tempt you to break it.”

Again Clara smiled at him. Yes, he did like that look on her face. “No, I don't. Lunch sounds great.”

 

They found a little café just a short walk from her office and took a seat by the window, though why John couldn't quite say. The weather was gruesome and he didn't actually want to spend more time looking at it than absolutely necessary. Then again, he could always look at Clara Oswald instead.

At first John wasn't sure what to say to her and they sipped their coffee in silence for a while until the situation was becoming a little awkward.

“So, uhm,” John paused, “how long have you been a wedding planner?”

Clara put her coffee mug down and glanced out of the window for a brief moment before she decided that he was probably still a better view than the weather. “Almost 7 years now,” she replied.

“And how exactly do you go into that business? I mean, I can't imagine that you just graduate from school and go _I'm going to open my own business as a wedding planner_.”

Clara chuckled in response. “Not exactly, no. I was gonna be a teacher, but then Jackie, the woman at _The Bride & Groom_, she was about to get married again and she wanted the day to be perfect. Her first wedding was a bit of a disaster and Rose, her daughter and a friend of mine, and I just sat together and helped her plan it. I realized that I really enjoyed it and that I was good at it. That's basically how it happened,” Clara explained.

“That makes sense, I guess,” John replied. “And it does suit you.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely.

Their food arrived and for a while both of them fell silent again while they ate and in his head John went over the whole first meeting with the planner again. The questions she had asked them about the theme or the guest list or the venue went through his mind again and somehow he started to wonder if maybe he and Liz should have talked about it beforehand. Somehow he felt like they were probably the only couple who went into a wedding planner meeting with no idea and no common ground.

 

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

Clara's head shot up from her salad and she smiled. “Uhm, sure,” she replied hesitantly. “What is it?”

John cleared his throat. “I was wondering what your dream wedding would be.”

In an instant Clara dropped her gaze back to her food. “I don't have a dream wedding,” she said coldly. 

He scoffed. “I'm sure every woman has a dream wedding. Some would like to get married on the beach, others in a church. So what's yours?”

“I really don't have one,” Clara snapped at him and for a moment John fell silent. The sharpness of her voice told him that he had probably hit a nerve, but she soon softened her tone. “I'm sorry. It's just that I'm really not a romantic person. I hate the whole thing. The flowers, the tulle, the pastel coloured gowns. And those silly vows are going to make me vomit at some point.”

John needed a moment to let her words sink in, but after he had realized just what Clara had said and how it had sounded as if she had been desperate to get it out for a long time, he couldn't help but burst into laugher. “Oh my God, I feel the same way,” he agreed, laughing. “It's so cheesy!”

“I know!” Clara almost yelled. “And all those women dream about nothing but walking down the aisle, their feet hurting in their high heels, their dresses tight to the point that they can't breathe, their shoes squashing flower petals into the carpet and causing stains you'll never get rid of while they're trying not to sneeze because they're allergic to the flowers they picked for their bouquets.”

“I don't understand why it's such a life goal for most people. I mean, nothing against marriage. I've been married before and I don't mind. It's great when two people can spend the rest of their lives together, but why make such a fuss out of it? It's expensive and it makes no difference. In the end all that really matters is your signature to make it legal and effort from both sides to make the relationship work.”

Suddenly Clara grew a lot more serious. “I'm sorry about your first wife,” she said sincerely. “Your sister mentioned it when she first came to my office.”

“It's been many years,” he explained quietly. “At some point you just move on.”

Clara nodded in response and there was something in her expression that he couldn't quite place, but then another question occurred to him that he felt like he needed to ask.

“Why did you become a wedding planner if you hate all of it?” he wanted to know.

To his surprise she shrugged and smiled once again. “I'm good at planning, that's all. Gotta make a living somehow, right? And now I'm gonna plan yours,” Clara said, grinning broadly. “However, I'm afraid your future wife has other views on romance than you.”

With a sigh John sank back into his seat. “I know, I know,” he replied, exhaling sharply. Then he scoffed. “The whole thing was kind of an accident, you know?”

“What was?”

“The proposal,” John explained. “I casually mentioned it. It was a joke, but Liz. . . she thought I was serious and said yes. She was so over the moon that I couldn't bring myself to tell her I didn't mean it.”

Clara's mouth fell open in an instant. “And you're still gonna go through with it?” she wanted to know. It was obvious that she was a little more shocked than he had expected.

John shrugged. “Why not? I mean, we've been together for a while, it makes no difference to me. It makes her happy, I don't mind, so why not? I just wish we could do it quietly without all the fuss.”

For a moment Clara fell completely silent and picked her fork back up, poking through her salad without actually eating it, but right now John couldn't help but think that hiring a wedding planner had been a better idea than he would have expected. Clara was smart, she was honest and, above all, John felt like he could tell her anything. Maybe she could help him out, convince his fiancée that a big wedding wasn't necessary. If anyone understood what he felt, it was Clara. It was at this moment that John realized that he really liked this young woman.

“You know what,” he said after a moment and when Clara looked up John granted her a bright smile. “I'm glad that my sister hired you.”

Clara needed a moment, but eventually she smiled in return and gave a soft shrug. “So am I. I mean, it pays the bills,” she said, chuckling.

John laughed with her and he, too, picked his fork back up and continued to eat his lunch, feeling a lot better than he had before this meeting. For the first time in weeks he felt as if the looming threat of the wedding wasn't as bad as he had initially thought.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments :) Yes, John and Clara are bonding at last. . . so I think we could use a bit of trouble :D

John's eyes were beginning to fall shut and he only realized it when his head slipped from the support of his hand and threatened to hit his desk. Instantly he jerked back up and his eyes fell on the clock on his desk, telling him that it was nearly 9 pm.

For a brief moment he considered driving home across half the city, but John quickly scrapped that idea. He was too exhausted and he would have to open his practice tomorrow morning, so instead he reached for his phone and texted Liz that he would spend the night here like he often did and rose from his desk.

The stairs up to his flat above the practice seemed endless and John ended up dragged his body through the door, only to be startled by a presence he hadn't expected to find there at all.

“Jesus Christ!” he cursed when he spotted Missy sitting in the armchair. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Visiting my brother, of course,” she replied matter-of-factly. “You were asleep on your desk downstairs when I came in, so I thought I'd wait here.”

When his heartbeat had calmed down to a more natural rhythm after the initial surprise John crossed the room to the fridge and retrieved two bottles of beer before he handed one to his sister. Somehow he doubted that she would leave and by now he was too alert to fall asleep anyway.

“I should take away your key,” he growled when he sat down on the sofa, glaring at his sister, who just granted him a sweet smile in return.

“And who is going to water your plants while you're on holiday?”

In response John raised his eyebrows at his sister before he let his gaze wander across the room. This flat was more of a loft with one, large room forming the lounge and kitchen and his adjoining bedroom half hidden away behind the sliding doors he had left ajar. It was small, it was cosy, it was the ultimate bachelor pad that he still used whenever he was working late or had an early start. But one thing this place certainly didn't have was a plant.

“Why are you not at home?” Missy wanted to know instead.

“Because I had work to do and the house is all across the city,” John reasoned. “Liz knows and she understands it. Besides, I believe she'd get rather grumpy if I woke her up when I got home at midnight and then woke her up again when I got up at 5.”

His sister shrugged. “Fair enough.”

John furrowed his brows at her while she was taking a sip from the bottle, but he still couldn't read her true intentions from her face. His sister was way too good at disguising what she was really up to or he was too bad at reading her – it was one or the other.

“Why are you really here?” he asked eventually when he had given up his attempt to figure it out on his own.

His sister sighed and put the bottle down before she smiled at him. “I wanted to know how far you've come in planning your wedding,” she explained.

“It's been a week since the first meeting,” John said. “What makes you think we've planned anything at all?”

In reply Missy pouted at him, causing John to sigh in defeat.

“Alright, yes, I went shopping for a suit with Clara last Friday,” he admitted.

“Clara?” his sister asked with exaggerated interest. “You're no longer mad that I hired her?”

John inhaled deeply and somehow he felt the exhaustion creep back up inside of him. He needed to get rid of Missy, he needed to go to bed and not think about the wedding in the process. “No, I'm not. I've spoken to Martha and she and Mickey actually hired her, too. She seems nice and above all reasonable.”

“Which clearly can't be said about your future bride,” his sister scoffed. “A Tudor-style wedding? Oh, please.”

“That's not gonna happen,” he growled. “And I found a decent suit, so it's all going well. You can go home now and stay out of the planning.”

The look on Missy's face turned into an even stranger pout. “I just want the best for you, Johnny,” she vowed.

“Somehow I sincerely doubt that,” John spat. “And don't call me Johnny.”

“Well, doubt it or not,” his sister stated as she rose from her seat. “Maybe you should meet with Clara in private and talk about what kind of wedding you'd like. She might be able to convince Liz to give up on her big plans.”

John had to admit that it wasn't such a bad idea, if only he knew what kind of wedding he wanted because, just like Clara, he didn't care for all the flowers and the tulle at all. Maybe they could figure something out together? Maybe she could really help him out? So far they had only gone to lunch and they had gotten along quite well, so the idea really appealed to John right now.

“Maybe I will,” he sighed and sipped his beer.

“That's the spirit,” Missy concluded. “Sleep well, dear brother. And don't work too long.”

 

John sank back into his seat when Missy left his flat and he eventually heard the front door shut. Even though he still doubted her intentions in this matter, he decided to take her advice to heart. Tomorrow morning, before he opened his practice, he would text Clara Oswald and ask to meet her again to discuss possible details for his wedding. After all, there was little that could actually go wrong.

* * *

_Of course. I've got some appointments today, but the afternoon is free. Just stop by any time before 6._  
_Clara_

John smiled at his phone and instantly programmed a reminder into it so he wouldn't forget to go into town after closing his practice. He was almost ready to call for the first patient when suddenly his phone rang once again and he spotted Liz' name on the display.

“Good morning,” he greeted her in a happy manner. “Did you sleep well?”

“I would have slept better with you here,” his fiancée replied with a sigh. “Did you work late again?”

“I did and Missy stopped by, too. Sorry, I thought it would be better to stay here than to wake you up,” John explained.

Liz hesitated for a moment before she spoke again. “Maybe we should look for a different house after the wedding. You know, one closer to your practice.”

For some reason John's heart sank a little when he heard those words. He liked the little house on the other side of the Thames and he also liked the flat above his practice that could serve him as a retreat.

“Let's not rush things, okay?” he suggested instead. “I mean, the wedding is going to be expensive and will probably require some energy. There's still time to think about that afterwards.”

“Right,” Liz replied cheerfully. “Of course you're right, darling. You always are.”

“I've got to open my practice now. The patients are already waiting,” John explained.

“Don't work too hard, love.”

“I won't. See you tonight,” he concluded and hung up.

 

Once he had slipped his phone into his pocket, he turned his attention towards the patient file on his desk. A young woman called Susan Foreman, a new patient. It would probably be an easy case like the flu or a bad cold, so he gestured towards Martha to call her in.  
A few moments passed, but eventually a quirky looking woman with dark, short hair stepped into his office and for some reason John thought she looked nervous.

“Hello,” John greeted her in a friendly manner and gestured towards the chair on the opposite side of the desk. “I'm Dr John Smith. Please, have a seat.”

The young woman cleared her throat and did as she was asked and by now John realized that her hands were trembling. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe she was really ill.

“So,” he said, deciding to go on, “what I can do for you? Are you feeling unwell?”

Susan Foreman stared at him for a long moment, inhaling deeply before she spoke. Eventually she forced herself to smile. “I'm Susan Foreman,” the woman said nervously, her voice trembling just like her hands. “And I think I'm your daughter.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it looks as if I've got your attention now XD Thank you guys so much for your lovely comments and screams :D

John stared at the woman in front of him for what seemed like an eternity, but no matter how hard he tried to wrap his head around what she had just told him, it just wouldn't sink in at all. In his mind he tried to rearrange the words, looking for a way in which he could have misunderstood her, but the words remained clear and unambiguous. _I think I'm your daughter._ John had no idea what to say or what to think.

“My mother was Patricia Foreman,” the young woman went on after a while. “I think you might have known her as Patti. 22 years ago.”

John inhaled deeply and now he realized that Susan wasn't the only one shaking because when he looked at his fingers they were trembling like mad and his heart was about to jump out of his chest. Now the truth was finally beginning to sink in, but if John had though it would make things better, he had been so, so wrong. He had known a woman named Patti Foreman. A very long time ago. John swallowed hard as he looked at Susan, properly looked at her, maybe for the first time since she had stepped into his office. There was no denying that he was looking at Patti's daughter.

“Uhm,” John attempted to say, but found that his voice came out hoarse. He cleared his throat. “What makes you think that I'm your father?”

To his utter horror John couldn't deny that maybe he really could be. But he had no idea why Patti would have kept this a secret from him.

Susan granted him a smile, but nevertheless there was something sad about it. “I never knew my father. My Mum raised me on her own before she met the man that became my stepfather. Mum,” she paused. “Mum passed away last year. I found her old diaries in the basement a while ago and she mentioned a name, the only person she was with at the time I was conceived. A doctor named John Smith.”

John exhaled sharply and sank a little deeper into his chair. Even though his thoughts were still running haywire, there was one thing that kept coming up, one question he couldn't answer and couldn't stop thinking about. Why hadn't she told him?

“Mum never told me and I never really asked,” Susan explained. “My stepdad has always been nothing but kind to me and Mum, but when I found the diary I just. . . I don't know, I got curious. I visited two other Dr John Smiths here in London before you, but if you knew her, then-”

“I did,” John replied quietly and the defeat must have been audible in his voice. He hadn't thought that this chapter of his life would come back to haunt him one day. It had been over for so long, done and dusted, packed away in a box with a lot of other memories. “I was with your mother at that point. For a short while. Why did she never tell me about you?”

The young woman gave a soft shrug. “You were married,” she stated plainly.

John merely nodded in response. Patti should have told him. He would have been there for her and for his daughter no matter the circumstances. Now here she was, in her 20s, and John thought he might never recover from the shock.

“I should go,” Susan said after a moment. “Maybe I could. . . I don't know. . . leave you my phone number? Cause I'm still curious. I'd like to know who you are.”

He wasn't entirely sure what to reply. Susan was here, so whatever she had read in Patti's diary, it couldn't have been so bad as to ruin his image entirely. And of course he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to explain, wanted to know, about her, about Patti, but right now John still couldn't think clearly. It was all too much.

“Please,” he replied eventually. “I'll call you. I just. . . need a bit.”

Again Susan smiled and nodded before she drew a little note out of her pocket and placed it on his desk.

“And I'm sorry,” John said. “About your Mum. She was a wonderful woman.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Yes, she was.”

 

Once Susan had left the office John knew that he couldn't just call for the next patient. He needed a moment. He needed to breathe. He needed to sort his thoughts. It was at moments like these that he wished he still had River by his side even though she had been dead for over ten years. She would have known what to do, what to say, so John drew out his phone and attempted to call the person closest to him, the only other person who knew the full extend of what had happened back then.

_Hello, this is the mailbox of Donna Noble. I am currently lying on a beach and sipping a cocktail, but if you leave a message, I'll call you when I get back home._

“Damn,” John cursed as he threw his phone back on his table. He had completely forgotten that Donna had gone on holiday a few days after their night out at the bar, but that didn't change the fact that she wasn't here to listen to him. And he really, really needed to talk to somebody. He couldn't tell Missy and, above all, he couldn't tell Liz. She would never understand. What on earth was he supposed to do?

* * *

Clara had lost her mind, she was fairly certain that she had and right now she felt like hitting her head against the wall with such force that she would have to be hospitalized and wouldn't have to go through another meeting with just John Smith. It was a bad idea and yet she had agreed to it only too happily, knowing that she would enjoy his company. But the truth was that she was enjoying it a little too much and to make the situation even worse, it now seemed as if he was going to stand her up. It was almost 6 and his practice closed at 4 on a Monday, something she had quickly learned by googling his name and the address of his office that he had mentioned in passing, but despite the clock ticking further towards 6, John still wasn't here.

Clara had half a mind to close up early, assuming he wouldn't show up, when suddenly her office door opened and John stepped inside. The moment she looked at him Clara knew that something was terribly wrong, that something bad had probably happened because he looked terrible. Well, John didn't look _terrible_ , he still was too handsome for her taste, but his face was the colour of ash and somehow his entire body appeared a little smaller than it usually did.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized quietly, his voice weak and reluctant. “I took the wrong bus.”

The way he looked at her, his gaze so utterly empty, suddenly started to scare her a little bit and as if by instinct Clara rose from her seat and approached him across the room. “Are you okay?” she asked sincerely. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

“I, uhm,” he stammered. “I'm fine.”

Obviously John was anything but fine, so Clara gestured towards the sitting area and she needed to place her hand on his shoulder and guide him to finally make him move. For a brief moment Clara considered the possibility that maybe he had had a fight with his fiancée, but she soon realized that it probably wouldn't be enough to put John in such a state. No, something else was wrong.

“Are you sure you're alright?” Clara pressed and finally John looked back at her. He seemed terrified.

“Actually, uhm,” he paused. John was torn about something, Clara could tell. “Can I tell you something personal? I really need to talk to someone.”

“Of course,” she replied without hesitation and granted him a smile. “Shall I make tea?”

When he nodded Clara left him on the sofa and retreated to the back to prepare them both a cup of tea. Somehow she knew that whatever he was going to tell her didn't fall under her usual service, but given his current state Clara decided to stray from her resolution and treat him not like a customer, but like a friend. Fully aware that it was possibly a bad idea, Clara soon made her way back into her office. Whatever it was, she would listen to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your amazing comments :) Now, I'm sure you're curious about John's past. . .

“I'm sorry,” John mumbled when Clara handed him the cup of tea. He wasn't entirely sure how he had ended up here. After closing his practice he had seen the alarm for the meeting and somehow he must have boarded a bus. John had been so lost in his thoughts that he had only realized an hour later that he had been going in the completely wrong direction. Now he was sitting in Clara's office and the last thing on his mind was to plan his wedding.

“Don't apologize,” she said softly and somehow the smile on her face lifted his spirits a little.

“I was gonna go over some possible details for the wedding,” he explained. “But then something came up and I. . . I don't know. I shouldn't bother you with my personal stuff.”

“Nonsense,” Clara interrupted him immediately. “Something's bothering you, so out with it. We can work on your wedding plans after.”

Still John wasn't entirely convinced he could trust her. It was a long story, a complicated one, which was why he couldn't tell Missy or Liz. They wouldn't understand and they would judge him for something that had happened over 20 years ago. Clara, however, seemed reasonable enough to at least listen to him despite being a complete stranger. And he really just wanted to get it off his chest or else he might go crazy.

“I have a daughter,” he blurted out eventually. John took a sip from his tea, quickly realizing that it was still too hot.

Clara scoffed in reply. “So? That's it? You have a daughter and you haven't told your fiancée?”

John swallowed hard and looked right at her. Could he really tell her the whole truth? “I only just found out this morning. She came to my office. Her name is Susan.”

Clara's eyes widened when his words were beginning to sink in and her mouth fell open for just a moment before she regained her posture. “Oh,” she uttered at first. “Wow, I can see why that would shock you. How old is she?”

The truth was out and somehow it felt as if a weight had dropped off his shoulder just by telling it to someone. John would find a way to handle this somehow.

“Uhm, she's in her 20s,” he admitted and finally the tea had cooled down enough for John to drink it. It was good to have a distraction.

John watched as Clara sank deeper into her seat, but he hadn't even started with his story yet. The worst part was still to come and any moment now Clara was going to ask, John was sure of that.

“Why exactly can't you tell your fiancée?” she wanted to know. “I mean, I'm assuming the kid was born before you met her and it's not your fault that you didn't know, was it?”

Slowly John shook his head and sighed. “It's a bit more complicated than that. I don't think Liz would understand.”

When Clara frowned at him in response he knew that there was no way out of this now. He had to confess the to the rest as well. Donna knew, Donna hadn't judged him. Maybe Clara wouldn't either.

“I was still married to River when Susan was born,” John admitted.

“Oh,” she breathed in reply. “I see. You don't want Liz to know that you've been unfaithful to your first wife.”

John shook his head. “It wasn't like that,” he said. “We had been married for a while then and we were both a little bored, a little caught up in our daily routine. It was River who suggested that we could. . . explore other options.”

“You mean like an open relationship?” Clara enquired curiously.

“It was exactly like that,” he confirmed. “River had a couple of adventures, I had a sort of girlfriend. Her name was Patti and she was something of a free spirit. No interest in a proper relationship, that sort of thing. She was fine with our arrangement. But when River and I realized we weren't making anyone any happier with the experiment I ended it with Patti. Never heard from her again.”

“Until today apparently,” she remarked with a shrug.

John nodded gravely. “Liz is not the sort of woman who would understand what River and I did, she's very old fashioned in that sense.”

“Yes, but if you get married at your age, you have to realize that your partner comes with a story and that most likely includes a few mistakes and regrets and things you're not proud of. If you want someone with a clean slate you'll have to marry a virgin,” Clara chuckled.

Finally John managed to crack a smile. He had somehow felt that Clara would understand, that she wouldn't judge what he had done, but Liz certainly would.

“What are you gonna do though?” she wanted to know. “I mean, I doubt you'd want to keep the secret forever. And what about your daughter? Does she want contact? Why did she find you now?”

“She left me her phone number so I can call her when I'm ready,” he sighed. When would that be? “And Patti died a while ago. She found my name in her old diary.”

“You will have a lot of explaining to do,” Clara remarked, followed by a laugh.

John couldn't help it. It was the way Clara reacted to whatever he said, the lightheartedness with which she took the entire situation. It was a little contagious and John started to laugh along with her.

“I have no idea what I'm gonna do,” he scoffed, followed by another laugh. He was laughing about the entire ridiculous situation. “This isn't something you'd expect to happen out of the blue.”

Clara smiled at him in return and even though he couldn't quite explain why, suddenly John felt a lot calmer about the situation. Clara was right. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't known about her, but now that he knew he wanted to talk to Susan once the initial shock had settled.

“I think I should call her, meet with her, find out who she is,” John concluded. “I don't think Susan wants a father, I think she's just curious, which I understand. I'm curious, too.”

“Good,” Clara replied with a nod. “And there's still time to tell your fiancée once you got to know her. No need to rush it.”

 

John inhaled deeply and looked at the woman in front of him. He hadn't wanted to hire Clara as a wedding planner, but right now he thought that it was the best idea his sister had ever had. Here he was, telling her, a complete stranger, his worst secret that he didn't even dare to share with his sister. Clara Oswald was a great deal younger than he was and yet they seemed to have a lot in common. After only a few meetings with her John thought that they could probably become something like friends.

“Thank you,” John said sincerely. “I realize listening to the personal woes of your clients doesn't usually come with the wedding planner package.”

A strange look crossed over her face before she smiled at him once again. “It does for my nice clients,” Clara remarked. “Really, don't worry about it. I imagine the wedding isn't the first thing on your mind right now.”

“No, not exactly,” John confirmed. “But my sister suggested something and I think it's a good idea.”

“What did she suggest?” Clara asked and sipped her own tea.

John sighed. “I have no idea what kind of wedding I want, so she thought you might be able to help me figure it out. By showing me some possible venues or things like that. I mean, you helped me find a suit. Without you that would've probably taken me weeks.”

She nodded in response. “Of course. I can do that. I mean, that's what I'm here for, right?”

John couldn't help but smile at her. Yes, hiring Clara Oswald had been the best idea ever.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments!!!! Now, on to Clara and John being absolutely in denial. . .

“I am going to treat him like any other client,” Clara stated and leaned back into the extremely comfortable seat, staring at the still empty cinema screen ahead. She and Amy were about to watch some romantic comedy her friend had picked and Clara was determined to use the time until the movie started for some girl talk. After all, she would have so sit through some nonsense for two hours.

“Are you now?” Amy chuckled. “I thought you had a crush on him.”

“I don't have a crush on him,” Clara denied instantly. She stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth and started chewing. Maybe she had a little crush on him, but that was all there was to it. “I like his looks and he's nice. That doesn't mean I have a crush.”

“Good,” Amy determined. “Cause he's gonna get married in a few months and _you_ are his wedding planner, not his bride to be.”

She started to chuckle. “Really, the last thing I want is to be in her place.”

“And why is that?”

Clara wanted to clap her hand over her mouth, but seeing as Amy would definitely become curious if she did, Clara chose to eat another handful of popcorn instead. She really couldn't tell Amy about the things she had talked about with John, not his personal details.

“Clara,” her friend hummed curiously, “what are you not telling me?”

“Nothing,” she replied a little too quickly and Clara didn't fail to notice Amy's glance even in the dark cinema. She uttered a sigh. “Okay, we talked. About some personal stuff which I can't tell you. That's all.”

“How personal?” Amy pressed. She wasn't going to give up, Clara could tell.

Clara's head shot around and she glared at her friend. “Very personal. So personal that I can't tell you. Now can we please change the subject?” she growled.

Amy sniggered in response. “I'm not the one who started it,” she retorted. “You so have a crush on him.”

Clara uttered one last growl before the lights around them were dimmed and the screen started to flicker in front of them which provided her with the perfect excuse not to think about John any longer. And she really did spend quite some time thinking about him. It had to stop.

* * *

It had taken him almost a week to gather up his courage to pick up the phone. At first all John had wanted was to send a text message, but eventually he had decided to phone her instead. Now here he was, sitting in a café, drumming on the table with his fingers. He really didn't know what to expect, but when Susan entered through the front door John knew that he was going to find out any moment.

Once his daughter had reached the table John rose from his seat and outstretched his hand, trying very hard to hide the fact that it was shaking. Luckily for him Susan seemed just as nervous.

“Hi,” he uttered. “How are you?”

Susan granted him a smile. “I'm fine. And you?”

John gestured towards the table and they both took a seat while a waiter approached them to take their order. He imagined that it was a good sign they both went for a cup of coffee without cream or sugar. At least one thing they already had in common.

“I'm a bit nervous to be quite honest,” John chuckled after a moment.

“Yeah, me too,” Susan admitted.

John took a moment to look at her and even though he had already noticed the similarities when Susan had visited his office, now he could no longer deny that he was truly sitting in front of Patti's daughter. The dark hair, the dark eyes.

“You look very much like your mother,” John noted after a while.

Susan smiled at him. “She always said I was a pretty version of her, but I thought that Mum was really beautiful.”

The thought of Patti's death tugged at his heart, but John wasn't entirely sure if he should ask. If it was recent, Susan was probably still mourning her and he had no right to butt in.

“It was cancer,” his daughter said as if she had read his thoughts. “She had known for a while, made her peace with it.”

“It can't have been easy for you.”

“I'm not here to talk about Mum's death,” Susan said sharply, but quickly softened her tone. “I'm sorry. I just. . . I found your name in her diary and I was curious what kind of person you are.”

John scoffed and gave a shrug. “I'm actually quite boring,” he replied. “I met your mother a long time ago and I'm not exactly proud of the things I did back then.”

“I know you were married. It said so in her diary. Apparently Mum knew and from the start, but that was the reason she never told you about me. She didn't want to interfere with your life after you had broken up.”

“She should have told me,” John stated. “I would have been there for both of you no matter what.”

Susan nodded in response.

“Your Mum and I. . . we met while my late wife and I had decided to. . . uhm. . . have an open relationship,” he explained carefully.

“I figured,” she replied. “I mean, Mum seemed fine with the arrangement at the time. I don't think she had any regrets.”

“I do,” John said sincerely. “I regret not knowing about you. You're such a bright, young woman and I feel like I should have been there. I understand that Patti didn't want to interfere, but I would have been there. I'd have supported you both with money and whatever you needed. I'd have taken you to the zoo and-”

Susan interrupted him, laughing. “You can still take me to the zoo if you like,” she chuckled. “And I had everything I needed as a child. There is no need to feel guilty. It wasn't your choice and I'm doing fine, so any worry or guilt is unfounded.”

“So, what do you do?” John asked curiously. “I mean, do you go to university or-?”

“I started before Mum got sick, but then I decided to take a break so we could travel together while she was still well enough. I'm gonna go back after the summer,” Susan explained. “What about you though? I mean, I know you're a doctor, but you said your wife died. I told you my Mum met my stepdad when I was little. Did you ever find someone else?”

John granted her a sad smile. “No one like River or Patti,” he said. “But there is someone, yeah.”

For a moment John considered telling her about Liz and the wedding and his doubts, but then he thought better of it. Susan wouldn't be interested and he didn't want to admit that the prospect of getting married to his girlfriend in a big ceremony still didn't appeal to him.

“I have a father,” Susan said after a while, tearing him out of his thoughts. “He's the one that raised me since I was a little child. I don't need another one or money or a card for my birthday.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. If she didn't want him in her life, then why had she agreed to this meeting.

“But I wouldn't mind a friend,” she concluded and granted him a smile. “My Mum wrote a lot about you in her diary, she wrote that you were kind and gentle and funny and that she would never regret the time you two spent together. I think I could use a friend like that in my life. I mean, if you want that.”

John sighed in relief. “I'd want that very much,” he confirmed.

Susan chuckled. “So we'll go to the zoo next weekend?”

“Absolutely!” he said and smiled at her. Even though he had never expected Susan to step into his life and the guilt about not having been there for her would probably not fade for a while, he thought that they had taken the first step in the right direction. He had a daughter and he would be there for her from now on.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *group hug for the amazing commenter* :) Thank you so much!

“How do I look?” John asked proudly and spread his arms, turning on the spot so Clara could get a proper look at his outfit.

 _Handsome. Dashing. Sexy._ Clara could think of a lot of words to describe him, but then she remembered her conversation with Amy and decided not to say them out loud. John was only a client, a client like any other. Just because he was good looking and nice didn't mean that Clara could lose her cool.

“Like a proper magician,” Clara replied instead, giving him a smile. She did not have a crush on him and the fact that she felt butterflies in her stomach whenever they accidentally touched was only due to the fact that he was extremely attractive. That was all there was to it.

“Are you blind?” Jackie's loud voice roared through the shop and a few moments later she came storming towards the changing rooms. She nudged Clara in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“He looks fantastic,” Jackie announced loudly before her mouth curled up into a smirk and she crossed her arms in front of her chest, her eyes never leaving him for one second. “Very handsome. Makes me wanna marry him on the spot.”

John instantly stood still and when Clara looked at his face she noticed that he was blushing mercilessly. Maybe she could make a little joke? Boost his confidence.

“She's right,” Clara agreed. “You look dashing. But unfortunately Jackie is already married, so are you gonna take the suit?”

Finally John raised his head again and looked at her, his cheeks still red. “Yes,” he replied reluctantly, still avoiding to meet Jackie's gaze. “I'll take it. Gotta annoy my sister somehow, right?”

When John walked back into the changing rooms Clara suddenly felt Jackie's hand around her arm and she was pulled a little further away towards the register.

“Why are you being so weird around him?” Jackie Tyler demanded to know.

Clara frowned at her for a moment before she uttered a nervous laugh. “I'm not weird around him. Why would I be?”

“That's exactly what I'm asking you. I've seen you interact with many clients and even on a bad day you never let anything get in the way of being a professional. So what's the matter with this guy?”

“It's nothing,” she reassured her. “Really.”

“Mh,” Jackie uttered, the curious undertone in her voice all too audible. “One could almost think you have a crush on him.”

Clara rolled her eyes in annoyance. “I don't and if you absolutely _have_ to know,” she sighed, “I had an encounter with him before I knew he'd be my new client and it was a tad embarrassing. That's all.”

Still Jackie didn't seem entirely convinced, judging by the look she gave her. Clara groaned in reply.

“Ah, think whatever you want, just send me the bill and-”

“Is there a problem?” John asked and when Clara turned around she saw him walking towards them. The suit, wrapped in a protective garment bag, hung loosely over his arm and he was back to wearing his plaid trousers and hoodie. Still Clara couldn't help but think that he was the most handsome man who had ever stepped into her office.

“No problem, no,” she replied nervously.

“Good,” John replied with a grin. “What do you say, shall we go and get something to eat?”

“Uhm, sure.” Her mouth was much quicker than her brain with all its good intentions when she agreed to his suggestions and for a brief moment Clara wished she could just take it back. Spending more time with him was a bad idea, especially after their last meeting and his confession about having a daughter. So far Clara was the only person who knew about it and that meant they had already overstepped the wedding planner/client boundary. They shouldn't get even closer. They really, really shouldn't. Yet spending time with John just so happened to be the one thing Clara wanted most right now.

“Great. Bye, Jackie. Thanks for the suit.” John smiled at her and started to make his way towards the exit while Jackie threw Clara a curious look.

“Lunch date, huh?” she whispered too quietly for John to hear.

Clara forced a smile. “I'll expect the bill within the next few days,” she said and turned around to join John outside.

* * *

Since it was a warm day and neither of them felt particularly hungry John convinced Clara to get ice cream instead of a proper lunch and a short while later they found themselves sitting in a small park café in front of their large ice cream bowls.

“Thank you for listening to my worries the other day,” John said after a while. Right after his first proper meeting with his daughter his thoughts has turned to Clara and how understanding and kind she had been during their conversation.

“No need to thank me,” she replied sincerely. “Did you phone her?”

John nodded and inhaled deeply. “I even met with her. I think it went quite well. We're gonna go to the zoo together next Sunday.”

“What?” Clara laughed. “To make up for not taking her to the zoo during her childhood?”

John couldn't help but chuckle. “I'm not entirely sure.”

“It's good though,” she concluded. “That you're getting to know each other. I mean, she's probably not in need of a father figure now, but it's nice that you can get together and talk.”

“She said the exact same thing,” he remarked and when John looked up he couldn't help but burst into laughter. Clara, while eating her ice cream, had somehow managed to dunk her nose into the whipped cream.

“What?” she asked, laughing with him even though she seemed unsure what to laugh about.

John didn't exactly know why, but in response he dunked his own nose right into the whipped cream of his ice cream bowl. Clara howled with laughter when he grinned at her.

“That's the new fashion, isn't it?”

She chuckled. “You are a very silly man, John Smith.”

“I take that as a compliment,” he said proudly. Liz never really approve of him being silly and sometimes he did it on purpose just to wind her up. It was nice to just. . . _be_ for once. Then Clara wiped the whipped cream off her nose and he decided to do the same. The silly moment had definitely passed, judging by the look on her face.

“I put a list together of some of the venues you might like,” she said after she had eaten a spoonful of ice cream. “What are you doing on Saturday?”

“Looking at possible venues apparently,” John replied with a smile. He wasn't exactly keen to find a location soon because it made the wedding all the more real, but the idea of spending more time with Clara Oswald did have a certain appeal. And he didn't really have to book any of the venues she suggested. “I hope it's nothing too fancy.”

“Oh, you know, just a few baroque castles and luxury hotels,” she giggled. “Don't worry. I picked some I thought you'd like.”

“What kind of place would you like to get married at?” John asked before he could stop himself.

The smile faded from her lips in an instant and he watched as Clara took another spoonful of ice cream. “I don't want to get married, so I've never really thought about it.”  
John nodded slowly, but somehow he had the feeling that Clara was lying to him. He couldn't say what made him assume that, but for some reason it just made him more determined to find out the real reason and he would. One day he would.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your comments :) I'm sorry (or am I? XD) that I'm torturing you with the slow burn, but I think this would be natural given the situation they're both in :)

Clara had one big problem and that was the inability to say no to a client even though she would have loved to do just exactly that. If she had said no, she would have spared herself hours of walking from bridal shop to bridal shop, looking for the perfect dress that probably didn't even exist. Clara was already at the end of her tether when she finally suggested to visit _The Bride & Groom_, hoping that Jackie would find a dress for this indecisive woman before Clara lost her mind. As much as she liked John, or especially because she liked John, Clara couldn't stand to be in the bride's presence for much longer.

“What do you have for me today, Clara?” Jackie asked with a broad smile when the two women entered the shop and Clara watched Liz scan the place in an instant. She rolled her eyes at her picky client.

“Jackie, this is my client Liz and we're looking for a wedding dress,” she replied, trying very hard not to let her annoyance show. Clara really just wanted this day to be over.

Liz smiled and reached out to take Jackie's hand. “Nice to meet you,” she said politely before having another look around. “Your shop looks lovely. I've been to so many by now, but I just can't find the right dress, you know?”

Jackie nodded understandingly. “Of course. It's a very important decision. Do you have something in particular in mind?”

“Not really, no,” Liz replied reluctantly. “I mean, I don't care too much about the price, but I would like something special.”

“Something special, huh?” Jackie raised her eyebrows. “Never heard a bride say that before. Why don't you have a look around and I'll join you in a minute?”

Liz nodded and stepped further into the shop while Clara felt Jackie's eyes on her, watching her with curiosity. The question was about to follow, she was sure of it.

“That's not John Smith's bride, is it?” she wanted to know.

Clara uttered a sigh. “Unfortunately it is,” she hissed. “Please, tell me you can find a dress for her. I've been to six shops today. Nothing. She just doesn't like anything.”

“Oh dear, that poor man,” Jackie replied in a hushed voice before she bit down on her lip.

“That poor Clara who has to put up with her weird ideas,” she mumbled. While they had been looking for a dress she had asked Liz about her ideas for the wedding and after only a few hours she had determined that they were as far away from John's ideas as humanly possible. They had nothing in common whatsoever.

Suddenly her phone started to vibrate in her pocket and Clara drew it out while Jackie went to join Liz. Her mood was very low today and whatever news this message had for her, Clara doubted it was good. Then she spotted a surprise on her display.

_Do you think it's a good idea to bring a few photos to the meeting with Susan? I still have a couple of pictures of her mum. I'm not sure whether she'd like that._  
_John_

Clara smiled to herself when she saw the message and set out to type a reply immediately.

_Of course! I'm sure she'd like that. P.S. I'm currently wedding dress shopping with your future wife._  
_Clara_

“Oh, I like this one,” Liz exclaimed and when Clara looked up she spotted her holding up a massive gown with more tulle on it than on all the other dresses in the shop combined. Clara groaned internally.

“No, not this one,” Jackie replied and took the dress out of her hand to put it straight back. “It would make you look fat.”

Clara sniggered when the phone buzzed in her hand and she glanced down to read John's new message.

_Please keep her from buying anything too embarrassing._  
_John_

Clara sighed and typed her reply.

_I'm trying my best._  
_Clara_

She exhaled sharply before she slipped the phone back into her pocket. They just needed to find a wedding dress for Liz, just one that she liked. It couldn't be that hard, could it?

* * *

_I now understand why you don't like shopping with your future wife ;)_  
_Clara_

John smiled at the latest message and right now he couldn't wait until Saturday. The thought of spending more time with Clara Oswald was what got him through this boring day at the office and he instantly texted her back although he should be sorting his paperwork instead. Then suddenly the door flung open.

“Message from the future Mrs Smith?” Martha Jones asked while she dropped a small stack of mail on the table.

“Uhm,” John spluttered and instinctively locked his phone. “What makes you think that?”

His receptionist smirked in his direction. “Well, you were smiling at your phone and I don't assume you're the type to watch porn on your lunch break, so. . .”

“It wasn't porn!” he argued immediately, shocked that Martha even considered such a thing. 

His receptionist chuckled in response. “I know that it wasn't, relax,” she told him calmly. “But you were flirting with your sweetheart while you're supposed to look at your patients' test results. I should really confiscate your phone.”

John hadn't been flirting, he really, really hadn't, but he knew better than to tell Martha the truth about his recent text message conversation. Instead he decided to ask her something more useful.

“Where did you and Mickey get married back then?” John wanted to know. “I'm going to look at some possible locations on Saturday and I seriously have no idea what to expect. I never thought about this before.”

Martha smiled at him. “It was a romantic, little house in the countryside just outside of London. I can give you the address if you like.”

John sighed. Romantic wasn't really what he was looking for, was it? He couldn't even say anymore. He would have loved to tell Clara Oswald to just book whatever she thought was right, but then he would rob himself of an opportunity to spend time with her. Why did he want to spend time with her anyway? So he could get her to convince Liz to drop the idea of a fancy wedding? Probably.

“You're really determined to make this wedding special for your fiancée, aren't you?” his receptionist asked him and when John looked up at her he couldn't find it in his heart to tell her the truth. Martha was just like any other woman when it came to weddings and John found himself wondering when the wedding ceremony had become more important than marriage itself, than the promise that two people made each other.

River had understood and Clara probably understood as well, but not Martha and certainly not Liz.

“Well, I shouldn't distract you from your work,” his receptionist concluded when his phone buzzed once again. “Seems like your fiancée already does enough of distracting.”

“Yeah,” John lied and a few moments later Martha retreated to the next room, leaving him alone with his thoughts and doubts and the most recent text message from Clara.

_Are we still on for Saturday?_  
_Clara_

John picked his phone back up and smiled.

_Of course. Where would you like to meet?_  
_John_


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my faithful commenter :D Hope you like their Saturday out together

Clara couldn't have missed John's house even if she had tried because apart from the quite obvious sign that advertised his office, John was already waiting for her by the door. She inhaled deeply when she stopped her car next to the handsome figure leaning against the wall in his usual plaid trousers and hoodie, only today he also wore a pair of Wayfarers on the bridge of his nose. Somehow Clara thought the only thing that was missing was an electric guitar.

John obviously recognized her through the window and stepped into the car, wearing a bright smile on his face.

“Lovely weather for a little trip, isn't it?” he asked excitedly and Clara couldn't deny that his enthusiasm was just a little contagious. She had already been looking forward to this day more than she probably should have.

“You're right,” Clara agreed wholeheartedly. “It really is.”

It was the perfect spring day, sunshine, warm weather and to her surprise there was not a single rain cloud in sight, so Clara decided not to waste any more of it and started the engine.

“You've got a tiny car,” John remarked after a moment, chuckling. “It suits you.”

Clara laughed in response. “It's not even my car. I borrowed it from my friend Amy,” she giggled. “And you've seen her, so you know how funny the idea of Amy in a Mini really is.”

“Oh, your tall, ginger friend? Yeah, I imagine that's quite a sight,” he said. “Where are you taking me, by the way? I don't really know what to expect from today.”

“That is going to be a surprise,” Clara said, smiling at the road ahead. “So better lean back and relax, we're gonna drive out of the city first.”

“Alright,” John said with a sigh. “I'll be patient.”

 

Clara had considered the various venues for a whole week, but she had come up with a pretty good list of three possible locations that she thought John might like and the first one was just outside the city. They talked a lot on their way there, mostly small talk about whatever was on the radio or what it was like for John to have his own practice, but they didn't actually touch the subject of his upcoming wedding even once. Instead he told her about his friend Donna and his sister Missy, about how excited he was to meet with his daughter the next day and in return Clara told him a little more about her job and her best friend. When they finally arrived at Hampton Court House and stepped out of the car, John's mouth fell open.

“Impressive, huh?” Clara asked, smirking in his direction.

“It's big,” he replied, still gawking at the place.

They both turned their heads when the doors opened and a newlywed couple stepped outside, followed by a small crowd of people throwing rice and flower petals at them. Clara noticed that they looked downright happy and somehow her good mood vanished at the thought.

“Well, Liz said she wanted to invite 100 people. That should do,” she explained.

She heard John exhaled sharply next to her. “I'm still hoping she'll change her mind about that,” he admitted. “But you're right. It's pretty. Liz would definitely love this.”

John's head wandered to the couple who had now arrived in front of the house and shared a kiss that was instantly captured by the photographer. Clara's eyes, however, were on John, watching his reaction while the newlyweds displayed their joy for everyone to see. He didn't seem happy. What did she feel? Clara looked back at the bride, her face so happy and joyous. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Clara had dreamed to be like her.

“So, not Hampton Court House then?” she asked John and all of a sudden she was very eager to leave.

He shrugged. “Liz would like it.”

“You don't have to do everything she likes.”

John turned his head and smiled at her. “Let's look at the others, shall we?”

 

When they got back into the car they didn't speak for a while and so Clara drove silently towards Canary Wharf while she thought about what had suddenly brought about the shift in their moods. Clara always hated to watch the actual wedding ceremony because every single one reminded her of how close she had come to being a bride herself and the fact that her perfectly planned wedding had never taken place still stung even a year later. If it hadn't been for that damn accident Clara would have been a married woman by now.  
But what about John? He said he didn't mind, but was he telling the truth? Did he actually want to get married to a woman he seemed to have nothing in common with?

“Would you prefer a modern or a rustic setting for a wedding?” John suddenly asked.

There it was again. One of those questions about what Clara would like for her wedding and whenever it was asked she lied about it. 

“Like I said, I don't know,” Clara replied instinctively. “I don't want to get married.”

“Liar,” he growled and when they stopped at a red light Clara felt his gaze on her. 

She turned her head, throwing him a dark glance. “What makes you think I'm lying when I tell you I don't want to get married?”

John shrugged and now his face turned into a smile. “Just a hunch.”

Clara huffed in response and finally the last traffic light switched back to green and she parked her car in front of the wharf. “Let's have a look at this,” she replied and stepped out of the car before John could say anything else.

 

He didn't seem too impressed when they walked around Trinity Buoy Wharf and John's scepticism was written all over his face.

“You don't like it,” Clara noted.

John inhaled sharply and turned his back on the building to look out on the water. “Imagine a big wedding with 100 people,” he said. “Imagine them drinking a lot and going out to look at the water. Then imagine them falling into the water. I mean, I said I don't want a fuss, but I would like to avoid having to save lives during my own wedding party.”

Clara sighed. “You're really not easy to please, are you?”

John looked at her, chuckling. “I think you'll find I'm quite easy to please.”

In response she raised her eyebrows at him.

“Okay, that came out wrong,” he admitted.

“Yep,” Clara confirmed with a laugh and gave him a soft nudge. Finally the spirits had lifted again. “Come on, let's look at the last place.”

 

The last venue was only a short drive away, yet not as close to the water as the wharf. She knew the owner well and had talked to him on the phone to make sure that they could have a look around the entire place while no one else was there.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” John asked doubtfully as they stepped outside the car. He eyed the weather-beaten facade with its crumbling paint with suspicion.

Clara granted him a smile while she pushed the door open. “Absolutely. Come inside,” she told him and walked ahead.

The owner greeted them with a nod, but he seemed busy, talking to someone on the phone, so Clara just went straight through and led John through the bar.

“Wow,” he uttered and for the first time today Clara thought he was impressed.

“Nice, isn't it?”

John gasped at the sight of the place and Clara couldn't help but marvel at the look no matter of often she came here. It was old, the paint came off the walls, the floor creaked heavily under their feet and yet that was exactly what made Wilton's so very charming.

“It's amazing,” he admitted.

“Wait until you see this,” she announced with a smirk and opened the doors to the auditorium. 

“You can actually book this for weddings?!” John asked in disbelief.

“Yep,” Clara chuckled. “I booked it once or twice already. It's not cheap, but I think it's a wonderful venue.”

“It is.”

Clara smiled when she looked at John and noticed how utterly amazed he was by the sight in front of their eyes. Somehow she had known that Wilton's would hit the bull's eye, that was why she had saved it for last. Right now she even felt a little bit proud.

“So, will you take it?” she asked after a moment.

When John lowered his gaze to look at her his features had grown a little more serious. “If Liz agrees.”

She shrugged. “You could try to make a deal. She can invite 100 people if you celebrate here.”

John smiled at her in reply. “Yeah, maybe.”

Clara couldn't help it. It was this place that put her in the mood when she suddenly spun around on the spot and started to giggle. “Imagine dancing in here though,” she said. “Must be a dream.”

“I can't really dance,” John admitted.

She raised her eyebrows at him in response. “Do we have to get you lessons before the wedding?”

“Possibly.”

In a surge of bravery Clara suddenly stepped forward and took both his hands. She placed one of them on her waist while holding the other in the right position for a dance.

“Lesson number one,” she said. “This is a general dancing pose.”

“I, uhm,” he spluttered. “I know.”

“To be honest, I've always dreamed of dancing in the Tower Ballroom in my hometown.”

“Well, this looks like a ballroom,” John replied hesitantly and then granted her a smile that made her knees grow weak. They were so close, so incredibly close, their bodies almost touching and Clara had to resist the urge to step just a little closer. The butterflies were going haywire in her stomach and her heartbeat seemed out of control. She wanted to kiss him. Right now. Right here. The way he looked at her, that light smile, those dreamy eyes. Clara wanted to kiss him.

“We're not dancing though,” she said breathlessly.

John bent down just a little, that smile still stuck on his lips. _Kiss me_ , she prayed while her entire body seemed electrified by his touch. Yet when he stepped forward John's foot landed on her own and he instantly distanced himself from her.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I think lessons would be a good idea.”

Clara inhaled deeply and quickly averted her eyes. “Yeah,” she admitted. “I think that might be a good idea.”

“So, are there any more venues on your list?” John asked and for a brief moment Clara thought he sounded hopeful. No, she shouldn't try to read anything into it.

“Nope, that's it for today.”

“Would you, uhm,” he hesitated. “Would you like to get something to eat?”

Yes, she would love that, but it was a bad idea. “No, I've got a date with Amy,” Clara lied.

“So, home?”

She nodded and didn't wait for another second to make her way towards the door. This whole day had been a bad idea, spending time with him had been a bad idea. Clara was falling for him and that simply couldn't be. John was going to get married in a few months and her heart would be broken. No, from now on she vowed to keep the contact to him to a minimum.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments :D Hope you aren't too frustrated with our favourite idiots.

“Why are you in such a foul mood?”

Clara turned away from her friend and took a sip from the cheap champagne while she pondered her answer. There were a lot of reasons to be in a foul mood. She hated weddings, but this client had insisted that Clara should attend and even having Amy here to support her didn't make it much better. The venue was awful, the caterer the cheapest Clara had been able to come up with and the DJ looked as if he would rather be far, far away from the music they had him playing. Then there was also the fact that John simply wouldn't leave her head.

Clara hadn't seen him all week and she convinced herself that it was for the best because every time she closed her eyes she remembered how he had held her in the middle of auditorium of Wilton's and how badly she had wanted to kiss him, a man who was as good as married.

“You're thinking about your DILF, aren't you?” Amy chuckled as she pushed herself back into her field of vision.

Clara frowned at her friend. “DILF?”

To her surprise Amy groaned and rolled her eyes. “ _Daddy I'd like to fuck _,” she explained. “Seriously, are you living under a rock?”__

__In response Clara merely sighed and shook her head before she turned around and headed further into the crowd. She didn't want to talk about John now and she certainly wouldn't allow her best friend to refer to him as _daddy_. Or worse, a DILF._ _

__“It's no use denying it,” Amy's singsang voice followed her. “You're into him and you know it. I just want you to know that it's okay. It's been over a year since Danny died.”_ _

__Clara shot back around, glaring at her friend. “You know what's not okay?!” she shouted over the gruesome house music. “That I've picked _him_ to fall for! He's good looking, he's funny, he's nice, we have a lot in common and we passed his office on the way here, so right now I keep picturing him behind his desk just a stone's throw away from me, hoping that he's wondering why I haven't replied to his messages and I know I shouldn't! He's going to get married in a few months and I'm supposed to plan his wedding!”_ _

__Amy smirked at her in response. “He's not married yet.”_ _

__Clara groaned. “I won't even dignify that with an answer.”_ _

__She made another failed attempt to get rid of her friend when Amy suddenly reached for her arm and pulled her out onto the hall, away from the noise and the crowd. Somehow Clara knew that she wouldn't like the rest of the conversation._ _

__“You _like_ him,” Amy insisted. “And from what you've told me he likes you, too.”_ _

__“That's not a good enough reason to try to steal him from his fiancée.”_ _

__“I never said that,” her friend argued. “I just said that it's okay to flirt. It's okay to enjoy it. Yes, he's going to get married, so you know it will never go beyond a flirt. It's the safest way to get back into the game.”_ _

__Clara sighed and looked up at her friend. In a way Amy was right, but if she somehow managed to really fall in love, it would only make everything worse. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to risk it._ _

__“Just don't ignore him,” Amy told her sincerely._ _

__“Fine,” Clara hissed eventually. “I'll text him back on Monday. Happy?”_ _

__Her friend beamed at her._ _

__“And now I'm gonna get a drink that doesn't taste like soap,” Clara determined and left the champagne glass on the nearest surface before she walked back towards the bar._ _

__

__The crowd was as terrible as the rest of the wedding and if asked Clara would never admit that she had organized the wedding even though it wasn't her fault that her clients had chosen the cheapest of everything. Cheap food, cheap location, cheap music, but sadly she had to admit that it suited the crowd. It wasn't exactly the classiest event overall._ _

__To her horror Clara realized that a few intoxicated men were already lurking by the bar and she quickly hurried past them, determined to fetch a drink before any of them could get the wrong idea._ _

__“Hello sweetheart!”_ _

__Too late. With a sigh Clara realized she had already been spotted. Maybe she shouldn't have chosen the red dress. It was damn hard to overlook her in such a bright colour._ _

__“Bride or groom?” the man asked as he pushed himself in her way, swaying heavily on his feet._ _

__“Neither,” she replied gruffly and tried to approach the bar once more, but the man was blocking her path. “Excuse me, my friend is waiting for me.”_ _

__He grinned at her in response. “Can I choose a drink for you?”_ _

__“No, thank you,” Clara said and made another attempt to push past him when the man suddenly reached for her arm._ _

__“Would you maybe like to dance?”_ _

__Clara tried to tear her arm away from him, but the strange man kept a tight grip on her while her anger at the entire situation was beginning to boil up inside of her. She should never have agreed to come here and she would leave as soon as she was rid of the man who didn't seem to be able to take no for answer._ _

__“Actually, I'd really like to be left alone,” she growled and tugged at her arm again. To no avail._ _

__Instead of letting her go the man only pulled her closer._ _

__“Let me go!” she insisted loudly, hoping that someone else might hear and come to her aid, but the music was too loud for anyone to notice them. Clara struggled against his embrace._ _

__“Oh, come on, don't be such a spoilsport.”_ _

__“I said let me go!” Clara hissed and when finally her hand was free she reached out and slapped the man right across the cheek._ _

__He stumbled away from her in an instant, holding the spot where she had hit him and it seemed as if he needed a moment to realized just what had happened. Clara knew she should use the opportunity and get away, but she hesitated for a moment too long._ _

__“Bitch,” the man spat as he came at her again, but this time Clara was prepared. She gave him a strong push, but failed to catch her balance as he shoved her in return and a second later she found herself stumbling backwards. A sharp pain shot through her ankle and then through her head before she fell towards the floor. For a brief moment everything went black._ _

__

__“Clara, are you alright?”_ _

__It was Amy's voice and a second later her friend lifted her head up. The whole world seemed blurry around her._ _

__“Oh my God, you're bleeding!” Amy raised her hand and Clara flinched when she touched her forehead. Red. Her fingers were red._ _

__“Come on,” her friend said as she helped her stand up. Her ankle was still in pain, but Clara tried her best to walk. “Let's get a taxi. That cut needs to be looked at by a doctor.”_ _

__She didn't have the strength to protest when Amy dragged her towards the door, supporting her while she hobbled along. A few moments later Clara finally breathed in the cold night air._ _

__“Are you alright?” Amy asked her once more and this time Clara nodded._ _

__“Yeah,” she breathed in reply. “I think so. Bit dizzy.”_ _

__“I'll take you to a hospital.”_ _

__“No, that won't be necessary,” Clara protested immediately. She was tired and right at this moment she realized that she was shaking._ _

__“It is,” her friend insisted. “You might have a concussion.”_ _

__Clara would have loved to tell Amy that she was being silly, but in the back of her still clouded mind she knew that her friend was probably right, so she gave up her protests for now and allowed Amy to help her. Together they made their way towards the street._ _


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments :D Will the thing you hope for really happen? Clara is stubborn. . . but so is Amy ;-)

The longer they walked the more Clara became aware of the pain as the shock was beginning to wear off. Her ankle was even worse than the throbbing in her temples because she had to use both her feet to keep moving despite Amy's help. The blood was trickling down her face, a clear sign that it had started to seep through the plaster her friend had used to cover her wound. One moment Clara was fine, the next the world suddenly spun around her.

“Stop,” she demanded instantly and Amy came to a halt, supporting her when she felt too dizzy to remain on her own two feet unaided.

“Do you want to sit down?”

Clara nodded before Amy led her to the nearest bollard and Clara sank down, relieved to not have to rely on her feet for a moment. She inhaled deeply. Her hands were still shaking.

“We need to get you to a hospital,” her friend reasoned and drew her phone out of her purse.

“That's really not necessary,” she protested weakly. “I'm fine. I just need to rest.”

“Uh-huh,” Amy uttered as she dialled a number. “And then you wake up dead cause you had a concussion after all. Nope, I'm gonna call us a taxi and take you to the casualty department.”

Clara didn't have the strength to fight her headstrong friend. She was sure she didn't have a concussion, but Amy would never believe her. Besides, a part of her was aware that she was still somewhat in shock, that maybe her ankle was more badly hurt than she thought. But the idea of going to the casualty department in the middle of a Saturday night seemed like a bad one. The place would be swarming with emergencies.

While Amy stepped away from her and left Clara alone with her thoughts, she finally had an opportunity to actually think about what had happened. The man, the moment of helplessness, the fall. Clara had never been shy around men, but for a tiny moment he had scared her. The feeling would pass, she knew that, just as her pain would pass.

“Bad news,” Amy said when she appeared next to her once more. “The next taxi will be here in 40 minutes.”

“What?!”

Her friend gave a shrug. “I tried three companies. I guess it's just a busy Saturday night.”

With a sigh Clara let her shoulders sink and by now she was becoming aware of how cool the night air actually was. She was shivering a little.

“Well, I'm not going back inside,” she determined.

“Hey, didn't you mention your client's practice is just around the corner?”

Clara turned her head and glared at her friend. “No,” she replied. “Don't even think about it. He's probably not even there on a Saturday night!”

“We can try,” Amy argued. “Or do you want to walk all the way to the hospital?”

Clara hesitated, glowering at her friend. “No,” she said meekly. “No, I don't.”

“Come on, let's give it a shot,” she said and gave Clara a soft nudge.

She took a moment to consider her options. To sit here for 40 more minutes in the cold only to drive to the hospital and wait for even longer than that – or to pay John Smith a visit. All of her good intentions about not seeing him outside of her office were forgotten when another shiver ran across her body. No, she didn't want to catch a cold out here.

“Fine,” she eventually hissed. “Let's go, but I'm telling you, he probably isn't there at all.”

Amy chuckled softly as she helped Clara back on her feet. “We'll see about that.”

* * *

For some reason his thoughts were with Clara and once again John found himself checking his phone despite already knowing he would find no new messages from her on his display. She hadn't replied for almost a week and for days John had been wondering whether he had said or done something wrong. He often did that, alienating people with what he said even though he never actually meant to insult anyone – except if they really deserved it. But it had gone well on Saturday, hadn't it? At least John couldn't think of any reason why Clara should ignore him. And, above all, he really wanted to talk to her about his second meeting with Susan. As soon as Donna returned from her holiday he would confide her in, but until that happened he had only Clara to talk to.

When the phone rang and Liz' number popped up on the screen, John reached for it reluctantly, already knowing why his fiancée was calling.

“Yes?”

“You're still in your office?” Liz asked and the disappointment was audible in her voice.

John sighed. “I'm sorry. Missy showed up after my appointments and I still haven't finished the paperwork.”

“You're gonna spend the night there _again_?”

This time she didn't sound disappointed, but mad.

“I have to finish the paperwork either today or tomorrow,” he explained calmly. “I have-”

“I never see you anymore,” she complained loudly. “I thought the planning of the wedding would help us spend more time together, but I haven't had a whole weekend with you in weeks!”

“I'm sorry,” John apologized even though it wasn't quite sincere. There was a reason he kept avoiding Liz. He didn't want to talk about the upcoming wedding until he had convinced her to drop the idea of a huge event. And there was still the matter of Susan – of whom John hadn't told her yet. “How about I take you to lunch tomorrow? A nice lunch? Wherever you want?”

Liz remained quiet for a moment and John hoped that the gesture would soften her mood. She could be so unbearable when she was angry.

“I want a picnic in Hyde Park,” she demanded.

John could only just hold back a groan. He hated picnics, loathed them. Whatever was supposed to be romantic about eating food on the dirty ground, John didn't get it, but he wanted to make her happy. “Okay,” he agreed. “I'll bring the food, you bring the blankets.”

“Alright, my love,” Liz replied and John could hear the smile in her voice. Luckily for him she could never stay mad at him for long.

“I've got to finish the paperwork now,” he said. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yes. Love you!”

“Love you, too,” he mumbled and then hung up.

 

John was just about to bend back down over his patients' files and finally focus on his work when suddenly the doorbell rang. He raised his head and frowned at the clock on his desk. It was almost midnight. Who would visit him at midnight?

With a sigh John rose from his desk and made his way towards it door, telling himself that it was probably his sister who had merely left something at his place, but when he reached for the handle and opened the door, John found a sight he hadn't expected at all.

“Clara,” he blurted out immediately, but then he noticed the blood on her face and the way her friend was holding her up. For a brief moment he thought his heart had stopped. Panic rose up inside of him. “Are you alright?!

“Can we come in?” her friend asked him.

Once again John looked into Clara's pale face and he knew one thing for certain: she needed help. John held the door open a little wider and gestured towards them to come inside.

“Of course.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the sweet comments :) Now here's the moment you've been waiting for:

As he looked at Clara, sitting on his examination table, her tiny legs dangling in the air, her gaze lost somewhere in the room, John suddenly felt at a loss. He had treated countless of patients in his life and he had seen injuries like hers so many times and yet something was different now, something wasn't right and John wished he could say what that was. Then he finally noticed it.

Clara was shivering in her flimsy, red dress and John quickly unzipped his hoodie and finally stepped closer to drape it around her shoulders.

“Thanks,” she uttered softly, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

Something was different. What was is? Why couldn't he just get it over with and examine her like any other patient? Yet John didn't even know where to start.

“How did this happen?” he eventually asked.

Clara pulled the hoodie a little closer around her body and cleared her throat. “I was at a client's wedding and got into a. . . uhm. . . bit of a row with another guest.”

“ _What?!_ ”

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “He was drunk, he didn't take no for an answer. There was some shoving and I hit my head. Amy insisted on bringing me here,” she explained gruffly and nodded towards the door where her friend was waiting outside. “We couldn't get a taxi to take us to a hospital. I'm sorry that we're disturbing you so late.”

John ignored the apology as he stepped closer and finally took a look at the improvised plaster that was already red with a blood. “A man did this?!” he asked, still somewhat in shock over the revelation and then it finally dawned on him.

He was worried. He had been worried about her from the moment he had opened the door and now that John knew how the wounds had been inflicted, he was also angry.

“Can we please not talk about it?” Clara asked, her annoyance showing, but John didn't have the slightest intention to drop the matter. He just needed to know.

“He didn't. . . try anything, did he?”

Clara shook her head. “He pulled me against his chest, I pushed him away,” she sighed. “Somehow I must have fallen and hit my head in the process, I'm not sure. It's all a bit fuzzy.”

“Alright,” John said and granted Clara a smile. He had to put his own feelings aside for now until he could make sure that she was okay. “I'm going to take a look at that cut.”

When Clara straightened her back John carefully began to peel the plaster off her skin and to his great relief he found that the wound had stopped bleeding by now.

“How bad is it?” she wanted to know.

John reached for the antiseptic and a swab and instantly set out to clean it. “Not bad at all,” he reassured her. “Head wounds bleed like crazy at first, but it already stopped. I'm just going to clean it and give you a new plaster.”

“That's a relie- _ouch_!” Clara hissed when he sprayed the antiseptic on her forehead.

“Almost done,” John replied shortly before he put a new plaster over the wound. “There. That's one thing taken care of.”

When he bent down to be at eye level with her Clara finally smiled at him for the first time since she had stepped inside his office. Seeing that look of gratefulness in her eyes warmed his heart, but he didn't quite feel at ease yet.

“You may have a concussion, Clara,” he told her. “I need to have a closer a look.”

“Oh, uhm.” The smile faded from her lips. “Alright.”

As carefully as he could John cupped her face in his hands and bent forward just a little. Her skin felt so soft and when he looked into her eyes John found that they were the darkest, warmest brown he had ever seen. Beautiful, big eyes.

Then he remembered what he had meant to do. “Could you look left and right for me?” he asked her.

Clara did as he asked her and John proceeded to check for the signs and asked her all the questions he thought were relevant. The longer their conversation went on the more relaxed John grew and his worry abated a little. Even her foot wasn't as badly hurt as he had initially thought, so he merely wrapped it in a loose bandage and told her to rest for a while.

“You have a light concussion,” he concluded eventually, “so you'll have to take it easy for the next few days.”

Clara nodded in response and John reached out to hold her hand as he sat down next to her, only now realizing that she was still trembling a little.

“Are you still cold?” John wanted to know, suddenly panicked because he thought he might have missed something. Clara would be alright, wouldn't she?

“No, it's-” she paused and then turned her head and looked straight at him. “The whole evening was just a little. . . unpleasant. I wasn't that scared when it happened, but now I feel-”

“Helpless?”

Again she nodded and John gave her hand a soft squeeze. The anger was back, but he wasn't going to let it show. It was the last thing Clara needed right now.

“You're safe now,” he promised instead. “And if you like, you and your friend can stay here for the night.”

Clara raised her eyebrows doubtfully. “Where? In your office?”

John smiled at her. “I have a flat upstairs. You two can have the bed and I'll give you something for the pain and to help you sleep. You need rest now.”

She seemed to consider it for a moment and all of a sudden John felt stupid for even suggesting it. Clara had just been attacked by a strange man, surely she wouldn't want to spend the night at another strange man's flat. It had been a silly thing to even suggest.

“Alright,” she agreed to his surprise and granted him a light smile in return. “You're right. I'm exhausted. I just want to lie down and close my eyes and who knows when the next taxi will be available.”

“Good,” he concluded. “Why don't you tell your friend while I fetch the meds?”

 

A short while later John led the two women upstairs into his small bachelor pad, praying to all the known Gods in the universe that he had remembered to put his dirty pants into the hamper. Luckily the universe seemed to be on his side tonight because even though the place wasn't spotless, it was certainly clean enough to let people inside and John instantly showed them into the bedroom.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” he said with a smile.

“Thank you,” Amy replied happily as she helped Clara towards the bed. Her foot would be better tomorrow after a few hours of rest and so would her head. “The taxi situation is crazy tonight. We probably wouldn't have gotten home until 3.”

“No need to thank me,” he explained. “I'm a doctor, helping people is my job.”

“Where will you sleep?” Clara suddenly asked. She looked dead tired and the meds he had given her were probably already kicking in.

John shrugged. “I don't need much sleep. Years of training thanks to the night shifts at the hospital,” he laughed. “Besides, I've got a comfy sofa.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, he's sure,” her friend interrupted her before she turned towards John again. “Thanks. You're officially our hero.”

“Oh, I'm not a hero,” he replied, but still he felt himself blush a little. It was this kind of attention from women that always made him a little bit flustered and the idea of Clara taking him for a hero was a strange, but not entirely unwelcome one. No, he shouldn't even entertain that notion. “Sleep well.”

“Good night,” Clara and Amy replied in unison.

 

Yet even after they had gone to sleep John didn't find any rest. He tried lying down on the sofa and closing his eyes, he tried reading a book, he tried listening to his favourite music on his headphones and when everything else failed he got back up and started to pace the lounge. Something was off, something was bothering him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

When it was already past 2 am, John finally got up and peeked through the crack in the door to where both Clara and Amy were sleeping peacefully in his bed and once again John felt reassured. Clara was going to be fine. But there was something else that he felt, something he hadn't been aware of until now and it was the reason he was so angry about what had happened to Clara tonight: he liked her. John liked Clara. A lot.

The idea that someone had touched her, that someone had hurt her wouldn't let him find peace, but there was one thing he could do about it. John could make sure that nothing would happen to her while she was under his roof. 

Quietly he closed the door and walked back towards the sofa and decided that tomorrow he would make sure that her ankle and head were taken care of. That was the least he could do.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your lovely comments :) John and Clara are getting closer, but there is still Liz to think about. . .

John jerked awake in an instant when someone nudged him. His heart was pounding from the shock and for a moment he had no idea what was going on. For some reason, he had fallen asleep on the sofa and right now his brain was unable to put the pieces of last night back together. Then he heard a voice.

“I have to leave now,” a woman whispered and when John turned around and looked into the redhead's face, it all came back to him. Clara and Amy had spent the night here. “I have a lunch date that I can't miss, but I didn't wanna wake Clara. Can I leave her with you?”

There was a hint of doubt in her voice and John slowly scrambled into a sitting position to have a look at the clock. 8 am. No, Clara wouldn't be up yet after the events of last night. She needed her rest.

“Of course,” John reassured her as he sat up.

Still Amy didn't seem entirely convinced when she raised her eyebrows at him. John could tell that she wasn't at ease leaving her best friend with a stranger.

“Don't worry,” he said quietly. “Clara is in safe hands and you're right. Let her sleep for a while longer. She needs it. I'll drive her home after breakfast.”

In response Amy raised her index finger as a warning. “If anything happens to her, I know where you live.”

“Got it,” he said with a nod.

“Alright,” Clara's friend agreed eventually. “Tell Clara I have a meeting with my publisher, but I'll stop by her place in the afternoon. And again, thank you for last night.”

“Don't mention it,” John said with a smile.

 

Once Amy had left his flat John finally rose from the sofa for good. He didn't exactly feel rested after only getting four hours of sleep, but there was no way he could fall back asleep now, so he decided to make the best of today.

After a quick glance into the bedroom John could confirm that Clara was indeed still fast asleep, wrapped in his hoodie and the duvet. With a smile, he closed the door and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Once he had changed out of yesterday's clothes and put on a fresh t-shirt, John decided that it was time to prepare coffee and breakfast. He wasn't normally the type for that and usually only started his day with a cup of coffee, but John figured that Clara might need it. He would keep the promise he had made himself and Amy. He would take care of Clara as best as he could.

* * *

The bed was warm and comfortable and Clara found herself surrounded by a wonderful scent that she couldn't quite place in her sleepy state. Yet there was still something bugging her, a dull, throbbing headache that didn't seem to know where exactly it wanted to settle. It felt as if her entire skull was stuck in a jaw vice. Then Clara decided to open her eyes.

It took her a moment to realize where she was and the memories of last night came back to her in an instant. The wedding, the fight with the other guest, John. At least there was a good reason for her headache. When she turned around in bed to wake Amy up, Clara was surprised to find it empty next to her.

Carefully she climbed out of bed and pulled the borrowed hoodie closer around her body as she made her into the lounge and only now she realized just what that lovely scent was and where it was coming from: John's hoodie and the remnants of his aftershave that clung to it. Clara inhaled it deeply before she finally spotted the man himself.

John was busy at the stove, probably preparing breakfast for them, but her friend was nowhere to be seen. Using the moment he was unaware of her presence, Clara took a look around the place and instantly spotted something she really should have seen coming.

“I knew it,” she said, chuckling.

John spun around on his heels, obviously startled by her sudden appearance. “Uhm,” he spluttered, still holding up the spatula, “knew what?”

Clara granted him a smile and nodded towards the electric guitar that was leaned against the wall. “The guitar. I don't know, I just sort of knew you played. Suits the plaid trousers and the hoodie, I guess.”

“Liz doesn't like it,” John explained. “So I have to keep it here.”

Clara decided to ignore the fact that he and Liz didn't seem to have anything in common at all because false hope was the last thing she needed, especially after what had happened last night, so instead she walked up to him and sank down on one of the kitchen chairs.

“Amy said she had an appointment, a lunch of some sort,” he told her after a moment while he turned his attention to the contents of the frying pan. “I hope you're not mad that she left you with me. If it's any consolation, she threatened me if I hurt you.”

She chuckled in response, knowing that John wouldn't even dream of hurting her in any way, not after last night. Clara had been so against the idea of coming here and even now she couldn't decide whether it had been a wise option or not. Yes, John had taken care of her wounds and offered them a place to sleep, that was more than any other doctor would have done, but when Clara closed her eyes she thought she could still feel the gentle caress of his hands tingling on her skin. Being around him was a guilty pleasure she really shouldn't indulge in.

“Thank you for last night,” Clara said sincerely.

“Anytime,” John replied and shot her a smile over his shoulder. “How are you feeling today?”

“The ankle is a little better,” she explained. “Head. . . not so much.”

“It's gonna take a few days for the headache to go away. I can give you some painkillers to take home, but the rest will take time,” he said, but all of a sudden there was a strange undertone in his voice that Clara couldn't quite place. 

Yet before she could ask about it John switched off the stove and reached into his cupboard for cups and plates. A few moments later he presented her with a delicious looking omelette and a cup of strong, black coffee. Somehow it seemed like exactly the things she needed right now.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely and took a sip from her coffee. It was hot and strong, just like she had expected, just the way she liked it. But still, John seemed to be in a strange mood even after he had taken the first few bites of his breakfast. “Is everything alright? I'm not imposing on you, am I? If you want me to leave-”

“That's not it,” he cut her off and his gaze dropped to his plate.

“What is it?” Clara enquired curiously.

John raised his head to look at her, his eyebrows knitted. “I'm angry.”

“At me?”

“No, not at you,” John replied instantly. “At the man who hurt you.”

Clara frowned at him in response. She hadn't seen that coming and she didn't quite understand why he was the one being angry when she was starting to put the whole matter behind herself. She had been scared last night, she had felt helpless and weak, but by now, thanks to his care, the feeling had begun to fade.

“I hate his sort,” John spat to her surprise and there was a fierceness in his voice that she had never seen before. “Disrespecting and hurting women, I can't stand it. I would have punched the guy in the face.”

Clara couldn't help but chuckle. “Well, that would've turned the wedding into something very special for the bride and groom. A brawl during the reception.”

“It's not funny.” John shot her a dark look. “Something worse could have happened. He could have-”

“Nothing happened, John,” Clara reassured him. “Nothing would have happened. We were surrounded by people, someone would have stepped in. Or I would have punched him in the face.”

Still John only growled in reply and the next thing that came out of her mouth was really not planned, but she spoke the words before she could stop herself.

“You could come to the next wedding with me if you like. Be my protector,” she suggested and instantly wanted to kick herself for saying that out loud. Clara really shouldn't spend any more time with John than was absolutely necessary, but that didn't change the fact that she wanted to – and that the suggestion was already out in the open now.

John looked at her, obviously surprised.

Clara quickly cleared her throat. “My friend Rose is going to get married in a few weeks. I organized the wedding,” she explained quickly. “I was thinking that maybe you'd like to see one in action. See if you like the food or the DJ.”

After the latest addition it didn't seem like such a crazy idea anymore even though she had never actually taken a client to a wedding, but it did sound reasonable, didn't it? John could gather ideas for his own ceremony and Clara got to take him with her. No matter how she looked at it, it was still a bad plan.

“Alright,” John agreed to her surprise even though he still looked a little startled. “That sounds like a good plan.”

No, it didn't. It really, really didn't. It sounded like the worst possible idea she had ever had, but still, Clara smiled at him in response. She would take John to a wedding. As her date. There was no way this wouldn't blow up in her face.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments :) I see you're looking forward to their date just as much as John and Clara. However, that'll have to wait for a bit. . .

John stopped the car in front of the big apartment complex and looked up at the tall building in front of him. For some reason he found himself wondering what the inside of Clara's flat looked like, but he knew that his curiosity would never be satisfied. Her flat was none of his business whatsoever.

“You've got the painkillers and a new plaster, but if you feel like your headache is getting worse or you feel dizzy or nauseous, you either call me or go straight to the hospital, okay?” John asked her and raised his eyebrows when Clara didn't answer straight away.

She smiled at him in response, a sweet and grateful expression on her face. “Yes, doctor,” she chuckled. “Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'll call you next week with suggestions for the catering.”

“No,” John insisted strictly, finally having found a good reason to not have to think about wedding plans for a while. “Next week you'll rest and that's an order! You'll stay on the sofa with a good book, some tea and your favourite TV show. I don't wanna see you anywhere near your office. Even a mild concussion needs rest.”

“Fine,” Clara growled in reply and threw him a glance that was somehow dark and amused at the same time. It was at moments like this that John wished he knew what she was thinking. “I'll call you the week after.”

“That's better,” he replied and what happened after went down too fast for him to comprehend when Clara suddenly bent forward and her lips collided with his cheek as she placed a long, soft kiss on his skin. John felt as if he was frozen to the spot while they touched and his heart started hammering inside his chest at the simple caress. Just when he realized that he was enjoying her touch Clara pulled away and it was over.

“Thank you,” she told him again while she unzipped his hoodie to give it back to him. “You're officially the best doctor ever.”

“Uhm,” he stammered, still completely lost for words after what had happened. “Thanks.”  
Clara opened the car door, but still threw him a bright smile. “Have a nice Sunday.”

It was then that it suddenly hit him and his heart instantly sank into his boots. It was Sunday. He had a picnic date with Liz and he was already running late.

* * *

His fiancée was in a foul mood and John's spirit wasn't exactly exuberant either when they spread the blankets in the middle of Hyde Park among all the other picnickers and John wrinkled his nose at them. He still didn't understand the idea of eating food on the dirty ground where a dog had probably done its business only minutes ago. It certainly smelled like it.

“You work too much,” Liz told him once they had sat down on the blanket. Her voice was ice cold.

“I'm not working any more or less than I usually do,” he replied. “It's just that right now a lot of colleagues are on holiday and their patients come to me instead. It will pass.”

“I just want one weekend with you,” she pleaded. “Is that too much to ask?”

John sighed. “No, of course not.”

His fiancée looked at him and it was as if her eyes were trying to look straight into his soul where he hid his true feelings for their upcoming wedding and the secret daughter he was still keeping from her. Liz couldn't know about either of those.

“I still think we should look for a house closer to your practice,” she suggested once again. “That way you could at least come home after work. I don't like the idea of my fiancé letting himself go in his little bachelor pad.”

“I'm not letting myself go,” he argued, yet in response, Liz only dropped her gaze to his plaid trousers. They were the comfiest pair he owned and she had always hated them. “And I just want you to know that my _bachelor pad_ is as clean as it gets.”

Liz sighed.

“We'll have the next weekend, I promise,” he said and he really meant it. There was nothing that could come between him and his weekend off. John was going to meet with Susan on Friday for a quick cup of coffee before she went to visit some of her friends in Wales for a week, he would tell Missy not to disturb him and Clara was still supposed to rest. He had all the time in the world and he would spend it with his fiancée.

Then suddenly the phone rang in his pocket and Liz groaned before he had even reached for it.

“Must you answer?” she asked angrily, but despite her mood, John pulled the phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. Finally, he saw the name he had been longing to see for days. _Donna_.

“It's Donna,” he told her. I”ll make it quick.”

 

“Hey, back on the island at last?” he greeted her happily.

“Yes, you impatient cotton bud,” his best friend replied, using her favourite insult for him. Donna had been making fun of his hair for years and by now he refused to cut it just to spite her. “Whats the matter? You left me a new voicemail every other day!”

“Oh, you've got much to tell me, yeah? Sounds like an amazing holiday,” he replied, feigning excitement. John couldn't let Liz know how desperate he was to talk to Donna or else she might suspect that something was wrong. “Of course we should meet up.”

“ _What?!_ ”

“Yes, tomorrow sounds perfect. Of course I can come to your place,” John told her and threw a smile in Liz' direction. He desperately needed to talk to his best friend. There were so many things he was dying to get off his chest. His daughter Susan. All the things he had talked about with Clara.

“Have you lost your marbles, John? Is that it?” Donna asked in return, her voice betraying all of her confusion.

“I'll stop by after work tomorrow. Shall I bring something?”

“Alright, you loon. See you tomorrow. Bring whatever you want,” she replied and then the line went dead as she hung up.

Feeling a sense of relief, John slipped the phone back into his pocket, but when he noticed Liz' angry stare he quickly drew it out once more and switched it off. That finally brought the smile back to her face.

“So, next weekend,” he began cheerfully. “Any plans?”

The smile on her face widened. “I'm sure I can think of something,” Liz replied and leaned her head against his shoulder with a sigh. “But this is a very good start.”

John leaned back as well and took a deep breath. Maybe the idea of having a picnic hadn't been such a shabby one he thought as he reached for a grape and stuffed it into his mouth. As for the rest, that would fall into place somehow. John was sure of it.

Yet as he sat there with Liz by his side, his thoughts trailed back to the events of last night and the following morning, back to Clara and everything she had said. He was going to attend a wedding with her and it suddenly struck him that he had no idea how to dance. He definitely needed to work on that before he made another attempt at dancing with Clara.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your sweet, sweet comments :) Have I mentioned lately that they always bring a smile to my face?

“Oh my God,” Donna screeched loudly, gawking at him. “You dog!”

John rolled his eyes and quietly sipped his beer while he was wondering why on earth he had been dying to talk to his best friend. He had known her for decades, he should have seen that reaction coming.

“John Smith fathered a kid while he was still married!”

“Yes,” he growled, “and the adultery was consensual. Now can we get back to the real problem?”

Donna's features relaxed as she plopped down on the chair next to him and she reached into the six-pack he had brought to retrieve a bottle of beer for herself.

“Who knows about this?” she wanted to know, her voice now calmer. That was the Donna he needed to talk to. Calm, clever, kind Donna.

“No one,” he replied quietly.

Again Donna's mouth fell open, but she quickly contained herself. “You haven't told Liz? Not even Missy? You tell Missy _everything_!”

John sighed. “Well, uhm, I sort of told the wedding planner.”

The next thing that crossed his friend's face was a frown. “The wedding planner?”

“Susan came to see me right before I was going to meet with Clara. I was. . . I don't know, I just had to talk to someone. It helped. Clara was very kind and understanding.”

Donna raised her eyebrows at him. “She understood that you consensually cheated on your wife and made a kid?”

He glowered at her in response, but his features soon softened when his mind wandered back to Clara and their conversations. By now she was much more than just a wedding planner to him. She was almost a friend. “Clara and I are very much alike, I think,” John said thoughtfully.

“That's all very well, but what about Liz? Are you gonna keep this from her?”

“Yes,” he replied instantly, but then felt the need to correct himself. “No.”

His friend's eyebrows were raised even higher.

“I don't know,” he admitted after a sharp intake of breath. “Liz is not going to understand it.”

“Are you afraid she's gonna cancel the wedding?”

John snorted. If only. “No, I don't think anything is going to make her cancel the wedding,” he explained and John knew that he was right. Liz was going to marry him and nothing could stop it and if it was up to her the ceremony would be the biggest England had seen since the last royal wedding. “But I think she might try to keep me from establishing a relationship with Susan.”

“And that's what you want? Have a relationship with her?” Donna wanted to know. “I mean, you said she had a father. I wouldn't blame you if either of you said you didn't want anything to do the other.”

“Of course I want a relationship with her!” John replied without even thinking about it further. “Susan is a marvellous young woman. And I'm not trying to be her father. I just want to get to know her.”

“Then do that,” his best friend told him and sipped her beer. “And once you got to know her better you can tell Liz and pretend you only just found out. After the wedding of course.”

John frowned at her. “You're telling me to lie to my future wife?”

“I mean, you're technically lying to her already,” she said with a shrug, but then his friend leaned forward a little, eyeing him closely. John could feel that the topic was about to shift. “How are the wedding plans going so far?”

After a long sigh, John emptied his beer and set the bottle back down. How was he going to explain all of this to Donna without sounding like a complete arse? It wasn't that he didn't want Liz to have a nice wedding, it was just that what she wanted seemed to be the complete opposite of what John wanted. “We're getting there,” he lied eventually.

Yet Donna knew him too well as to believe him. “You're fighting over every detail, aren't you?”

The look John threw her seemed to be enough for Donna to understand, but it suddenly reminded him of something he had meant to ask her all evening. “You can dance, right?”

“If by dance you mean I took three classes in an attempt to meet a man, then yes, I can. Why?” she enquired. “I'm assuming you and Liz will take lessons before the big day?”

“It's not about that.” John hesitated, knowing how strange it sounded. “I'm going to attend a wedding with Clara in a few weeks. She wants to take me to see whether I like the catering and the DJ, you know, gather some ideas.”

“And you want to dance with her?” Donna's eyes widened a little and John spotted a tiny hint of amusement in them.

“I just don't want to make a fool of myself, that's all,” he half growled.

Still, Donna didn't seem entirely convinced by the reason he gave her and she cocked her eyebrows at him. “Tell me, this wedding planner, what does she look like?”

John hesitated, for a moment quite taken aback by her question and he wasn't entirely sure was he was supposed to reply to that. “Uhm, she's quite small. Brown hair, eyes,” he paused, lowering his gaze. “Pretty.”

“Uh-huh,” his friend hummed. “You're smitten with her.”

He raised his head to look at Donna and found his friend smirking at him. “I am not!” he protested. “Clara is way too young for me.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Donna chuckled. “You still have a tiny, little crush. Admit it!”

“No,” John growled.

“It's understandable. I mean, she's young and pretty and nice and apparently, you have a lot in common. Except that she's your _wedding planner_!”

“Will you teach me how to dance or not?” John barked at her, irritated by the sudden topic shift. He wasn't smitten with Clara and he certainly didn't have a crush on her, a woman that was young enough to be his daughter. No, that was out of the question.

“Fine, I'll teach you,” Donna agreed eventually.

“Thanks,” John replied and reached for his beer, only to realize that the bottle was empty and it no longer served as a proper distraction. He didn't have a crush on Clara. He really, really didn't.

* * *

“Okay, let's see,” Amy said. “Tea, phone, Jane Austen novel, blanket. Looks like you've got everything.”

“I'm better already,” Clara protested in a vain attempt to get her friend to back off. It was no use. “You can stop mothering me.”

“Is your headache gone?” her friend threw her an expectant glance.

“Well, no.” She sighed. “But it's better and look, I'm resting.”

Clara pointed at her feet that lay on her sofa in a horizontal position, a blanket draped over them. She had been resting for two whole days and slowly but surely she was started to get a little bored. And it didn't help at all that her hurting head kept trying to conjure up the memory of John and how he had taken care of her.

“Just checking,” Amy replied.

Clara was about to open her mouth and tell her friend that all her worrying was entirely unnecessary when the phone next to her started to ring and tore her out of her thoughts. When she looked at the screen she recognized John's number. Swiftly, before Amy spotted it, Clara reached for the device and opened his message.

_Hey, just wanted to ask how you're feeling? How's the head and ankle?_  
_John_

She couldn't help but smile at the message, but Clara also grew increasingly aware that her friend Amy was watching her. She quickly dropped the phone without even writing a reply.

“You should text him back,” Amy told her. “Or he'll be worried and show up here.”

Clara shot her friend a dark look in response.

“Unless you want him to show up here, in which case keep ignoring him.”

“He doesn't even know where in this apartment complex I live,” she argued.

However, Amy shrugged. “He does now after I filled out the form with your details on Saturday.”

With a groan, Clara reached for her phone again and decided to reply to his message because somehow she knew that Amy was right and that if he got truly worried, he would visit her.

_I'm getting better, thanks to you :) Resting like you told me to._  
_Clara_

After Clara had locked her phone and discarded it on the table once again she suddenly found herself wondering what would happen if he indeed visited her. She would like that, wouldn't she? And that was exactly why it was a bad idea. Yet if John asked, Clara knew that she would never find it in her heart to say no.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the sweet comments :) A kiss at Rose's wedding? Mhhh, we'll see about that. . .

Clara rested for most of the week, just like John had told her to, yet on Thursday she felt too bored to continue her TV show marathon and decided that she could just as well set up her office at home and at least make a couple of phone calls. Yet she didn't come as far as she would have liked when the door bell interrupted her. Clara frowned at the clock on her wall because she had no idea who could disturb her at 12 pm.

She trudged towards the door and stopped in front of the mirror, giving her hair a good ruffle even though it was useless move to improve her looks. It wouldn't work with her pyjama pants and the old, faded t-shirt.

“Matching clothes?” John Smith beamed at her when she opened the door and looked down on her attire.

Clara blushed in an instant. She had dutifully replied to all of his messages, telling him that her head and ankle were improving, telling him that she was feeling better already. She really hadn't expected him to show up at this point.

“Uhm,” she spluttered, but John interrupted her by holding up a bag labelled “Pret-A-Manger” and her features softened a little.

“I'm gonna meet Susan for lunch and I thought I'd stop by and bring you a little something as well, seeing as you're still confined to the sofa,” he told her kindly.

In response Clara couldn't help but smile while she gestured for him to come inside and the longer she thought about it, the less embarrassing her attired seemed. After all, John was right, they did wear watching outfits – only he wore his in broad daylight.

“That's sweet of you,” she remarked when they stepped through into the kitchen. “Can I offer you a cup of tea or coffee?”

John glanced briefly at his watch, then smiled. “Sure, there's still time for a cup of tea.”

Clara spun around on her heels, grinning to herself while she opened her cupboard to retrieve two of her best mugs. It had been a long time since a man had brought her lunch and stopped by just to see how she was doing and right now she thought that maybe Amy was right. There was no harm in enjoying his innocent attention.

“Thank you. But you didn't just come here to bring me lunch, did you?” Clara wanted to know while she was handed a delicious looking sandwich. She briefly placed it aside to switch on the kettle.

John granted her a shy smile. “Not entirely, no,” he admitted. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I'm better,” she replied earnestly and when she spotted that doubtful look on his face, Clara started to laugh. “Really, I am! The headache is gone and my ankle is well enough to walk around the flat. I'll be fine.”

John stepped a little closer and it took Clara a moment to realize what he was doing as he inspected the cut on her forehead. She had taken the plaster off the day before because the wound had become an itching nuisance under it. She had taken that as a sign that it was healing.

“It's healing well,” he confirmed after a moment and looked right at her, still smiling a little. That look made her stomach tingle for some reason.

Then the kettle switched off behind her and Clara was glad for the distraction when she poured them both a cup of tea and handed one of them to John.

“So, erm, this wedding you're going to take me to. When is it?” he asked after accepting the tea thankfully.

“It's three weeks from tomorrow,” Clara explained. She had invited him on a whim and he had accepted without ever hearing the full details. Clara thought that maybe now was the time to fill him in – not on everything, of course, because that would most certainly change his mind.

“On a Friday?”

“Not quite,” she replied and sank down on one of her kitchen chairs. When she pointed towards the other one, John took a seat as well. “The ceremony is Saturday morning, but most of the guests will arrive on Friday to settle into the castle and there'll be a little pre-wedding party.”

“Castle?” John raised his eyebrows.

She nodded. “It's gonna take place at a beautiful castle just outside London. It serves as a hotel, too, so we don't have to worry about that. Anyway, arrival is on Friday, the ceremony is on Saturday and then we leave whatever time we like on Sunday.”

John gawked at her. “So, it's a three-day event?”

“Basically,” Clara told him sheepishly. “Is that too much? But since it's two parties you'll get to see two kinds of catering and music. I think it would be good.”

To her surprise John shrugged and smiled at her. “That sounds good to me. Also sounds like one hell of a wedding.”

Clara grinned at him in reply. “Only the best for my childhood friend Rose. And I think it's one of the most gorgeous weddings I've ever planned.”

John took a sip from his tea and smiled. “In that case, I'd be happy to go with you.”

And Clara was happy to take him, way too happy.

* * *

After leaving Clara's flat John hurried to meet with Susan in the park when he almost ran the rest of the way when he spotted her already sitting on the bench.

“Sorry I'm late,” he panted and held up the big Pret-A-Manger bag for his daughter to see. “I got caught up.”

“Lunch queue?” Susan wanted to know while she eagerly reached for her sandwich.

“No, uhm,” he paused, unsure of how to explain it. “I had to check on, uhm, a friend.”

“Alright,” she replied and bit into her sandwich.

John smiled when he looked at her. Susan really was a bright, young woman and the more he saw of her the happier he was that she had taken the first step to seek him out. Maybe now was the time to tell her? Ask her what he had been meaning to ask for a week?

“There is something I've wanted to tell you for a while,” he began and cleared his throat when he lowered his gaze to his own sandwich. He didn't really feel like eating until he had gotten this off his chest.

“What is it?”

“Remember that I told you about Liz, my girlfriend?” John asked.

Susan nodded, but she was too busy chewing to reply.

“Well, we're probably going to get married in September,” he went on.

His daughter's eyes widened and she quickly swallowed her sandwich. “Oh, that is amazing news. Congratulations!”

John flinched. It felt strange whenever someone congratulated him on the upcoming wedding and he couldn't quite tell why that was.

“I want you to be there. We don't have a date yet, but when we have, I want you there.”

Susan smiled at him in response. “Of course. I'd love to be there,” she told him.

Yet John wasn't entirely finished with the conversation yet. “There is another thing.” He hesitated. “Liz doesn't know about you yet. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to hide you from her. It's just that her views are quite traditional and-”

“You don't want to cause a row before the wedding,” Susan finished his sentence.

John breathed in deeply. His daughter was smarter than he would have thought. “Exactly.”

“It's fine,” she replied after a moment. “And it's still kinda fresh for you, too.”

“Thank you,” he replied earnestly and finally, he felt like taking the first bite off his sandwich.

“So, tell me about the wedding,” his daughter prompted and after a sigh, John leaned back and started to tell her all about Clara and what they had looked at together. All of a sudden he was really looking forward to attending the upcoming wedding with his wedding planner and the next three weeks couldn't pass quickly enough for his taste.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments :) I love you all, you know that?  
> And now, the moment you've been waiting for. . .

For some reason John felt a little nervous when he walked up the stairs to Clara's flat. He knew that he was a little early and Clara would probably still need a moment to get ready while John had already put on a casual suit for the party tonight. A three-day wedding event – it was going to be exhausting, but he was still looking forward to it.

When Clara opened the door, she was still wearing fairly regular clothes – and a bright smile on her face. Somehow that look on her face made his heart light up and seeing her again was wonderful. After her injury, he had convinced Liz to let the weddings plans rest for a while, but that also meant he hadn't seen Clara since the day he had brought her lunch and exchanging text messages just wasn't the same thing as talking to her.

“You're not ready,” he noticed instantly.

Clara granted him a smile. “I'm gonna get ready at the hotel. My dress isn't really suitable for car rides. Come inside, I've got something for you,” she announced happily and led the way into her living room.

John realized once again that he liked her little flat. He couldn't quite tell whether it was messy or clean and the strangely romantic vibe suited Clara. It was a very homely, comfortable flat.

When Clara stopped in front of two garment bags, John frowned. “What is that?” he wanted to know.

Clara grinned at him in response. “I took the liberty of renting a costume for you for the ceremony tomorrow,” she explained. 

“A costume?”

Without saying another word, Clara unzipped the bag and revealed a rather strange tunic. Whatever it was, the suit that waited for him in the car suddenly seemed a lot more appealing even though he still preferred his plaid trousers over anything else.

“It's a medieval style wedding,” she announced, grinning broadly. “You'll need a costume.”

“I think you've failed to mention that so far,” John replied hesitantly. He was going to make a fool of himself in that thing, there was no doubt about that.

Clara's grin turned into a sheepish smile. “I wanted you to come and you would have said no if you had known from the beginning, don't deny it,” she said, giggling.

John uttered a low growl. “You seem to know me quite well,” he muttered and eyed the costume once again. Well, if it was a medieval ceremony and all the other guests had known from the beginning, there was a good chance they would all show up in a silly tunic or dress. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he had initially thought.

“That didn't change your mind, did it?” Clara wanted to know and suddenly she looked a little torn. “You're still coming, right?”

John granted her a smile. “Yes, I'm still coming,” he reassured her. Then he started to chuckle as well. “Would be mean if I just left you standing here, wouldn't it?”

She beamed at him in response. “Yes, it would,” Clara replied happily. “I'm just gonna grab my things and then we can go.”

* * *

“When you said your friend was getting married at a castle outside London,” John began when they stepped out of the car after driving for a bit over an hour, “you could have mentioned she was getting married at _Hever Castle_.”

Clara started to giggle when she looked at him, gawking at the beautiful building in front of them. “I thought you'd be too intimidated,” she explained.

“Hever Castle!” he went on, apparently still in shock. “Who books Hever Castle for their wedding?!”

She smiled to herself. Normally Rose would never have been able to afford a venue like this, but thanks to her soon-to-be husband and his connections they had found a way to rent this place and the hotel for the event. Her friend had been over the moon at the prospect of her childhood dream coming true at last and Clara had made the rest of the necessary phone calls to make tomorrow a very special day for her.

“You do know this was the childhood home of Anne Boleyn, right?” John asked her, still eyeing the castle doubtfully.

“History nerd, aren't you?” Clara raised her eyebrows at him and suddenly remembered the conversation they had had a while ago when they had started planning his wedding. He wasn't the type to like this sort of venue. “I know you think it's sappy and too expensive, trust me, I normally share your views, but Rose is my oldest friend. She deserves to get exactly the wedding she wants and this is gonna make her extremely happy. So I'm happy for her in return.”

John turned his head and to her surprise, he granted her a smile. “I get it,” he said. “And I don't mind. I think it's gonna be a great wedding.”

 

“It's an actual castle!” Jackie's screams could be heard across the lawn and Clara felt John flinch next to her when he realized whose wedding they were about to attend.

“Please tell me she's just here for the dress fitting,” John mumbled while Jackie started to approach them.

“Sorry,” Clara replied with a sigh, “but she's Roses' mother.”

“Dear God,” he muttered when Jackie had reached them and instantly threw her arms around Clara to say hello.

“My daughter is getting married in a castle! Oh, this is going to be wonderful!” she exclaimed before she released Clara from her hug and immediately turned her attention towards John. A smirk appeared on her face. “You've brought your handsome client.”

John blushed in an instant.

“Yes, I wanted him to have a look at someone else's wedding,” Clara explained as if it was the only reason she had brought him as her plus one. Maybe if she repeated the excuse often enough, she would begin to believe it herself. “Gather some ideas.”

“That's a nice thought,” the woman replied, but didn't seem at all interested to continue that discussion. “You should go inside and say hi to Rose. She's been waiting for you.”

“We'll do that,” Clara confirmed and waved towards John to follow her.

 

They walked up to the old castle and John's eyes appeared to grow bigger with every step as they approached the building. It was beautiful and the weather was nice, so Clara could hardly wait until tomorrow. It was going to be an amazing event through and through.

Rose was waiting for them inside the castle and she smiled when her eyes fell on Clara. Both girls instantly spread their arms and greeted each other with a long, tight hug.

“So good to see you,” Rose said while she squeezed Clara in her embrace.

“Ugh, let the wedding planner breathe or there'll be no wedding,” she chuckled in response before she was released from the hug. Finally, Clara could get a proper look at the bride. “You look radiant!”

“Thank you,” Rose beamed at her. “John is so nervous. He's been pacing around the place ever since we arrived.”

With a smile Clara turned around to John. “This is gonna be confusing. Her future husband is also called John Smith.”

“To be fair, most of my friends just call him Ten,” Rose giggled.

John raised his eyebrows doubtfully. “That seems like an odd nickname.”

Rose shrugged. “Well, on a scale from 1 to 10, he's a solid 10.”

That didn't seem to help his confusion at all.

“His looks,” Clara explained with a laugh. “It means he's good looking.”

“We could give him a number as well,” Jackie suggested when she entered the hall.

Clara had to refrain from laughing out loud as she watched John grow more uncomfortable by the minute. “I like that idea,” she agreed mischievously.

“Really?” John asked, his voice heavy with annoyance. “And what number would I be?”

“Mh, with that hair?” Rose pondered.

“Twelve,” all three women answered in unison.

John rolled his eyes in response and Clara decided to help him out and get him away from the two Tyler woman for now.

“Alright, we should probably get ready for the party,” she concluded after a moment. “Where do we get the keys for our rooms?”

“Rooms?” Rose asked and glanced from Clara to John and back. “I, uhm, I just have one room for you.”

Clara gave a nervous laugh in response. “But I said I'd bring someone.”

Now it was up to her friend to look uncomfortable as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “When you said you'd bring a plus one, I figured you meant Amy. I'm sorry. All the other rooms are taken.”

“Are you sure?” Clara enquired. John surely wouldn't appreciate having to share a bed with her and Clara wasn't sure she appreciated that either.

When Rose shook her head, John finally stepped forward. “It's fine,” he said to her surprise. “I can sleep on the sofa. I promise I won't snore.”

Rose nodded, but there was something else in the look she gave Clara that made her wary, yet she didn't feel like asking about it now when her friend turned around and started leading them towards what looked like a reception desk. Clara would have a look at the room first before she freaked out. And maybe, with a bit of luck, someone else might not show up and they wouldn't have to share a room after all.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you for all the sweet comments :D Now, I think you're gonna like this one XD

“There is no sofa.” It was the first thing John noticed when they stepped into the hotel room. Other than that it was thoroughly gorgeous if a tiny bit too pompous for his taste. The walls were all made of a dark wood and the large four-poster that still seemed to be from the Tudor era itself looked comfortable and quite soft. However, John was looking forward to a night on something a lot less cosy. “I suppose I could sleep on the chaise lounge.”

“Yeah, or the floor. It looks equally comfortable,” Clara replied dryly.

John turned around to look at her, wondering if she was being serious. “I could possibly try to find a hotel elsewhere. I'm sure there are some in the area,” he suggested.

“Don't be silly,” she groaned. “This is my fault. I should have told Rose weeks ago that you'd be coming with me and not Amy.”

“I doubt it would have made a difference,” he said. It really was unlikely that someone had accepted the invitation on such short notice that Clara could've secured a separate room.

“I suppose we could share the bed,” she suggested after a moment, shrugging lightly. “It's quite large.”

“Are you sure?” John asked, just to be certain. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable and he realized that sharing a bed with someone who was basically still a stranger was probably not something women liked to do. The gentleman in him wanted to insist on the chaise lounge, but the thought of the inevitable backache made him reconsider.

“It's better than you sleeping on that tiny thing,” Clara remarked, nodding towards the really quite small looking chaise lounge.

“Maybe someone else has a room with two single beds and we could switch?”

“Alright, stop it,” she said sharply and turned to look at him. There was a fierceness in her eyes that scared him a little even though Clara was a good deal shorter than him. Suddenly he was terrified to disagree with her. “We will not ask someone to switch rooms because everyone else will have already settled in and I don't want to cause anyone trouble. We'll just act like the adults we are and share the damn bed!”

John swallowed hard and raised his eyebrows at her. “You still seem mad about it,” he noted.

“I'm not mad. I just don't believe a man who says he doesn't snore,” she snapped and raised her finger as a warning. “And trust me, if you do snore, I'll kick you out and you get to sleep on the floor after all.”

John chuckled in response. “That sounds like a fair deal.”

Finally Clara smiled at him and John felt relieved to see that look on her face. He was going to stay on the far edge of the bed and try his best not to make a sound.

“I should get ready for the party,” she reasoned and then nodded towards the bed with a smile. “You can choose which side you'll sleep on in the meantime.”

“The side facing the door of course,” he answered and Clara cocked an eyebrow in response, waiting for him to explain. “The man always sleeps closer to the door. In case of intruders. I'll have to protect you.”

She hesitated for a short moment, then uttered a hearty laugh. It was a lovely sound. “What if they come in through the window?”

John shrugged. “You'll be dead, I suppose,” he joked.

“Fair enough,” Clara chuckled and reached for her small suitcase. “I'll be in the bathroom.”

* * *

John was growing increasingly hungry the longer Clara took to get ready and he had no idea what she could possibly be doing in there for so long. She had already looked pretty when he had picked her up and changing her dress couldn't possibly take an hour, could it? But he knew better than to ask again how much more time she would need because the first time he had, John had gotten a rather snarky reply. So instead he reached for the stack of brochures laid out on the coffee table and started reading up on Hever Castle and the surrounding gardens. John also studied the map of the maze, feeling that it might come in handy should he decide to have a go at it tomorrow during the day. Then, finally, the bathroom door opened again.

When John raised his head he didn't believe his eyes for a moment. The woman that emerged from the bathroom didn't quite seem to be the same one he had picked up and he had to look twice to make sure it was indeed the same Clara who had worn a leather jacket and biker boots to her girly dress just an hour ago. She had done something with her hair even though, as a man, John wasn't sure what exactly that was, and her eyes seemed even wider than usual. But that wasn't where his eyes went at first. No, they were glued to the navy blue cut-out dress she wore that reached up almost all the way to her hips. Was that still considered decent? John couldn't quite say.

“Uhm,” he spluttered, feeling that he should say something, but all that went through his head was how gorgeous she looked. John was only a man and he wasn't blind. There was no denying that she looked incredibly hot. “You're taller.”

Clara giggled and lifted her foot. “Heels.”

“I see,” he uttered.

“No, I don't think you do cause your eyes are most certainly not on my feet.”

Finally John snapped out of it and looked her straight into the eyes. Clara was beautiful on a normal day, but tonight she had really gone out of her way to turn any man's head.

“Shall we go?” Clara asked, smiling, and he could do nothing but nod.

 

John felt extremely underdressed with Clara by his side as they walked back into the great hall where the party had already started. When he had been worried they wouldn't be able to find it in the maze of rooms, John realized that he had been wrong to assume they could miss the music or the laughter of the other guests. He had briefly forgotten about how hungry he really was at the sight of Clara, but as they entered the room and he spotted the large buffet, John felt his mouth water.

“Mhhh, that looks so good,” Clara remarked and suddenly he felt her reach for his hand and drag him towards the food. For some reason, his skin tingled where she touched him and John had no idea what was wrong with him or why his heart seemed to go crazy when he looked at her. Her looks tonight really did something to his mind and John wished that it would stop, whatever it was.

“Do you like it?”

John was torn out of his thoughts and he turned his head and looked at her. How did she make her eyes even larger? Were they inflatable? But it wasn't just the size of them. Tonight they were sparkling with joy and John couldn't deny that he liked the sight of that. “I'm sorry?”

“The food,” Clara chuckled. “Do you like it? It is something you'd consider for your own wedding?”

His wedding. Of course. He had almost forgotten the reason he had been invited in the first place. “Uhm,” he paused, “I haven't tried it yet.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” she prompted him with a smile and John was glad of the distraction when they filled their plates and moved on to one of the tables.

Over dinner John had the chance to relax a little while they ate and chatted with Rose's cousins who seemed just as thrilled about the upcoming wedding as Clara. It was a nice idea to have a normal party before a themed wedding, John had to admit that much, and he even found himself looking forward to whatever Clara had planned for tomorrow. It was going to be great, he was sure of it.

“Are you here for the bride or groom?” someone asked and John raised his head, not immediately knowing who was being spoken to. When all the eyes were set on him, he figured the question had been directed at him and opened his mouth to reply, but Clara cut him off before he had a chance.

“John is my client,” she explained. “I brought him here to have a look at the venue and catering.

“Ohhhh,” the cousin's eyes lit up in an instant and John could already feel that the conversation was going to head in a direction he wouldn't like in the least. “When's the wedding?”

He wanted to groan, no, he wanted to be as far away from questions about dates and suits and venues as possible. John didn't want to think about his wedding, not now. So he decided to ignore the question and turned his attention towards Clara.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked her instead.

Clara looked a little taken aback, but she smiled nonetheless. “I thought you couldn't dance,” she remarked, but it was obvious from the tone in her voice that she was intrigued.

John straightened his shoulders. Donna had taught him the basics, he would not make a fool of himself this time. “I practised a little,” he replied, trying very hard to hide his pride as best as he could, but still he knew that he was failing at it.

His heart skipped a little beat when Clara smiled at him and nodded and while she excused herself from Rose's cousin, John rose to his feet and tried his best to remember everything his friend had taught him.

 

“Try not to step on my feet,” Clara giggled when they reached the dance floor. “These shoes were expensive.”

“I'll give my best,” John replied as he laid his hand on her waist and took her hand. Just one step after the other. Short steps. He needed to remember that Clara's legs were shorter.

“Mh, a bit stiff,” she remarked, “but definitely better than your first attempt.”

John granted her a sheepish smile. “Hey, I'm trying here.”

It took him a while, but slowly he was beginning to relax more and more. By the end of the second song, John realized that he was enjoying the feeling of leading Clara across the dance floor while she was in his arms.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so, so much for all your sweet comments! Let me give you a big cyber hug!  
> Hope you're enjoying the wedding as much as John and Clara are. . . oh, wait. . .

Clara was still laughing when they reached the hotel room and closed the door behind them. Surely the careful up-do of her hair had been turned into a wild mess during the last, not so very slow dance, but as she glanced at John she found nothing but admiration in the way he looked at her. Clara wasn't as innocent as she appeared, she knew the hint of desire in his gaze for what it was and maybe she had chosen her most provocative dress on purpose just to coax a reaction out of him, just to see whether the man she was attracted to found her attractive in return in any way. It was harmless, just as Amy had said, just a bit of teasing, just a bit of flirting. He was going to get married and Clara didn't have to be afraid to put her heart on the line.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” John admitted after a moment, smiling at her. “Thanks for bringing me along.”

Clara giggled while she sank down on the bed, her feet hurting in her heels after he had dragged her to the dance floor over and over again just to avoid having to dance with Jackie Tyler. “You were just trying to dodge Jackie, admit it!”

John bit down on his lip, smirking a little. “That was one of the reasons, yes,” he confessed.

“And the other?” Clara cocked her head a little and watched his reaction, but for some reason, John avoided her gaze and she decided not to press the matter further. “We should probably go to sleep. Breakfast starts at 8.”

“That's a good idea,” John agreed quietly.

Clara kicked off her shoes and made her way into the bathroom to get rid of the layers of makeup she had applied for the party. After changing into her pyjamas and brushing her teeth she switched places with John and waited until he had finished, sitting on the bed and studying the brochures he had looked at before. The maze seemed like something she should definitely try the next day

When John emerged from the bathroom Clara wasn't quite sure whether he had merely changed into his ordinary day clothes or whether he really wore pyjamas every day, but by now she felt a little too tired to make fun of him. The evening had been thoroughly lovely and exhausting.

“Kill the lights?” she asked after John had settled next to her and he turned around in bed. A moment later the entire room went dark and extremely quiet except for the rustling of the duvet.

“Good night,” he told her and then fell silent.

Clara was suddenly afraid to move so as not to disturb him. 

“Good night,” she replied and closed her eyes, but somehow, despite how tired she was, she didn't quite find the peace she needed to actually fall asleep. The room was quiet, too quiet and the only thing Clara could hear was his breathing. Was he hearing hers as well? Was it too loud? What if she turned around in her sleep and ended up on his side of the bed? Then, after a few moments, the tension grew too much to bear.

“John?” she asked quietly.

“Mh?”

“I had a lot of fun tonight as well,” Clara admitted.

When John spoke Clara thought she could hear the smile in his voice and suddenly she felt a little calmer. “I'm glad you did.”

“Did you learn to dance just so you could show off tonight?” she wanted to know, giggling softly.

“Shut up and sleep,” he growled, then followed the rustling of fabric as John pulled the duvet further up.

Clara chuckled. “You so did,” she said and turned on her side. She would do as she was told and sleep. They both had an exhausting day ahead of them and Clara didn't want to waste a minute of that on a yawn.

* * *

“I look ridiculous,” John growled as they emerged from the building and he glanced around. Half the guests had dressed up for the occasion, including Clara and himself, but the other half had come in plain modern day clothes. His thoughts went back to the suite upstairs and he thought about how much more comfortable he would be without this silly tunic.

“You don't,” Clara reassured him. “You fit in nicely. Look, everyone else is wearing medieval clothes as well.”

“They look equally ridiculous.”

Clara pushed herself into his field of vision, smiling broadly. “Do I look ridiculous?”

His features softened a little when he looked at her. The truth was that Clara could never look ridiculous even if she tried. Her red gown was gorgeous and John had to resist the urge to reach out and touch her just to see if the velvet was as soft as it looked. She looked beautiful, maybe even more beautiful than she had last night.

“No,” he replied softly. “You, uhm, you look-”

He broke off. John wasn't the type to compliment women, but right now he felt like he had to. Clara had made such an effort with her wig and her jewellery, he really should say it out loud. Yet when he opened his mouth to finish his sentence, he was cut off by another man who had sneaked up from behind and suddenly covered Clara's eyes with his hands.

“Guess who,” the good looking man dressed up as Robin Hood said and to his dismay John watched a smile spread across Clara's face.

“Jack!” she exclaimed loudly and turned around to hug the man who had appeared out of nowhere. John looked at him once more, but he was certain that he hadn't seen him at the party yesterday.

When Jack cupped Clara's face in his hands and kissed her, John instantly took a step back and felt his heart sink. Of course. It had been silly to assume that Clara was single and this man was obviously her boyfriend. He should probably excuse himself and go far, far away.

“You're falling behind,” Jack said with a laugh. “Come on, Rose is gonna make an announcement any moment.”

Clara turned back around and smiled at John, but this time her expression somehow tugged at his heart – and not in a pleasant way. “Are you coming?” she asked him.

“Yeah, you should join them,” Jack cut him off once more. “I'm gonna go and find Ianto. He should be around here somewhere.”

John flinched when Clara suddenly reached for his arm and started to lead him across the lawn towards the other guests, who were gathering around the bride and groom. He couldn't quite explain it, but something about the situation was bothering him all of a sudden.

“Something wrong?” Clara asked, obviously picking up on his change of mood and when John looked at her, he found her still smiling up at him.

“You should have said something,” he replied quietly.

“Said what?” She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“You should have taken your boyfriend to the wedding, not me.”

Clara chuckled nervously. “My what?”

“Your. . . Jack. . . your boyfriend,” John spluttered and suddenly he felt like an idiot. He didn't know whether that man really was her boyfriend, but after the kiss, he had assumed he was and it was bothering him. Why was it bothering him? And why was he afraid that he had once again made a fool of himself in front of Clara? It would all be easier if she wasn't staring at him right now, looking so beautiful that he could hardly form a clear thought.

“Jack isn't my boyfriend, he's-”

Her sentence was cut short when they reached the other guests and the crowd suddenly parted. Something came flying through the air and John instinctively stepped back to make room for whatever it was, but Clara was standing right in the way and as if by instinct she spread her arms and caught the flying object. The bouquet. For a moment the entire crowd went quiet. Then they started cheering.

“Well,” John chuckled when he had finally made sense of what had just happened, “looks like you're next.”

Clara raised her head, looking at him with large, sad eyes and he instantly knew that even though everyone else was cheering, Clara was anything but in a cheerful mood. Her face was frozen in a mask of shock and horror.

“Clara?” John asked carefully before she tossed the bouquet in his hands, turned around on her heels and started to run off in the direction of the maze.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so, so much for your amazing comments! Ahhh, I'm so happy you're enjoying this and I'm sorry to be torturing you with this slow burn. . . oh wait, I'm not actually sorry XD

“Clara!” John shouted as he darted after her, right into the maze. She was ahead of him and he had no idea which route she had taken, but he just had to try. He had to find her. “Clara! Wait!”

John took turns at random, following the faint sound of Clara's footsteps and he was sure that studying the map last night wouldn't help him find his way out again because after just a minute of running he had lost track of where in the maze he was. Then John glimpsed a strip of red fabric as Clara hurried around a corner.

“Clara!” he called out once more and sped up his pace. Just before she turned around the next corner John had a chance to reach for her arm. “Clara, stop!”

“I'm not gonna be next!” she yelled at him and when she turned around, John saw the tears in her eyes. “I'm _never_ gonna be next!”

John frowned at her in reply. Clara was clearly upset, but he had no idea what had happened or why she was suddenly so very emotional. But he knew that he _wanted_ to understand.

“I'm _never_ gonna get married!” she sobbed and John didn't know what else he could do, so he simply closed his arms around her in a gentle embrace.

“I know you said you don't want to get married, but-”

“I wanted to,” Clara admitted, her voice muffled while her face was buried in his tunic. Then suddenly she pushed herself away from him and John watched her wipe her tears from her face. “Oh God, I'm crying. I'm crying in front of a client. Great. That's. . . that's great.”

He felt utterly helpless. Emotions, crying, women, none of this had ever been his area of expertise and he had no idea what he could do about it. But Clara was sad and John felt the strong urge to comfort her, to make it better as best as he could.

“Clara, what's wrong?” he asked carefully.

She hesitated for a long moment, looking at him while the tears filled her eyes again.

“I was gonna get married,” she confessed after a while, her voice husky and heavy with emotion. “I was gonna have it all, the dream wedding, the dream dress, everything. I had planned it all.”

“What happened?” John wanted to know.

Clara shrugged and sniffed. “He died.”

“Oh,” he uttered and the silence that followed seemed endless and incredibly awkward. He should have known. Somehow he felt like he should have known. “I'm sorry.”

“Your compassion isn't gonna bring Danny back, so shut up!”

“Clara-”

“No,” she cut him off, her voice sharp, “I don't wanna hear it. I've had more than enough people telling me how sorry they are, how I deserve better, how I'm gonna find another man and get married after all. I'm sick and tired of it!”

“I'm only getting married because I don't wanna be alone,” John blurted out. There, he had said it now. It was the only thing he could think of and he wasn't even sure why. If Clara didn't want to hear how sorry he was, he was going to give her something else. And apparently, it worked.

Clara frowned at him for a while, obviously needing a moment to let his words sink in, but her tears had stopped.

“At least you were gonna get married for love,” he told her. “I'm getting married because I'm a coward. I'm afraid of dying alone. I'm afraid to tell her that the proposal was an accident. I just don't wanna be on my own.”

“John-” Clara began, but then she broke off and her shoulders sank while she uttered a short, soft laugh. Then the tears came back.

He had no other choice, so John stepped forward once more and placed his hands on her shoulder.

“They are right,” he told her. “You do deserve better and you will find someone else. Just don't make the same mistakes I made. Don't wait too long. Don't settle for second best. Don't let the grief eat you up. The person you lost can never be replaced, but there are so many other people out there who deserve a chance as well.”

Clara sniffed once more, but then nodded and suddenly the strange idea to kiss her crossed his mind. But instead of giving in to the sudden urge, John let his hands slide down her arms until they came to rest around her wrists. He lifted her hands to his mouth and placed a long, soft kiss on her knuckles. Clara smiled at him in response, but her features soon grew serious again.

“Why are you settling for second best?” she wanted to know.

John shrugged. “Liz is a good person, she's nice, I like her a lot-”

“ _Like_ her?” she asked. “I think you should more than _like_ someone to get married.”

Suddenly he regretted bringing up the subject because even though it had taken her mind off her fiancé's death, somehow he knew that Clara wouldn't drop the matter any time soon.

“Ah, it's too late for me. I'm old. I'm never gonna find someone who likes this face,” he said with a laugh and pointed towards his head. “You, however, have all the options in the world.”

He could tell by the look on her face that Clara was about to say something, but he decided to not give her a chance.

“Hey, how about we go back to the others? I'm sure you'll be missed by now and I think it's almost lunchtime,” John reasoned, giving Clara a soft nudge.

There was a moment of hesitation from her side, but eventually she agreed with a smile.

 

The rest of the day passed in a blur and John almost regretted that tomorrow they would have to go back. Clara's spirits had lifted again and even though sometimes he still caught her looking just a tiny bit lost in thought, they soon joined the others for an extensive lunch. The weather was amazing, so instead of sitting indoor, they spread blankets for everyone on the lawn and the guests proceeded to have a huge picnic. The games started afterwards and finally, Clara seemed to have buried all bad thoughts. She looked happy and laughed while they played cricket before men and women were divided into groups for a game of hide and seek. Each man was supposed to find one woman and of course he had been assigned to Clara, who turned out to be very good at hiding. Eventually, John found her in the maze before the roles were switched and he tried in vain to hide behind a bush.

When the sun set and it was growing colder, the guests retreated inside Hever Castle and this time John couldn't evade Jackie for the whole evening, but luckily Clara soon came to his aid – yet not after laughing at his attempts to pretend he was very bad at dancing just to get rid of Jackie Tyler. He and Clara danced all night, only stopping for a brief moment to rest their feet and have dinner while listening to a speech prepared by Rose and her husband. John had had his doubts about this wedding, but now that he was here, actually taking part, he had to admit that he liked it. It was big, it was pompous and romantic and he still liked it. Maybe, if the circumstances were different, he wouldn't mind having just exactly this kind of wedding with his own bride.

When Rose and Ten kissed in front of the crowd and confessed their love once again, John glanced towards Clara to see if she was wrinkling her nose, having said before how much she hated romance, but instead he found her gazing longingly at the couple in front of them – before their eyes met across the table and she smiled at him. John forced himself to smile back. One day Clara would forget about her aversion and marry the man she loved. And the thought about it stung.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *group hug* Thank you all for the sweet comments :)

Clara turned around in bed and stared right into John's face. He smiled at her even though he looked as exhausted as she felt. By now it was well past midnight and everyone else was either in bed already or still dancing downstairs. Clara's feet, however, had given up at last.

“You look happy,” Clara chuckled. “Not at all like I just forced you to attend a pompous wedding.”

John's smile widened. “If I remember correctly, I agreed to come of my own free will,” he replied. Then he uttered a sigh. “Almost a shame we have to go home tomorrow and haven't actually seen Hever castle.”

Clara gave a soft shrug. “Why don't we have a look at it?”

John frowned at her in response.

“I mean, most people will leave after breakfast, but there's no one forcing us to go home straight away,” she told him. A part of her was sad that they would have to go home the next day because she had thoroughly enjoyed the weekend with John, in fact, she had enjoyed it a bit too much and the secrets they had confessed during a rather emotional moment would surely come back to haunt her as soon as she had returned to her own flat.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he admitted.

“We could take a tour through the exhibition,” she went on. “And have a proper look at the gardens. I'd like that.”

“I'd like that, too,” John said sincerely, the smile still on his face, but now it only managed to make her sad.

They were lying next to each other in a comfortable hotel bed, he was lovely and good looking and a proper gentleman, Clara fancied him, but John was going to get married in just a few months – to another woman.

“You shouldn't settle for second best,” Clara found herself saying and apparently she surprised John with her sudden change of topic. 

He looked confused as if he needed a moment to understand what she was talking about. Then his featured turned into a sad smile. “Who says I am?”

“You said you _like_ her,” Clara retorted. “That's not the word I would have chosen to describe my feelings for the person I'm going to marry.”

“Clara, you don't understand,” John sighed. “After I lost River I was alone for a very long time. I was lonely. Liz was the first person to step into my life after over a decade. I'm not like you, I'm not in my 20s anymore-”

“I'll turn 30 in November,” she argued.

“And you still have a lot more possibilities than I ever had,” he explained and reached out. Clara flinched a little when he took her hand in his and squeezed it softly, but soon she was beginning to enjoy the skin contact. “It's alright for you to wait for the right man to come along, but for me. . . there isn't exactly a queue.”

Clara frowned at him in response. “Don't say that. You're charming and you look great.”

He chuckled. “Now that you mention it, I do look good,” he replied with a laugh, but his features soon turned serious again. “Liz and I have been together for a while. She's a good person and I don't mind growing old with her.”

Somehow she still thought it was wrong, but Clara knew that John would never listen to any of her arguments. Why was she even arguing? Of course, there was a tiny part of her that wanted him to give her a chance, a part that was hoping she could steal him away from another woman. The better she came to know him, the more Clara wished that she could one day be his bride instead.

“We should probably get some sleep,” John reasoned after a while and only now Clara became aware that he was still holding her hand and he didn't seem as if he wanted to let go.

“Yes,” Clara replied softly and John turned around to switch off the light, letting go of her hand in the process. She didn't stand a chance against Liz.

* * *

The ride home seemed to go on forever and for some reason, John didn't even mind. He had loved every single minute of this weekend and he was sad to see it come to an end now. He had even tried to delay the goodbye by taking Clara on a walk through the gardens and the maze and to dinner afterwards. Somehow he just wanted to stay in Clara's presence for a while longer. He couldn't quite explain why, but everything seemed a little easier with her: hanging out, talking, it just felt natural. And now that she had told him about her fiancé's death, John thought he understood her a lot better than he had before. They had more in common than he had realized at first. Clara didn't hate romance and marriage as much as she hated everyone else having it when she couldn't. One day Clara would find another man and she would plan a wedding with a lot more enthusiasm than John was planning his.

“Damn,” Clara suddenly cursed on the passenger seat.

John shot her a quick glance before he focused on the road again, but he realized that she was rummaging through her purse. “What's wrong?” he wanted to know.

“I can't find my keys,” she replied, sounding slightly out of breath as she continued to go through her handbag. “They have to be here somewhere.”

“Maybe they're in your suitcase,” John suggested.

With a groan Clara leaned back in the car seat and let her bag slide down to her feet. “I took them out of my suitcase and put them on the coffee table in our room. I wanted to put them in my purse so I could grab them as soon as I got home.”

“But they're not in your purse.”

Clara sighed and turned her head towards him. She looked a little lost. “They're still on the coffee table.”

John considered his options for a moment. If he lost his keys, he knew that Missy would have a spare set that he could use. “Do you have a spare?”

“Yes, but Amy has it and she's asleep already,” Clara replied and she sounded annoyed. “Remember that I tried phoning her half an hour ago when we left the restaurant after dinner?”

John did remember, but that hardly solved Clara's problem. No, there was only one thing he could do about it. “You can stay at my place,” he told her. “I'm sure you will reach Amy tomorrow and the hotel will keep your keys and you can get them back.”

“No, I couldn't possibly impose on you _again_ ,” Clara argued.

“You're not imposing on me, not at all,” John said immediately because it was the truth. He would gladly take Clara in if it meant having her around for a day longer. He just didn't want to say goodbye, not yet. “Please, just say yes. Where else will you go?”

“A hotel?” she suggested sheepishly.

John scoffed. “Out of the question! You can have the bed, I'll take the sofa. It's not a problem at all.”

Clara sighed once more. “We've shared a bed for the past two nights,” she reasoned. There was the sound of defeat in her tone of voice. “No point trying to be a gentleman now.”

Somehow John's heart skipped a little beat when Clara agreed and he knew that he really shouldn't be happy about the recent developments. He liked Clara, but he liked her a little bit too much. John had realized that during the last weekend. There was no way this could possibly end well for him.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments! I hope this is gonna make you happy ;)

When Clara woke up she wasn't quite sure where she was, but somehow it all felt too familiar. The bed, the soft snoring next to her. She smiled to herself, thinking that she should have known better than to trust a man who said he didn't snore, but for some reason, she didn't mind the sound at all. Clara blinked a couple of times and spotted John next to her, still fast asleep, and the light smile on his face told her that he was probably dreaming about something nice.

As quietly as she could Clara rose from her side of the bed and sneaked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. John had been nice towards her from the beginning, the way he had taken care of her after her encounter with the rude wedding guest, he had learned how to dance just for her and he had offered her a place to sleep for the night – Clara was determined to repay his kindness at least to some extent and a delicious breakfast seemed like exactly the right place to start.

John wasn't exactly a slob, but as she soon realized, he had his very own way of arranging things as the packaging tape between his mugs and an ancient looking computer mouse in his cutlery drawer were proof of. Clara smiled to herself when she opened the fridge and his cupboards and found all the ingredients she needed to make an American style breakfast with strong coffee and French toast. When the coffee maker switched off and the first toast was sizzling in the frying pan, Clara noticed the first signs that John was beginning to wake up.

“Something smells good,” he said under a yawn as he trudged into the kitchen and a moment later John glanced over her shoulder. “French toast?”

Clara giggled when she turned to look at him. “I thought I'd make us something for breakfast. Since you were kind enough to take in a homeless wedding planner.”

“You didn't have to. I could have made something,” he replied.

In return, she granted him a smile. “I don't mind. Like I said, I wanted to do something nice for you for a change.”

John's features lit up. “At least let me help.”

When he tried to make his way past her towards the stove, Clara tried her best to block his path. “Out of the question. This is my turn to be nice, so sit,” she told him sternly and raised the spatula as a warning.

Yet he didn't seem to have the slightest intention to give in to her when Clara noticed the broad grin on his face and suddenly John darted forward and grabbed her by the waist. Clara laughed when he tried to push her out of the way, but she was a lot stronger than she looked and just like John she had no intention of giving up.

“John, the toast,” she laughed, trying to tell him that it was going to burn when they didn't stop their wrestling soon, but instead of letting her go John only pulled her a closer when he realized she wouldn't budge.

The moment Clara fell against his chest she was suddenly very glad of his support because her knees were weak and shaking just a little when he smiled down at her. Clara uttered a breathless laugh. “We're gonna have coal for breakfast,” she argued, but John didn't even seem to hear her and it wasn't as if Clara really minded. She had missed this kind of closeness, she had missed being held by a man, missed the warmth of his body and the feelings it was rousing in her.

A part of her wasn't even surprised when John raised his hands and cupped her cheeks. Somehow it felt almost natural all of a sudden as he bent down and brought their lips together in a careful, gentle kiss and the only thing Clara could think of was that she had wanted this to happen since the first time they met. She parted her lips for him, almost afraid it was going to make him stop, but instead John pulled her a little closer and kissed her until she felt like she was running out of breath. The butterflies in her stomach went haywire and Clara found herself reaching for the lapels of his flannel pyjamas, anything to hold on to before she lost her grip on reality.

When they finally ran out of air for good and their lips parted again, John smiled at her. It was then that it all came back to her and she realized that they had gone too far. He was her client and even though she had tried to ignore the painful truth, John was going to get married to another woman. Clara had to leave and she had to do it now before either of them did something even more stupid.

“I should go,” she reasoned and tried to pull away, but John's hand had slid down again and was now keeping a tight grip around her wrist.

“Please, stay for breakfast,” John almost pleaded with her while he gave her hand a soft squeeze.

Yet Clara shook her head and finally tore her arm free. “No, I should really leave,” she replied and before John made another attempt to change her mind, Clara turned around and darted towards the sofa where she had draped her jacket over the backrest.  
She didn't care that she was still in her pyjamas, she simply threw on the jacket, grabbed her suitcase and headed out of the door. Right now she needed time to think and she couldn't do that in John's presence.

* * *

John had half a mind to go after her, his heart wanted to, but his head knew that it would probably do more harm than good. He had kissed her. Why had he kissed her? Right now John couldn't even say, but the more time passed the surer he became that he couldn't just let Clara leave like this, so he grabbed his own jacket and darted after her.

John made it down the flight of stairs, almost stumbling over his own two feet in the hurry, and when he had reached for his keys and threw the door open, John instantly felt his body collide with someone else.

“Whoah, slow down!” Missy barked at him. “Where do you think you're going?”

John was gasping for air, completely out of breath from just running down the stairs, but he didn't have time to deal with his sister right now. He had to go after Clara and talk to her. If he waited for much longer, he wouldn't be able to catch up with her.

“Not now, Missy,” John hissed and tried to push past her, but his sister successfully blocked his path, no matter how much he tried to evade her. “Please, let me through.”

“Not a chance,” she argued and closed the door behind her. John groaned. “You're agitated and you're in your pyjamas, so whatever you're trying to do, it's probably a bad idea.”

With a sigh, John gave up his attempts to escape his sister because he knew that she was right. He had messed up and Clara had had every right to run away. John should just give her the time she needed until he called her to apologize.

“There's a good boy,” Missy told him and John glowered at her at her choice of words. “Wanna tell me why you're in such a state?”

“I'm not in a state,” he growled while his head was trying to come up with a suitable lie. Missy wouldn't be fooled easily. She knew him too well for that. “I was gonna get coffee.”

“In your pyjamas?” His sister raised her eyebrows.

When John failed to answer, Missy took a moment to give him a thorough look from head to toe, obviously trying to determine what he had actually attempted to do. She didn't seem to come to a conclusion, so after a while, his sister merely shrugged. “Are you having a problem of any kind?” she wanted to know.

“Everyone has problems,” John argued gruffly.

“Mh,” Missy hummed, still looking him over suspiciously. “Is it a pretty problem?”

“What?”

“Ah, you know. Pretty, beautiful, if a bit short,” his sister went on and now the tone of her voice was mocking him. “Brown hair, dark eyes, also wearing pyjamas.”

John could do nothing but frown at her.

“I saw your wedding planner heading down the road!” Missy told him, her voice heavy with annoyance as if she couldn't believe how John could be so thick.

Yet John didn't have a chance to reply when his door bell rang and he instantly made his way past Missy, knowing it couldn't be anyone but Clara who had decided to come back after all, yet when he opened the door, John stared straight into the face of another problem he had momentarily forgotten about.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the sweet comments :) I'm glad you all enjoyed their kiss. But let's move on to some trouble now. . .

“John, there seems to be an exceptional amount of young women at your place for a quiet Monday morning,” Missy remarked and crossed her arms in front of her chest while she exchanged looks between him and his daughter – of whom he hadn't told Missy yet.

Susan looked startled, to say the least, and she quickly lowered the cups of coffee she had brought. “I'm sorry,” she spluttered, “I'm so, so sorry, I should-”

It took him a moment to realize just what his daughter was thinking and when it finally hit him, John stepped forward and led Susan into the house. “Don't worry,” he told her calmly. “That's my sister Missy.”

“Oh,” Susan uttered before her features softened a little and the shock was beginning to fade from her face. She extended her arm and shook Missy's hand. “Hi, it's nice to meet you. John has told me a lot about you.”

“No, he probably hasn't,” his sister remarked. “And that's for the best, but I'm afraid he hasn't mentioned you at all.”

John forced a smile. “Why don't we all go upstairs and sit down while we talk?”

 

The two women agreed and while his hands were busy making a third cup of coffee for his sister, his mind went over everything he was going to say to her. She had spotted Clara, so at some point, Missy was definitely going to ask about her, but first John had to tell her about his daughter and that was going to be a long, long conversation.

“So, are you going to enlighten me as to who this pretty, young woman is?” his sister demanded as she was handed her coffee.

John sank down on his seat with a sigh. “Susan is my daughter,” he explained, knowing that stalling and lying wouldn't get him anywhere. Now he only needed to wait until the storm of her reaction passed.

Missy, however, seemed quite calm while the news sank in and she glanced towards Susan once more before she nodded. “Ah,” she replied quietly. That was all she said. Nothing more, nothing less.

John opened his mouth to defend himself, but Susan cut him off before he had a chance. “We've met only recently,” she told Missy. “I didn't know who my father was until I found my mother's diaries.”

To John's surprise, his sister shrugged. “Well, this was going to happen sooner or later.”  
He frowned at Missy, not quite sure what was going on. He had assumed his sister would throw a fit, tease him for cheating on his wife, he had expected almost anything apart from the reaction she was showing. “You don't seem surprised,” he remarked carefully.

“Of course I'm not surprised. I knew you had a daughter.”

 

The words hung in the air for a long moment before John could finally grasp their meaning and yet a part of him was still looking for a way he could have misunderstood. Missy knew. That could only mean one thing and he didn't want to believe it. Not after all those years.

“River knew a lot of things you didn't,” Missy told him.

“And she told _you_?” John barked, still unable to wrap his head around what he had just learned. River had known about his child all along and she had never told him. No, it just wouldn't sink in.

“John, don't get mad about this now, River and Patti had an agreement-”

“One I was excluded from!” John argued loudly.

“The important question is another one. Have you told Liz?” Missy wanted to know and finally, John rose from his seat so he could tower over his sister.

He stared down at her, hoping his eyes could convey the anger that was raging inside of him. “I think you should leave now,” he growled. “As you can see, my daughter stopped by for breakfast.”

Luckily for him, Missy didn't protest and got up from the sofa. “You're right. We should probably talk about this some other time,” she replied.

“Oh yes,” he spat. “We will.”

 

“I should leave, too,” Susan said meekly once Missy had left his flat and John spun around on his heels and looked at his daughter. She seemed so uncomfortable with the whole situation.

“No, please,” John begged her. This entire morning really hadn't turned out the way he had expected it to. After the wonderful weekend, he had hoped for everything to go smoothly, he had hoped to spend some more time with Clara and with Susan and now everything seemed to go downhill. After the kiss and Missy's revelation, John had no idea what he was supposed to think. “Just forget you ever met my sister.”

Susan chuckled softly. “Hard to forget an encounter like this.”

“Did you know?” John wanted to know as he sank back down next to his daughter. “Did you know River was aware of you?”

She shook her head. “It wasn't in Mum's diaries. Not the ones I've read so far,” she explained. “But I haven't found all of them yet.”

John nodded softly and took the first sip of the coffee Susan had brought. It was cold by now.

“Are you sure you don't want me to leave?” she asked once again.

John granted her a smile, even if it took him some effort. “Very sure,” he replied. Susan's presence had a calming effect on him for some reason and he really didn't want to be alone right now. On his own, John knew that he would spend his time thinking about everything that had happened this morning, probably without coming to any conclusions. He needed to talk to someone, someone who wasn't involved in any of it and there was only one person that came to his mind right now. Clara.

* * *

Clara jumped nervously from one foot to the other, waiting impatiently for her best friend to open the door and when she finally looked into Amy's face, Clara breathed a sigh of relief.

“Should've known it was you,” her friend remarked with a yawn. “No one else would wake me that early.”

“Can I come in?”

Amy looked at her and obviously noticed the suitcase and the pyjamas because a moment later she held the door open a little wider and Clara stepped through. The place was a mess, but she didn't have the energy to comment on it. There were things she needed to get off her chest first.

“I kissed John,” she blurted out immediately once they door had closed behind them.

“Whoah, slow down,” Amy replied. “Let's sit down first because a hangover, standing up and a best friend in trouble is a terrible combination.”

Clara tried to be patient while her friend was rummaging through the kitchen and a few minutes later she returned to the living room with two cups of coffee and a smile on her face. “We have to be quiet cause Rory is still asleep,” she told her. “Now out with it. You kissed John?”

“He kissed me,” Clara corrected herself. “I don't know how it happened. We spent the weekend together at Rose's wedding and we shared a room-”

Amy's eyebrows shot up.

“It wasn't planned, okay? And it doesn't matter now because nothing happened during the weekend,” she went on after she had taken a sip from her coffee. “We came back last night and I realized I had left my keys there. I couldn't reach you.”

“Sorry,” her best friend replied sheepishly, but for some reason, she seemed to find it hard to hide her smile. “Rory and I were. . . busy.”

“Why?” Clara asked warily.

“Keep talking,” Amy prompted her, sipping her coffee and it was at that moment that Clara's gaze fell on Amy's hand and she spotted the ring, sparkling in the morning light.

“Oh my God, he finally asked!” Clara blurted out.

“Shush,” her friend hushed her. “Rory is still asleep and he has no idea I found the ring months ago. I pretended to be very surprised.”

Clara smiled at her best friend. “I'm happy for you,” she said truthfully, but not without a hint of sadness. She would be happier if her life wasn't such a mess right now.

“We can discuss that later, now I want to hear all about you snogging your client.”

With a sigh Clara leaned back and started telling Amy in detail about everything that had happened since Friday afternoon, hoping it would lift some of the confusion that she felt, but it didn't actually make her feel any better and Clara was beginning to think that the only person that could lift her spirits was John.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments, guys :) Now, how about some angst?

Clara had half a mind to lock up her office and go home five minutes after arriving at work when she spotted the number of emails that had gathered in her inbox over the weekend. Some of them were easily taken care of and that included the offers for fad diets that would make her lose several pounds a week and enhancements for body parts she didn't even have. Other emails, however, came from her various clients. Clara wrinkled her nose at a thank you email from the wedding she had attended a few weeks ago that had ended in a concussion and a twisted ankle and once again it was proof of just how cheap the couple really was. Most of her clients sent a card or stopped by her office after the honeymoon, but she didn't have time to get mad about that now, not when she had dozens of other emails waiting for her and her thoughts still circled around the kiss she had shared with John just a few hours ago.

As if the universe had heard her silent plea for a distraction, the bell above her office door rang and Clara looked up to see who had stepped inside, only to spot the one person she really didn't want to deal with it right now.

“Good morning,” Liz greeted her in a friendly, yet shy manner and for a moment Clara felt a little lost for words. A few hours ago Clara had kissed her future husband. How on earth was she supposed to act now? “Is this a bad time?”

“Uhm, no,” Clara lied and cleared her throat when she realized her voice sounded a bit odd, “come in.”

Liz walked across the room and sat down on the opposite side of the desk, but when Clara had assumed the woman would come out with whatever she had come here for, she had been wrong.

“So, uhm, what brings you here?” Clara asked, trying her best to sound normal, but the image of John bending down to meet her kept popping up in front of her inner eye. Was that how it was going to be from now on?

“The wedding,” Liz replied and Clara felt like slapping herself. Of course. Why else would she be here?

Clara opened her mouth, but the woman cut her off before she had a chance.

“John isn't happy with it,” she admitted and Clara could see that Liz had apparently spent a great deal of time thinking about this meeting. It seemed to weigh heavy on her mind. “I know he's mostly doing it because of me. I'm not stupid, I see the signs.”

“Well,” she paused. There was no point denying it, but Clara still felt the need to soften the blow a little, especially after what had happened this morning. “He wants to be married to you-”

Liz scoffed. “But he thinks weddings are silly,” she finished Clara's sentence. “I know. I figured. He told me you went to a wedding last weekend. I just wanted to know how he liked it.”

Clara felt completely taken aback and only now she realized that John had probably told his fiancée the truth about everything they had done to plan the wedding so far. The visiting of the venues, the trip last weekend. He wouldn't have had any reason to lie to Liz. Except now that they had given him one this morning.

“He thought it was too pompous,” she replied after a moment. “But we found a location that he liked. I don't know if he told you.”

“He didn't,” Liz replied with a sigh. “He's been avoiding me lately and I think it's because of the wedding. He doesn't want to do things the way I want to do them and he hates a discussion.”

A frown appeared on Clara's face as she looked at Liz. “What do you want me to do about that?”

“Do whatever he wants,” she said simply. “If he wants a location or a caterer, book it. I don't mind. I just want him to come home for once.”

Clara's heart sank when she saw the expression on Liz' face and she realized that she was sitting in front of a woman who was scared. Liz was scared that John might not want to marry her and somehow Clara felt as if she carried at least part of the blame for that now after they had kissed.

So she nodded in agreement. “Alright, if that's what you want,” Clara replied and vowed to herself that from now on she would stop seeing John unless it was absolutely necessary. Something like this morning could never happen again.

* * *

Even though John tried his best, he simply couldn't find peace after what had happened this morning. Kissing Clara. Missy's confession that she and River had known about his daughter all along. While he was supposed to tend to his patients, John kept wondering why his own wife had kept his daughter a secret from him and the image of Clara's sweet face kept popping up in his mind and the more time passed the more guilty he felt about their kiss. He had overstepped their boundaries and he needed to apologize for that, so as soon as the last patient had left, John grabbed his jacket and an umbrella and headed out into the pouring London rain.

It took him a painfully long bus ride until he eventually arrived at Clara's office and despite the umbrella, John's coat dripped all over the floor the moment he stepped inside.

“Clara, I need to talk to you,” he blurted out as soon as he had made sure she was alone, but to his dismay, he realized that she was packing her bag.

“I can't talk now,” she replied and John was sure he didn't imagine things when he thought her voice sounded harsh. “I'm on my way to a client.”

“It won't take long, I promise,” John half panted from having run all the way from the bus stop in an attempt to arrive in a relatively dry state.

In response, Clara raised her head – and glared at him. John gulped audibly when he spotted the cold look on her face. “Not now,” she repeated gruffly. “In case you haven't noticed, I have a business to run and you're not my only client.”

She slipped her jacket on and crossed the room while John felt a little too dumbfounded to speak. He had messed up this morning, he knew that much, but he wasn't aware he had messed up so badly to deserve this kind of treatment. So John did the only thing he could think of.

“I'm sorry about this morning,” he apologized quickly. “I know I crossed the line and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-”

John broke off when Clara glared at him again and he knew he couldn't continue. He would be a liar if he said he hadn't wanted to kiss her because he had. A part of him wanted to kiss her even now.

“We're friends,” he said instead. “I shouldn't have kissed you and it's not gonna happen again.”

“See, that's where you're wrong,” Clara snapped as she shouldered her bag and opened the door. A gust blew a few raindrops into the room. “We're not friends. You're my client and nothing more. Close the door when you leave.”

 

John felt as if Clara had driven a dagger through his heart and for a moment she had rendered him utterly speechless. All he could do was watch her walk away, feeling as if he had been a nuisance to her the whole time while he had really started to see her as a friend. Why had he ever expected anything else? Clara was a wedding planner and John was going to get married. Of course he was only a client to her.

Then he finally regained his speech. “At least take my umbrella!” John shouted after her. “You're gonna catch a cold!”

Yet Clara didn't even stop and instead vanished behind the next corner, leaving John on his own and just a little heartbroken.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *big group hug* Thank you so much, my lovely readers :)

The more time passed the worse John actually felt about the kiss and the realisation that he missed Clara only made the unanswered calls and texts all the more unbearable. She hadn't even heard him out and even if he was only a client and not a friend like he had assumed, Clara should at least let him apologize. It wasn't until two days later when John received a call from the cleaners that he thought of a good excuse to see her, so he grabbed the garment bag containing his clean tunic from the wedding and headed towards her office – only to find it closed.

John tried again the next day and the day after and when he still couldn't reach Clara at her office on Thursday, he was beginning to grow a little uneasy. Why on earth was she not at work?

“Are you looking for Clara Oswald?”

John spun around and spotted the woman leaning out of the window of the photography studio. Clara had mentioned her, at least the name Sarah Jane Smith that he read in bright letters above the door rang a faint bell in his head.

“Yes,” he called over towards her. “She doesn't seem to have been in for the last few days.”

“She'll be back next week,” Sarah Jane Smith told him. “You can try again on Monday.”

“Is she alright?” John asked before he could stop himself.

Sarah Jane eyed him suspiciously and hesitated for a moment. “Are you a friend?”

“No.” John shook his head. He wished that he was. “Just a client.”

Again it took the woman a moment to reply. “I've seen you around here a lot lately.”

He shrugged. “Planning my wedding.”

“Clara is down with a cold,” Sarah Jane explained. “But she told me she'll definitely be back on Monday.”

 _Down with a cold._ John's heart sank a little when he thought about Clara being unwell even though he had told her that that would happen if she went into the rain without an umbrella. 

“Alright,” he replied in an almost robotic voice while his thoughts still circled around Clara. “I guess I'll come back next week.”

Sarah Jane Smith granted him a smile, but John was hardly aware of it. “Hope you'll book me for your wedding, by the way. Clara had me save the date for you.”

That was what finally gained his attention and John raised his head to look at her. “Date?” John wanted to know.

“23rd of September,” the woman laughed. “Your wedding.”

John couldn't remember setting a date and unless Liz had gone ahead and talked to Clara without him, he couldn't explain why he should be getting married on the 23rd of September. Which was less than three months from today. Now John knew that he needed to talk to Clara for more than one reason.

* * *

Clara groaned when the door bell rang and the mere thought of rising from the sofa caused her pain. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so sick that her entire body had ached, but she knew that from now on she would always carry an umbrella with her – and not decline the perfectly nice gentleman who offered her one.

When the ringing of the door bell sounded again, Clara finally lifted the blanket and rose to her feet, but not without uttering another groan. Whoever that was, Clara was determined to send them away as quickly as possible. Then it rang a third time.

“I'm coming!” Clara croaked as loudly as possible, hoping to voice her annoyance at the unannounced visitor before she had even opened the door.

“John,” she blurted out when she saw him, followed by a sneeze. Damn her cold, damn John for showing up here. “What are you doing here?”

“Bless you,” he replied with a hint of a smile while he held up a garment bag. “Came to bring you this. Fresh from the dry cleaners.”

Again an itch tingled in her nose and Clara had to sneeze. She watched John open his mouth, but Clara was determined to cut him off before he even had a chance to say it.

“If you say _I told you so_ , I'm going to brutally drown you in my herbal bath,” she growled and tore the garment bag out of his hand. But then Clara noticed the puppy dog eyes and the beaten look on his face and she sighed. “Thanks for bringing this over though.”

“I also came to apologize.”

Clara looked at him for a long moment and realized that he wasn't the only one who should be apologizing. She had treated him poorly and it felt like this cold was the right punishment for the things she had said to him.

“The kiss was completely out of line and I promise it will never happen again,” John said sincerely. “You're a professional and I mistook your kindness for friendship. I'm sorry if I've bothered you.”

“I should be the one to say sorry,” Clara said, but the rest of her sentence was interrupted by a sneeze.

“I think I better go,” he replied, but when he made an attempt to turn around, Clara reached for his arm and held him back. The truth was that she had missed him terribly these last few days and even though he had tried to call her, Clara had forced herself not to answer. But that didn't change the fact that she still missed him.

“Do you really think I would have taken you to Rose's wedding and shared a bed with you if you were only a client?”

It took John a moment until her words had sunk in, but as soon as they had, his face lit up. “Are you saying-”

Another sneeze drowned out the rest of his sentence, but Clara didn't even need to hear it to know what he had asked her. “Of course we're friends,” she replied, rolling her eyes.

John breathed a sigh of relief and Clara thought she could see the tension leave his body, but still, she felt the need to explain her actions.

“I'm sorry I barked at you the other day,” she told him. “I was confused and stressed. I didn't mean it.”

He nodded in response. “It's okay,” he replied and made an attempt to step into her flat, taking Clara by surprise with this move.

“What are you doing?” Clara asked instantly.

John looked at her, seeming slightly puzzled. “I'm coming inside.”

“I'm really not the best company right now.”

A frown appeared on his face. “Exactly. You're ill and I'm a doctor,” he said. “And as a doctor and your friend, I have a duty of care.”

Clara gave in when she noticed the look on his face and stepped aside to let him in. If she was completely honest, Clara was glad of his company even though she probably shouldn't be. While John ordered her to stay on the sofa and Clara did as she was told, he retreated to the kitchen and she only heard him rummage through her cupboards.

“What are you doing?” Clara called out, her voice husky.

“Making soup,” John replied. “You stay put!”

She knew that any protest would have been fruitless, so Clara simply leaned back and pulled her blanket up to her chin. After all, it could be worse than having a nice, good looking man prepare her a meal. Yes, it could definitely be worse.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the sweet comments, guys :)

John took the bowl out of Clara's hand when she had finished and set it down on the coffee table while she lay back down, her head next to his legs. The TV was on silent, but John faintly recognized the TV show as one Donna liked to watch on occasions.

“What is it about?” he asked casually.

Clara cleared her throat. “Everyone is fighting for the throne cause they think they're the rightful heir.”

“And who is it really?”

Clara craned her neck and smiled at him. “Spoilers,” she giggled.

John took a deep breath when he remembered all the things that weighed on his mind, all the things he hadn't been able to tell anyone yet. “River used to say that. In fact, she said it a lot.”

“Do you still miss her?” Clara wanted to know.

He sighed, unsure of whether he could burden her with his emotional mess in her state, but when he hesitated for just a second too long, Clara obviously realized that there was something wrong and she sat back up, waiting for him to start talking.

“I recently found out that she knew about Susan,” John confessed. “And so did Missy.”

“ _What?!_ ”

He nodded gravely. “Missy saw her at my place and started asking questions, so I had to tell her that Susan was my daughter. And in return, she confessed that she had known from the beginning. River had told her.”

“They kept this from you?” Clara asked, the disbelief audible in her voice. She sat up for good and looked at him, her eyes large with just a hint of sadness.

“Susan thinks her mum's diaries might shed some light on the whole matter. She hasn't found them all yet. I mean, I obviously can't ask River and I don't trust Missy to tell me the truth. Not anymore.”

“I don't blame you,” she breathed in reply and reached for her teacup before taking a long sip. “That's quite a lot to take in, finding out that your wife lied to you about something so big.”

“I have no idea what to make of it,” John admitted. “I knew River had secrets-”

“That is not something you should keep from your husband,” Clara interrupted him. “I'm sorry you had to find out.”

John nodded, but then he remembered the conversation he had had with Sarah Jane earlier today. He averted his eyes before he spoke to Clara. “Listen, I ran into your photographer earlier and she mentioned. . . well, she said you've set a date for my wedding.”

Clara hesitated and John raised his head once again and noticed that she looked a little bit stricken. “Liz came by my office on Monday,” she admitted.

“Okay?” John asked carefully, not sure where this conversation was headed.

When she swallowed hard, he knew that whatever was going to follow, it wouldn't be a pleasant topic. “She's scared, John,” Clara told him in a quiet voice. “She's afraid you don't want to marry her, so she asked me to book whatever you like for your wedding. The only thing she insisted upon was the date.”

John didn't know what to think. Yes, he hadn't exactly been a model fiancé and maybe he should have been a little more present when it came to planning the wedding, maybe he should have actually planned things together with Liz instead of only talking to Clara about it. But Clara understood him, at least that was what he had believed until now.

“And you went ahead and booked it,” John realized.

Clara nodded. “I'm sorry. I know I should've talked to you before-”

Her words were cut off by a coughing fit and John was instantly reminded that Clara was ill and that he shouldn't stress her out by talking about her job and his wedding when she had other, more pressing problems. His wedding was still over two months away, the details could wait and he would have a word with Liz later. John wouldn't just allow her to go over his head, no matter what.

“You need to rest,” he told her strictly and patted the pillow next to his legs. “Come on, let's watch that show about that throne everyone wants so badly.”

Still, Clara raised her eyebrows at him and bit down on her lip. “You're mad, aren't you?”

John shook his head, granting her a soft smile. “No, you just did your job. And you're great at that.”

“But you're mad at Liz.”

He was, in fact, mad at her. Once again a woman had gone over his head and decided something for him, but this time John wouldn't just stand by and do nothing. No, he would give in so easily.

“One question,” John said. “Is this final?”

“Why?” Clara frowned at him. “Are you having second thoughts?”

John sighed, but he couldn't answer Clara's question so easily. The truth was that he kept thinking about what she had said to him at Rose's wedding, that he shouldn't settle for second best, he kept wondering whether Liz might be exactly that or whether she was truly the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. John wasn't sure of anything anymore. With River, everything had been easier and there had been a lot less thinking about it beforehand. Maybe if he had reconsidered back then, a lot of things wouldn't have happened and she wouldn't have lied to him about his daughter. Maybe if he had talked to Liz about his doubts, she wouldn't have gone ahead and booked everything without consulting him.

But John knew that he couldn't just not marry her. Without Liz, he would still be alone and he knew that he owed her too much to just abandon her now, months before the wedding.

“So?” Clara pressed, her frown deepening.

John smiled at her. “Didn't I tell you to rest?”

“Fine,” she growled in response before she reached for the remote and switched the volume back on and rested her head on the pillow next to him.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked carefully.

“No,” Clara replied almost instantly, but her voice sounded weary and tired. She needed sleep. “A bit of company is nice.”

“Alright, I'll stay for a bit,” John agreed and leaned back on the sofa, his head turned towards the telly. 

He had no idea what the TV show was about, but there certainly was a lot of bloodshed happening, so he decided to look at Clara instead. She had closed her eyes already and John reached out to stroke a stray strand of hair out of her face and fasten it behind her ear. In response, a smile appeared on Clara's face and John decided to leave his hand exactly there, stroking her hair until she either fell asleep or told him to stop.

“This is nice,” she murmured.

John decided to close his eyes as well and just enjoy the moment. He had had an exhausting day at the office and he just needed a moment of rest as well. “Yes,” he agreed. “Yes, it is.”

And without really wanting to, John found himself slowly drifting off to sleep. In his dream, he stood at the altar of a small church and his bride came walking down the aisle, small and beautiful in her flowing, white gown and John felt like he the happiest man on earth when Clara finally came to a halt next to him and took his hand. In his dream, there wasn't a single doubt in his head that marrying her was the one thing he truly wanted.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments :) Now, let's see how our favourite idiots continue to deal with their feelings. . .

“Is everything alright?”

John looked up from his ice cream and stared straight into Susan's face. There was a hint of worry in her expression and he realized that he hadn't actually paid a lot of attention to the story about the strange customer at her new job. All of a sudden he felt a pang of guilt.

“I'm sorry,” John apologized instantly and forced himself to smile. “The customer couldn't find his wallet?”

“Nevermind the customer,” she said, frowning at him. “You seem distracted. Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all,” he lied. At least as long as he didn't think about it too much.

John turned his attention back to the ice cream in his bowl and noticed that the heat had already reduced it to a not so appealing strawberry soup. He dropped the spoon and leaned back in his chair. “I don't wanna bother you with it.”

Susan shrugged. “I'm your daughter. You can bother me with anything,” she replied. “And it's probably a lot more important than the customer who misplaced his wallet in his dog's backpack.”

“Where?”

“Nope, you're not diverting the subject now,” his daughter insisted. “Tell me what's bugging you.”

John sighed, knowing that he had no other choice but to tell her now. Susan was as stubborn as Patti had been and there was no chance she would give up. “I think I'm having second thoughts about the wedding,” John confessed.

Susan leaned a little closer and eyed him from across the table. “Second thoughts as in cold feet or you're really not sure if it's the right thing to do?”

“I don't know,” he breathed. “Marrying Liz seems like absolutely the right thing to do. We've been together for a few years, she loves me, I can see myself growing old with her.”

A frown lined his daughter's forehead as she squinted her eyes at him. “No,” Susan replied simply.

“No?”

“No, according to your description it doesn't seem like the right thing to do at all. Do you love her?” his daughter wanted to know.

“That's a silly question,” John retorted.

“Well, do you or do you not?”

He inhaled deeply before he spoke. “Yes, I do,” John paused, “in a way.”

That last remark only raised his daughter's eyebrows further.

“You don't love every person equally. The love I had for my first wife was completely different to the love I felt for your mother, but I did love them both. Liz. . . she's. . . different, too.”

“But that's not why you're in doubt, is it?”

John hesitated for a moment, wondering if his daughter might judge him for fancying a much younger woman, wondering how she would react. “There is someone else,” he replied carefully.

“Is it the wedding planner that you can't shut up about?” Susan giggled and John realized that he should have known. His daughter was too smart, of course she would see right through him. She had probably seen it coming for days or even weeks.

“It's silly, I know,” John said in reply. “And I know there is no chance of anything actually happening. Clara is so much younger than I am, she's way out of my league, she's-”

“Your wedding planner,” Susan finished his sentence.

John sighed. “I know,” he admitted. “I'm not hoping that there'll ever be anything between us, I wouldn't do that to Liz. But-”

He broke off, unsure of how to explain it. The wedding they had attended together, the kiss, the dreams that had started to haunt him since, all of that told him that he could no longer deny his feelings for her. Somehow they just seemed to connect.

Suddenly Susan reached out and took his hand, giving it a soft squeeze while she smiled at him. “What will you do?” she wanted to know.

John shrugged. “Marry Liz,” he said determinedly. “I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.”

“Dad, you shouldn't marry her if you're not sure,” Susan told him and his heart skipped a little beat. She had never called him _Dad_ before and somehow that little word suddenly lifted his spirits. This wonderful, young woman was really beginning to see him as her father and John realized that no matter what happened to all the other women in his life, he had a daughter and no one was going to take her away from him. Maybe he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life alone after all.

“There's something else,” Susan said after a moment and let go of his hand to reach into her backpack. John watched her draw out a small journal. “I found the rest of Mum's diaries. I think you'll find this one enlightening.”

His daughter placed it on the table in front of him and John noticed a small bookmark in between the pages, but still he raised his head to look at Susan. “I can't read someone else's diary.”

“You should,” she told him. “I don't think Mum would mind, at least not that part. And you have a right to know.”

After a sigh, John reached out and took the journal. Maybe Susan was right and even if she wasn't, Patti would hardly come back from the dead to take her revenge.

* * *

“Do you think sunflowers would work for a bouquet?”

Clara's head shot up when she realized she hadn't heard a word of what her friend had just told her and vowed to pay attention from now on. “Sorry, what?”

“Sunflowers,” Amy repeated. “For my wedding bouquet.”

“Oh, uhm, yeah,” Clara spluttered. “I think that would suit you.”

With a heavy sigh, her friend put the floristry catalogue aside and looked straight at her. “Are you still unwell or are you thinking about John?”

For a moment Clara considered lying to her best friend, but she realized that that would probably be an unsuccessful endeavour. Amy knew her too well for that.

“He came by place last week,” Clara explained. “I was really sick and he took care of me.”

A mischievous smirk spread across Amy's face. “Took care of you?” she chuckled.

“Not in that way,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “He made me soup and tea and he stayed with me.”

“Did he kiss you again?” Amy wanted to know.

Clara shook her head. “No, we agreed that that was a mistake and that we're just friends,” she explained and suddenly her mind wandered back to their last meeting. Clara hadn't wanted John to leave at all. “He was so gentle. He just sat next to me and stroked my hair. It was-”

“Cute? Romantic?”

“I don't know,” she admitted. Clara really didn't know what to make of the nature of her relationship with John. He was more than a client and the feelings she had for him were stronger than the feelings for a friend.

Suddenly Amy sat up straight. “You know what I think?”

Clara raised her eyebrows in response.

“I think he likes you back,” her best friend told her. “I think he has feelings for you, too.”

She scoffed. “Don't be silly. He's gonna get married in two months and I'm not a homewrecker. Even if I'm in love with him, I'm not gonna steal him away from his fiancée.”

“Alright,” Amy said, shrugging while she leaned back in her chair. “Suit yourself. Just saying that if you went for it, you could probably steal him away in a heartbeat.”

Clara considered her friend's words for a moment. Maybe Amy was right, but even if she was, there was no way Clara would willingly sabotage John's relationship.

* * *

John had to silence his guilty conscience somehow, especially after he had confessed to his daughter that he had feelings for another woman. So he went to the nearest flower shop and bought a huge bouquet before he made his way towards Liz' house to surprise her. Yet when he briefly stopped at his own house to get a change of clothes, John was the one to be surprised when he found Liz standing in front of his door.

“Liz, uhm,” he stammered. It was useless to hide the bouquet now. His fiancée had already seen it. However, she didn't seem at all delighted. “What are you doing here?”

“I figured it out,” she growled. “I know why you don't want to marry me.”

John stopped dead in his tracks and stared at her. Whatever she thought she had figured out, Liz had to be wrong. There was no way she could know what was going on inside his head. Not unless someone had given her an idea.

Liz crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I know you're in love with a younger woman,” she spat and John's heart sank to his boots. Liz knew.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments :) Now, let's see what Liz found out and how John is going to react. . .

For a moment all John could do was gawk at her, wondering how on earth Liz had figured it out. Had he been so obvious? Were his feelings for Clara really visible to the whole world when he himself hadn't even been aware of them until recently?

“I, uhm,” he spluttered, but found that he had no idea what to say to her. He was a terrible liar, always had been, but Liz cut him off before he could even think of something.

“Don't even try to deny it, John. I saw you today!” Liz barked at him and in response, a frown spread across his face. He hadn't seen Clara since last week, so whatever Liz thought she knew, it couldn't be the truth. At first, a brief feeling of relief washed over him until John realized just exactly what Liz had witnessed. The moment of truth had come, he knew it.

“Liz, I can explain-” he tried to say, but once again she interrupted him.

“I saw you at the ice cream parlour, holding hands!” she raised her voice, almost shouting now. “What could there be to explain?!”

“Susan is not who you think she is!” John raised his voice in return, feeling that his fiancée would never listen to him otherwise.

That stopped her rant long enough for John to unlock the door. He held it open for Liz and gestured inside. “Please, come in. I'll explain everything.”

To his relief, Liz eventually gave in and followed him inside the house and up to his flat, yet she refused to sit down when he offered her a seat.

“These are for you, by the way,” John confessed meekly and help up the flowers, but Liz' face was a cold mask. She didn't even blink at his gesture and John realized that he wouldn't get anywhere until she had gotten her explanation. He placed the flowers aside and took a deep breath.

“Okay, what I'm about to tell you is quite a long story-”

“I've got all the time in the world,” she spat.

“Will you at least sit down for that because it's making me nervous,” John growled and finally Liz sank down on the nearest chair, but he didn't feel like sitting at all. Instead, he paced his lounge for a moment, trying to think of the best way to start. But there was no good way to tell her about Susan, was there?

“Susan is my daughter,” John blurted out when he couldn't take it anymore and he turned around and looked at Liz, trying to judge her reaction from her face, but found only an expression of disbelief.

“You have a daughter?!” She gasped. “Why have you never told me about her?!”

He sighed and finally sat down in the other chair, looking straight at Liz. “I only found out a while ago,” John admitted. “I wanted to get to know her before. . . before telling anyone.”

Liz seemed to consider his words for a moment and John realized that it was only a matter of time before she had done the math. Then the lines on her face deepened.

“She's not River's daughter, is she?”

John shook his head.

Liz huffed and turned her gaze away from him, making John feel a little uneasy. It was the reason he hadn't wanted to tell her, because he had known she wouldn't take it well, but right now he felt too scared to speak up and explain it.

“You cheated on your wife,” his fiancée said eventually, glowering at him.

“No, I didn't,” John replied calmly. “River and I had a phase-”

“ _A phase?!_ ”

“Can you please let me finish?!” he barked at her and Liz twitched at the sudden sharpness of his voice. He quickly cleared his throat, instantly feeling guilty for having snapped at her. “River and I had been married for a while and we both decided to see other people outside of our marriage. While River had a couple of one night stands, I started an affair with a woman named Patti.”

John paused, waiting for Liz to say something, but she showed no reaction whatsoever.

“It only lasted a few months before River and I decided to end the experiment and I broke up with Patti. I never knew that she was pregnant with Susan and I only found out when she came to my office.”

“When was that?” Liz demanded to know, her voice ice cold.

John hesitated. “About two months ago.”

She gasped. “When were you gonna tell me?!” Liz almost shouted at him again. “Were you _ever_ gonna tell me?!”

“After the wedding,” John replied ruefully.

“The wedding you don't even want to have.”

“I want to have the wedding!” he argued even though he wasn't sure about that right now. John wasn't sure of anything anymore. “I just don't want to celebrate it in a castle with historical costumes and 100 guests! That's too much, Liz. That's not who I am!”

“Why didn't you say so before?!”

“I did! You chose not to listen!”

In response, Liz rose from her seat and clutched her purse in her hand. “Well, you can have it your way now,” she spat and before John could react, Liz had stormed out of the door, slamming it shut behind her.

 

For a brief moment, John considered going after her, but he knew that it would amount to nothing. Liz was angry and probably rightly so, but John also had valid reasons to be mad. She had set a date without even asking him and right now he felt like cancelling everything just to spite her. They both needed a while to calm down.

So instead of running after his fiancée, John drew out Patti's journal and opened it at the bookmark before he started to read.

_Today I had a very awkward encounter at the supermarket. Susan is still fussing because of a mild fever, so I decided to take her to the shop with me to get some fresh air. I didn't think I'd ever see River again, especially not in this part of London, but of course I ran into her while I was out with Susan. We said hello like the polite adults we are, but I was eager to be my way before she noticed the baby – of course I had no such luck. River knew as soon as she looked at Susan and I could tell from her face that she was more than a little shocked. I was surprised when she asked me to get a cup of coffee, but for some reason, I agreed and I think it was good that I did. We talked about John and I was happy to hear that he's doing well. Even though I know I'm never going to see him again, I wish him only the best and I still think about him very often. Of course, River wanted to know if I intended to tell him about the baby, but I reassured her that that would never happen. I told her about the new man in my life, told her he was a great father to Susan. We both agreed that there was no reason to trouble John because we both know him too well. He would want to do the right thing and be part of Susan's life, but I don't think that would be in my daughter's best interest. River agreed with me. I'm going to get married soon and Susan will have a proper family. I know I'm denying my daughter a chance to meet the wonderful man that is her biological father, but does she really need two dads? I don't know. I only know it would complicate not only my family's life but also that of John. That's not what any of us wanted when we started seeing each other and it's the exact reason we ended our relationship. I'm glad River and I agreed on that, but I hope I'll never run into her ever again. I saw the way she looked at Susan, at my innocent daughter who had nothing to do with any of it, and I saw that she was glad to have us out of her life._

John placed the diary aside and inhaled deeply. So River had found out by accident and even though he tried to be mad, he was slowly beginning to understand why she had kept it from him and why Patti hadn't wanted John to find out. They both knew him too well. They knew he would have wanted to be there for Susan, complicating her life and everyone else's. Just like Patti, John wasn't sure if it had been the right decision, but he knew that no matter what happened next, Susan was in his life now and no one would ever take his daughter away from him again.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely, slightly impatient comments :D John and Liz obviously have their issues right now, but what about John and Clara?

Clara could think of a lot of pleasant things to do on a nice Sunday afternoon and showing the man she had a crush on and his fiancée around a wedding venue was certainly not on that list. She could be home, reading a book, watching her favourite TV show, she could be in a lovely café with her best friend, but no, she had to be at Wilton's Music Hall with John and Liz. Yet it didn't slip her attention that neither of them seemed very eager to be here.

John was quiet and didn't say much as she led them around the venue. Liz kept a disdainful look on her face and Clara didn't need to ask her to know that she hated it. Well, it was too late now. She was the one who had told Clara to go ahead and book the location that John liked and Clara had done exactly that. Yet he didn't seem very happy about it either.

Clara hadn't heard from him in over a week and it was highly unusual because he was usually the one to text her or call her or ask her how she was. Something was off, Clara could feel it.

“Have you had a chance to check out the bands that I recommended?” she asked just to break the silence. “I mean, I'm assuming you'll want music.”

“Uhm.” John cleared his throat. “No, I haven't had the time yet.”

“Of course not, you've been hanging out with your illegitimate daughter every day,” Liz snapped and turned towards Clara, shooting her a dark look. “I've listened to the bands.”

So that was why the air between them was so icy. Liz had found out about Susan and, just as John had predicted, she wasn't okay with it. For a moment Clara felt too baffled to speak, but she knew better than to voice her opinion on the matter. If Liz found out that Clara had known about Susan, all hell would break loose. Not to mention what would happen if she ever found out about the kiss.

“So, uhm, did you like them?” Clara asked instead.

“No,” Liz deadpanned.

An awkward silence spread over Wilton's Music Hall and Clara felt slightly at a loss. Both John and Liz were obviously in a bad mood and fighting among each other. It was nothing Clara should concern herself with, but they had still dragged her into an uncomfortable situation that Clara would very much like to get out of.

“I could possibly look up more bands?” she suggested hopefully.

Liz snorted. “Don't bother,” she replied and glowered at John. “Apparently John is in charge of this wedding now. Just do whatever he likes or he'll go behind my back again anyway.”

“I don't care about the band, Liz. Just pick the one you like. And I wasn't the one to go behind your back,” he told her.

“I don't like any of them!” she said, raising her voice at him. “And if I pick one you don't like, it'll take you two months to tell me and by then it'll be too late to make a change. No, it's your turn now. You decide.”

Liz jabbed John's chest with her index finger and Clara watched John open his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by the ringing of Liz' phone. She noticed him breathe a sigh of relief.

 

When Liz took the phone call, it soon turned out that a friend of her was in dire need of some girl talk and she brusquely excused herself. Both John and Clara watched her leave, but not without glancing around the hall one last time.

“She hates it,” John told her, his voice heavy with defeat.

“Yep, she does,” Clara confirmed and turned around to look at John. She forced herself to smile at him. “What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged. “I don't even know if she genuinely hates it or if she's doing this to spite me. Liz found out about Susan last week,” he admitted.

“So I've heard,” Clara breathed in reply. “How did that go?”

John raised his eyebrows at her, but after a few seconds, he started to laugh. “Not well,” he said. “Things aren't exactly harmonious between us right now. She's mad that I kept Susan a secret from her, I'm still mad she just went to you and set a date. Right now I really just wanna get this wedding over with. We fight every time the topic comes up. We can't agree on anything.”

With a sigh, Clara sat down on the edge of the stage, her feet dangling in the air, and John took a seat next to her. They remained silent for a long moment and Clara realized that there were so many things going through her head right now that she didn't even know what to say. She should attempt to cheer John up, tell him that everything was going to be fine, that lots of couples squabbled over their wedding just like he and Liz did. She really should make an attempt to be nice, but there was this tiny, selfish voice inside of her that wanted them to blow off the whole thing. Clara silenced it whenever it came up.

“I'm torn,” John admitted after a long while.

Clara turned her head, looking right at him, but he didn't meet her gaze. “About what?”

“Liz. The wedding. Everything,” he said quietly. “When I wake up I'm determined to go through with it no matter what, make her happy, give her her dream wedding, grow old with her, but when I go to sleep I wonder what would happen if I didn't.”

“I think she'd leave you.” Clara's voice was almost a whisper when she spoke.

John nodded. “I think so, too.”

“But you don't want to be alone.”

Finally, John looked at her and there was a sad smile on his face that suddenly made her heart ache. The selfish voice was gone in an instant. Clara liked him too much to want to see him unhappy, but he was unhappy right now.

“If it's any consolation, a lot of couples fight about the wedding,” she told him and started to chuckle. “I keep saying I need CCTV installed in my office because the fights that happen there are soap opera material. Great for a movie night with your best friend and a bowl of popcorn.”

The smile on John's face remained unchanged and he never said a word. She racked her brain for something else to say, anything to cheer him up.

“Don't worry too much about it,” Clara said. “Liz just found out about your daughter, she didn't take it well. Give her some time to get used to the idea and I'm sure some of your other issues will work themselves out.”

Yet John didn't reply. His eyes were glued to her face and it was beginning to make Clara a little uneasy. She knew that look, that strange look that she had seen on his face before and she knew what was about to happen, but she was powerless to stop it. And a part of her didn't want to stop it at all as John reached out and cupped her face in his hands, drawing her closer to his face until their lips locked in a kiss.

He was so gentle with her in everything he did and Clara thought it was the reason she found it impossible to push him away. She had missed being close to a man, she had missed the gentle touch, the feeling of someone else's lips on her own, the butterflies in her stomach and the strange tingling on her skin. Clara had fallen in love with him and there was no way out of this for her. She was weak.

John opened his mouth to her when their kiss deepened and one of his hands slid down her back, holding her, pulling her closer until she fell against his chest. Just for a moment, Clara decided to forget that he was her client while she yielded to his kiss.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *group hug for the faithful readers* Thank you so much :)

John was fully aware that what he was doing was wrong, yet all the guilt in the world wasn't enough to make him stop. Clara was the first thing he thought about when he woke up in the morning and the last before he went to sleep. In his dreams, John kissed her almost every single night, but the reality was so much better than that. He had expected her to push him away, but when she didn't, John's heart skipped a beat as he realized that Clara wanted this kiss as much as he did. Even in his wildest dreams, this possibility hadn't occurred to him.

She only broke the kiss when they were running out of air and when John looked at her beautiful face, he couldn't help but smile.

“Is that wise?” Clara asked him, sounding a little breathless, but nevertheless, she smiled at him in return.

John chuckled. “Absolutely not.”

In a swift movement, John rose to his feet and pulled Clara up with him. It was obvious that he had caught her by surprise because she fell right back into his arms, against his chest, and John cupped her face in his hands once again and kissed her. He didn't want to stop. Why did they have to? Why did she have to be his wedding planner? Why couldn't he have met her years ago? By now John recognized his feelings for Clara for what they truly were. He was in love. It was a strange, almost foreign sensation by now after so many years, but he was in love with Clara Oswald.

Yet after a moment, Clara eventually pushed him away in a gentle manner. “John,” she whispered and averted her eyes. “I don't think this is such a good idea.”

“I never said it was,” he replied for lack of anything else to say. John didn't want to think about Liz or his wedding, he didn't want to be reasonable. For the first time in ages, he was truly in love, but John knew from experience that it was possible to love more than one person. He loved Liz out of gratitude because she had come into his life when he had truly needed someone and she had stayed until now. He didn't have a single doubt that she would stay with him until the end. John couldn't hurt her, he couldn't cheat or call off the wedding. But he was also in love with Clara. Would she stay with him, too? John couldn't say.

When the confusion in his head grew too much to bear, John finally pulled away from her and the spell that had compelled him to kiss her was broken. What on earth was he doing?

“You and Liz will be fine,” Clara told him, her voice small and broken. Then she repeated the words she had already spoken earlier and she said them almost as if to remind herself. “Lots of couples fight before their wedding. It's normal. You're just getting cold feet, that's all.”

John nodded slowly even though he knew it wasn't just that. He would have fallen for Clara under any circumstances.

_Under any circumstances._

A strange thought crossed his mind as he looked at her right now and John wasn't quite sure where it was coming from. He had run into Clara by chance at the bar and he would never have seen her again if Missy hadn't hired her as his wedding planner. Missy, his sister, the one person who might know him better than he knew himself. Why had she chosen Clara?

“Maybe,” he found himself saying even though he was still lost in thought. John needed some time to think. “I should probably leave. But what do we do about the venue?”

Clara shrugged and finally smiled at him again. “Well, Liz told me to book it. I did. Bit late now to change your mind and she didn't explicitly say no to it.”

John smirked at her in response. “No, she didn't. I guess we'll leave it as it is for now.”

 _For now._ As if there was still a way out of this for him. John sighed. No matter what happened now, he was going to get married and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it anymore.

* * *

In a way, Clara was right and John was fully aware of that. A wedding was a big thing and it was probably natural for couples to fight about the details. On top of everything, John had kept his daughter a secret from his bride-to-be and Liz had every reason to be mad about that, so he bought another bouquet of flowers and headed in the direction of Liz's house to apologize to her once again.

“John,” Liz blurted out in surprise, but he could tell from her face that it wasn't an unpleasant one. “I didn't expect to see you today. Didn't you say you still had paperwork to do?”

“The patient files can wait another day,” John said and cracked a smile as he held up the flowers. “I wanted to apologize again.”

Liz hesitated for a moment, but as the corners of her mouth twitched, John could tell that she had already forgiven him even before she took the flowers and invited him inside.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sank into his favourite armchair while Liz took her spot on the sofa and refilled her wine glass. Yet John hadn't come here for just the apology. He had also come with a suggestion.

“I know I shouldn't have lied to you about Susan,” he repeated. “I should have told you after our first meeting and there's probably nothing that can justify that I've kept her a secret from you for so long.”

In response, Liz only nodded and took a sip from her wine.

“I was confused,” John admitted. “I hadn't expected her to appear out of nowhere. I mean, who _would_ expect that?”

He uttered a nervous laugh, but he knew that he had to get the rest out as well before his courage failed him.

“Susan is a wonderful, young woman and even though I haven't known her for that long, I already sort of love her. And I want her to come to the wedding. I already invited her,” he confessed and the expression that crossed over Liz's face was again one of surprise. “But I also want you to meet her before that.”

Liz blew the air out between her teeth and set down her glass while John eagerly waited for her response. But she didn't say anything for a painfully long moment.

“I don't really understand what went on between you and your first wife. I don't understand why you would. . . do what you did. Isn't one woman in your life enough?”

Her question took John by surprise and he wasn't quite sure what to say to that. John would have loved to tell her that, yes, he was more than happy to be with one person for the rest of his life, but now, after kissing Clara, wouldn't that be a lie? He still felt so confused about that.

“It was River's idea, one I didn't mind at that point,” John tried to explain. “We both agreed on it. I don't know what else to say.”

Liz nodded and John watched her swallow hard. “I can forgive that. I mean, it's not even up to me to judge you for something that happened in your first marriage, for something that happened consensually. But you can't blame me for being. . . concerned. I mean, what if you decide in a few years that I'm not enough for you, that you want to have an affair again?”

“That's not gonna happen,” John promised. “I would never ask that of you.”

“But what if you don't ask?”

Liz looked up, staring straight at him, and suddenly John thought her eyes could see right into his soul, see what he had already done and he felt a pang of guilt. He wouldn't cheat, not with Clara and not with anyone else, John vowed to himself right then and there.

“I'm sorry,” she apologized quickly. “I'm not ready to meet your daughter yet. She can come to the wedding, but I need some time to get used to the idea before I meet her properly.”

John nodded in agreement, but there was a bad feeling in his stomach, one that told him Liz would never truly accept Susan, not now, not after the wedding.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments, guys :) This last week before my holidays is draaaaaaaaagging, but reading your comments always brightens up my day :)
> 
> Now, John seems to have made his decision, but temptation is always around the corner. . .

When Clara didn't hear from John in over two weeks, she thought it was for the best. After their second kiss, she had realized that what Amy had told her was probably the truth. John liked her and she liked him in return, but Clara knew that she couldn't possibly interfere with his upcoming wedding – except for what she had been hired to do. And that was the only reason she made her way towards his office because the date was slowly coming closer and closer and there was still a lot left to be planned. Yet it was hard to silence that little voice inside her head that was eager to see John simply because she missed him.

“Hey,” Clara greeted him with a smile as she stuck her head through his office door. “Am I interrupting your lunch break? Martha told me to go right through.”

At first, John looked confused, then a smile spread across his face and he gestured for her to step inside.

“Hi,” he replied coyly. “I completely forgot that you and Martha know each other.”

“Yep,” she confirmed while she closed the door behind her. “Planned her wedding and all. Which is why I'm here.”

Clara noticed that the corners of his mouth twitched when she mentioned the wedding, but she decided to ignore it. This wasn't the time for false hope.

“You still haven't decided on a band and, you know, we're running out of time here, so I got you a little surprise,” Clara explained.

John raised his eyebrows in response. “You booked a band and I don't have to worry about it anymore?” he asked hopefully.

“Not quite.” She chuckled and drew the concert tickets out of her jacket pocket, placing them neatly on John's desk with a broad grin. “This is a great band and they're not usually available for weddings, but I went to school with the lead singer and he still owes me a lot of favours for endless hours of tutoring. And I got you three tickets for a gig they're gonna play in a small club on Friday night.”

With knitted eyebrows, John reached for the tickets and took a closer look at them while Clara went on to explain her motives behind the present.

“You should take Liz and your sister,” she told him. “Listen to the band, tell me if you like them.”

“Do _you_ like them?” he wanted to know.

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah,” Clara agreed. “I mean, it's different. It's not what you would usually hear at a wedding, but that's the exact reason I thought you might like them.”

“Oh, I'm sure I will,” John replied and he granted her a smile. Even now, with his desk between them, it made her knees a little weaker.

“Uhm,” she spluttered, “what makes you think that?”

“Oh, uhm,” John stammered and suddenly he seemed nervous. “I just. . . I don't know. We have a lot of other stuff in common. I just thought. . . nevermind.”

Clara was surprised when he slid one of the tickets back across the table and she heard him take a sharp breath. She had no idea what was going on, so she just raised her eyebrows at him.

“Well, Liz is gone for the weekend,” he explained. “And I'm not really talking to my sister right now, so-”

John broke off and pushed the ticket further in her direction.

“You want me to come with you?” Clara asked just to be sure she hadn't misunderstood him.

He smiled at her in reply. “Yeah. You said you like them, so why not?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “Why not?”

Clara could think of a lot of reasons why this was a bad idea, but when John looked at her, she just didn't have the heart to voice her doubts. They really shouldn't spend any more time together and this was not what she had intended when she had bought the concert tickets.

“I might bring Susan if you don't mind,” John went on. “We had plans for Friday, but I'm not sure if this music is her thing.”

“Of course,” Clara agreed instantly. Nothing could happen if his daughter was there as well. Susan was the perfect chaperone. “Please, you have to bring your daughter. I'm sure she'll love it.”

A strange smile crossed over his face when he looked at her and Clara wasn't entirely sure what it meant, but it didn't matter. She was going to spend some time with John and there was absolutely no danger to it at all. Everything was going to be perfect. Well, except for the fact that she was in love and John was going to marry someone else.

“I should go,” Clara said after a moment. “Meet you at the club on Friday?”

“Absolutely,” John replied, beaming at her.

* * *

“What are you doing on Friday night?” John asked enthusiastically and waited for his daughter to reply. She was a young woman, she probably had plans already, plans that didn't involve her father, but he really wanted to try.

“Uhm, not sure. Why?” Susan asked back. “Do you have suggestions?”

He cleared his throat. “Well, my wedding planner gave me concert tickets for a band that might be suitable for the wedding and told me to check them out.”

“Shouldn't you go with Liz?” his daughter wanted to know. “I mean, it's her wedding, too.”

“Liz is out of town for a spa weekend with friends,” he explained and John doubted that she would have accompanied him either way. “I'd hate to see those three tickets go to waste.”

“Well, in that case, count me in,” Susan replied happily, but then her tone changed all of a sudden. “Wait, who's the third? Not your sister, right?”

“Oh, uhm,” he hesitated. “Clara. She's, uhm, she's coming with us.”

There was a short pause on the other end of the line right before John heard a soft chuckle.

“What's so funny?” he demanded to know.

“Nothing, just. . . are you sure you want me there on your date?” Susan giggled.

“It's not a date!” John protested.

“You told me you kissed her. That gig is most definitely a date.”

“Clara got them for me and Liz!”

“Well, that plan has obviously changed and now it's a date.”

“It's not!”

His daughter sighed. “Are you absolutely sure you don't want to be alone with Clara?” Susan wanted to know and John didn't even have to think twice about it. He _wanted_ to be alone with Clara, which was exactly why it was such a bad idea and having Susan there was the perfect excuse. Nothing could happen in his daughter's presence.

“Yes,” John confirmed determinedly. “I want you there.”

Susan paused for a moment. “Fine, but. . .”

“But what?”

“Listen, I know we have only known each other for a few months and I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your life.”

“I feel like there's another but coming,” John growled.

“But if you're into Clara, you shouldn't get married to someone else. The way you talk about her, it sounds more than just a little crush to me,” Susan explained, her voice sincere. “She sounds perfect for you.”

John snorted. “She sounds young and out of my league,” he retorted. “It's basically cradle-snatching.”

“Alright,” she replied, still chuckling softly. “Suit yourself. I'll see you on Friday then?”

“See you on Friday,” he sighed and hung up.

 

In the back of his mind, John thought that maybe his daughter was right. Maybe he really shouldn't marry Liz when he was obviously in love with another woman. But what would his fiancée say if he left her for the wedding planner, a woman he would never have a real chance with? No, John couldn't possibly break her heart like that. He and Liz had lasted for years. His feelings for Clara would fade in time.

John would never see her again after the wedding and the thought about it was breaking his heart already.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the sweet comments, dears :) And you're right - who wouldn't love Susan XD

“Thanks,” John said sincerely when Susan handed him the bottle of beer and he turned around to have a look at the place. He had never been a big fan of clubs, but this one had more of a pub-like atmosphere with a punk-ish look to it. Somehow he couldn't imagine that the band playing here tonight would be suitable for a wedding. Not that John minded doing something unconventional, but he doubted that Liz would be on board with this.

“John, you need to lighten up,” his daughter told him with a chuckle.

He growled and shot her a dark look. “I am the oldest person here. I am raising the average age of this place!”

Susan giggled. “Well, at least you fit in,” she remarked and nodded towards his plaid trousers. “I think you're just nervous.”

“Why would I be nervous? It's just a gig,” John replied gruffly and sipped his beer.

He flinched and almost spilt his drink when Susan nudged him unexpectedly. “You know exactly why. Your crush is gonna be here any minute now.”

“For the last time,” he growled, rolling his eyes to show his annoyance, “I don't have a crush. Clara is a friend and my wedding planner and-”

His words died in his throat when the door opened and John looked up to see Clara step inside and he instantly knew that everything he had just told his daughter was a lie. His heart skipped a beat when he spotted her. Yes, he had a crush and Clara showing up in a tight leather skirt and a torn tank top wasn't exactly helpful. Most of the time his thoughts about her were purely innocent because John felt drawn to her for her humour and kindness, yet right now he couldn't deny that he was attracted to her in every possible way. Unfortunately for him, his daughter seemed to have noticed.

“That must be Clara,” Susan remarked, a smirk on her lips. “You're lucky.”

“I am not lucky!” John spat. “There's nothing going on between us.”

“Uh-huh,” she hummed. “Except for a kiss.”

“I”m gonna get married soon.”

“As you keep saying,” his daughter replied and jumped up from her seat. “Come on, let's say hi. You shouldn't keep your date waiting.”

“It's not a d-” John's protest got stuck in his throat when he realized that Clara had already noticed them and was making her way across the room.

John sat up quickly and set his beer aside, straightening his back to brace himself. Maybe this was a date. Maybe that was why he was nervous. He really needed to get his heartbeat under control.

“Hey, you're here already,” Clara said when she greeted him, a broad smile on her face. She pushed herself up on tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

John needed a second to regain his speech. “Uhm, hi,” he spluttered. What if this was a date? John was going to get married soon. He couldn't have a date with another woman.

Clara, on the other hand, didn't seem at all nervous or in doubt as she turned her head and smiled at Susan. “You must be Susan,” she said excitedly. “John has told me a lot about you.”

“Only the good stuff, I hope,” his daughter replied as she went to shake Clara's hand. “I mean, not that I've even told him the bad stuff yet. I left out the pregnancy and drug addiction. I was waiting for the right moment.”

“What?” John blurted out.

Both Clara and Susan giggled. “She's messing with you,” Clara explained and gave him a soft nudge and that was when John realized that the two women were getting along. Instantly. His heart sank a little at the thought of that.

“John has been praising you as well,” Susan went on. “Said you were a kickass wedding planner.”

“I doubt he used that word,” she replied, chuckling.

“So, uhm,” John threw in, “shall we walk towards the stage? Get a good spot?”

Clara smiled at him. “No need. We're VIPs tonight. I just gotta find the singer and let him know we've arrived,” she told him. “I'll be back in a moment.”

John could do nothing but watch her as she vanished among the crowd and he didn't think he had ever felt as confused as he was feeling right at this moment. Clara and his daughter were getting along and he had no idea why he wasn't sure what to think about that. Then his eyes wandered towards Susan and his daughter was winking at him.

“Stop it,” he muttered.

“She's perfect for you,” Susan chuckled. “Gorgeous, nice, sense of humour. And you're head over heels in love.”

“I said stop it.”

She shrugged and then nodded towards the stage where Clara was already waiting for them, waving towards John and Susan to join her in the VIP area.

“Let's just enjoy the gig, okay?” John said and headed towards Clara while Susan trailed after him. Maybe bringing her here hadn't been such a good idea after all.

 

The gig was amazing, just as he had expected and he and Clara really had a common taste in music. The leader singer was a young man with a rough and raspy voice and even though most of what they played was indeed punk, the slow and sad songs gave him goosebumps. John glanced towards Clara and she smiled at him in return. From the look on her face, he could tell that she knew he had chosen to book the band for his wedding and the thought about it once again made him sad. Not long and he would be married to Liz and the more time passed the more uncertain he grew that that was what he truly wanted. Susan was right. He was in love with Clara, but he couldn't just bail on Liz.

After the gig, Clara excused herself to talk to the singer for a moment and John and Susan walked back towards the bar where she ordered them both a drink. He sipped his beer absent-mindedly, his thoughts circling around the upcoming wedding once again.

“It's okay to change your mind,” his daughter told him as if she could read his mind. Patti had always done that and it seemed as if Susan had inherited the trait.

John shook his head. “Not about this.”

His daughter took a big sip from her cocktail. “I had a thing with this guy once and he was in love with another woman. I was crazy about him for a while, he liked me too, but he liked the other girl a bit more. I thought we could make it work if we both tried hard enough.”

“Why are you telling me this?” John wanted to know.

“Because you can't make it work,” she replied simply. “I dumped him after three months. I deserve better than a guy who keeps wishing I was someone else. I don't know your fiancée, but I'm sure she would back me up on this.”

“And did he ever get together with the other girl?”

Susan shook her head. “But that's not the point. The point is that we just weren't made for each other.”

“Or maybe he didn't try hard enough because any man would be lucky to have you,” John growled and all of a sudden he noticed the band's bass player staring in their direction. He had joined them at the bar after the gig and now that he came to think about it, hadn't he looked at them a couple of times during the gig? “That bass player certainly shares my opinion.”

A smirk spread across Susan's face and she glanced over her shoulder towards the young man. “Yep,” she confirmed smugly. “I think you're right.”

John chuckled. “Go and have some fun,” he told her. “You're young. You shouldn't be hanging out with your dad on a Friday night.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I'll be fine,” he replied with a dismissive gesture. “Don't worry about me.”

Susan giggled. “No, I mean you should have some fun as well,” his daughter told him.

It took him a moment to realize what Susan was referring to, but when he spotted Clara across the room, it suddenly hit him.

“Have some fun,” Susan told him as she rose from her seat to join the bass player at the other end of the bar and John was left alone with his doubts and the very bad idea his daughter had just put in his head.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, my faithful readers. Now let's see what "fun" things John and Clara get up to ;)

Clara wasn't entirely sure what was happening, but when John pulled her into an empty room at the back of the bar, she thought that she didn't actually mind not knowing what he was up to. Their lips collided the moment the door closed behind them when John pushed her up against the wall and even though she definitely liked what was happening, Clara couldn't help but giggle.

John pulled away in an instant. “Is something wrong?” he asked breathlessly.

“No,” Clara breathed, smiling at him. What they doing was most definitely wrong, but God, she wanted it. “This is just perfect.”

While what was left of her guilty conscience was still trying to tell her to stop, Clara reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled him back down to meet her. She parted her lips for him in an instant and John sank deeper against her chest, pressing his entire body against hers. His touch was sending sparks through her veins while he moaned into her mouth and Clara could think of only one thing: she wanted him to go all the way.

John certainly seemed eager enough to break all of his own rules as he started grinding against her. His hands slid down to her waist, keeping her in place with no space left between them and it occurred to Clara that maybe they were really made for each other. They just fit in every possible way. Amy was right. If she really tried, Clara could steal him away from Liz and right now the thought definitely crossed her mind.

They broke apart, panting, and Clara was relieved to find John smiling at her. What if she just went a step further? What if she just did it?

Without thinking much about it, Clara lowered her hands to his belt and gave it a tug to pull him back against her body before her hands started to slowly undo the buckle. She watched John swallow and an expression of doubt crossed his face. Clara vowed to wipe that away as best as she could.

“W-what are you doing?” he stammered nervously when she had finished undoing his belt.

Clara only smirked at him in reply, knowing that he was hard underneath his plaid trousers. She had felt it during their kiss.

Then something unexpected happened and John took a step back before he sighed heavily. “Why are you doing this to me?” he asked, more to himself as to her.

“John?”

He looked up and Clara's heart sank when she realized that the moment had passed because the look on his face was one of sheer torment.

“Why?” he breathed.

For a moment Clara had no idea what to say because he was right to ask. What was she even doing and why was she attempting to steal John away from Liz? It dawned on her then and there that she was the source of his torment and the realisation of it felt like a knife through the heart. Clara loved him and she was the one to cause him so much pain. He had come to her to plan his wedding to another woman, not so she could tempt him to act against his own moral code and cheat on his future wife. It had to stop.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered softly.

John let his head sink. “So am I,” he sighed.

They stood there in silence for a moment, Clara biting down on her lip and John fastening his belt and shuffling his feet nervously. Somehow she knew that this would be the last time she saw him. He would either decide to leave Liz or John would cut all ties with her. There really was no other way. The realisation almost brought tears to her eyes, but Clara vowed not to cry. Not in front of him.

“So?” she asked carefully, noticing how broken her voice sounded.

John looked back at her and granted her a soft and yet sad smile. “I'm not one of those guys,” he admitted. “I can't cheat and I hate myself for wanting to.”

Clara swallowed and nodded slowly. She was breaking his heart and even though she had tried to fight it, the tears were inevitable now.

John noticed it instantly and stepped forward, reaching out in an attempt to comfort her, but Clara evaded his touch.

“Please don't cry,” he almost begged her. “I-”

“Crying?” she forced herself to chuckle and put on a smile. “Who's crying? Certainly not me.”

“Clara-”

“I should go,” she reasoned and spun around on her heels before John had another chance of stopping her. He couldn't see her tears. That would only make everything worse.

 

Clara took her first real breath when she had finally left the club and she stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts. The whole evening had started out so well. She had met his daughter and they had enjoyed the concert. Of course there could only have been a bad ending to this idea night.

Sniffling, Clara finally wiped the tears out of her eyes and drew her phone out of her pocket. There was only one person she could call right now and that was her best friend.

* * *

John had been sitting at the bar for a while, staring into his drink rather than actually drinking it, when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. Startled by the unexpected touch, John spun around and for a tiny moment, he was disappointed to see Susan standing behind him and not Clara. If she came back right now, if she begged him to leave Liz, he would do it in heartbeat.

“Where's Clara?” Susan wanted to know.

John merely shrugged in response and his daughter hopped on the barstool next to him.

“I feel like I've messed up everything,” he admitted and then shook his head with a sigh. “Why am I even bothering you with this? You're my daughter, it should be the other way around. You should come to me with your problems and I should help you with them. I'm terrible at this. I'm a terrible husband and a terrible father and now that I think about it, I'm also a terrible friend because Donna called yesterday and I haven't called her back yet and-”

“Stop it,” Susan said strictly. “What happened with Clara?”

He shook his head. “I can't cheat on Liz. I made a promise and I'm going to stick to it.”

His daughter sighed. “We should probably get home,” she told him.

“What about the bass player guy?” John wanted to know. “I don't wanna ruin your evening.”

“You're not ruining anything,” Susan reassured him with a smile. “Come on, self-pity is bad, but it's even worse when there's a bar close by. Let's go home.”

John rose to his feet and when he looked into his daughter's face, he knew that she was right, but despite that, he couldn't help but feel like he had thoroughly messed up.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the sweet comments :) Well, it seems John is still plagued by doubts, but maybe his sister Missy can help with that?

When John stepped out of the taxi, he noticed a shadow lurking by his doorstep and something told him that his already ruined evening was about to get much, much worse. As he approached the house, the figured stepped into the light and John stared right into his sister's apologetic face.

“What do you want?” he barked at her. Missy was really the last person he wanted to see right now.

In reply, she held up a bottle and John rolled his eyes. Whenever he was mad at Missy, at some point she would always show up with a gift to apologize to him and that was usually a bottle of his favourite brand of Scotch, made and sold only at a small distillery in the Highlands.

“You drove all the way to Scotland just to apologize?” he asked in disbelief. They hadn't been up there in years. “You do realize that keeping my daughter a secret from me for decades is slightly worse than scratching my car?”

His sister snorted in reply. “Of course I didn't drive all the way up to Scotland. I keep a bottle just in case.”

John glowered at her.

“Also, you better accept this apology because this is my last one and as far as I know, the distillery closed down.”

With a sigh, John unlocked the door and held it open for Missy. He was in a bad mood, which was the only reason he decided to accept her apology because at least he wouldn't have to spend the rest of the evening on his own, alone with his thoughts.

 

They walked up to his flat without saying a word and while his sister sank down on the sofa, John fetched two glasses from the cupboard and poured the Scotch she had brought. He emptied his first glass in one go, the alcohol still burning in his throat when he poured a second.

“Rough night?”

“Not initially.”

Missy took a careful sip from her drink. “Why don't you tell me what happened?”

John glared at her. “Would you believe me if I told you I went to a concert with my daughter and the woman I'm in love with? That I almost slept with her until I remembered that I had promised Liz I wouldn't cheat? That she started crying and ran away, making me feel like the worst piece of garbage on the planet because I'm being unfair to her as well as Liz?”

When his sister didn't respond, John downed the Scotch and sank down on the sofa next to her.

“Yeah, I wouldn't believe it either,” he sighed.

They sat in silence for a while and John continued to sip his drink, hoping to drown that nasty feeling of doing the wrong thing no matter what he chose.

“Well, if you're in love with someone else,” Missy began carefully, yet her voice sounded awfully cheerful, “you probably shouldn't marry Liz. I mean, it doesn't really seem fair to anyone, least of all you.”

John turned his head and looked straight at Missy. There was something she was still not telling him, but he found it impossible to tell what that was. 

“Why did you hire Clara as my wedding planner?” he wanted to know. He had asked himself that question every day ever since Clara had stepped into his life and now was probably the only moment he might get an answer out of his sister.

Yet Missy only looked back at him and it took her a moment, but eventually, a smirk appeared on her face. She raised her glass to her mouth and took a sip.

That was the only answer John needed to know that Missy had planned it all. She had probably visited every single wedding planner in the city to find the one he was sure to fall for and her devious plan had worked. Until now.

“I just want what's best for you, John,” she told him and reached for the Scotch to pour him another glass. “I always have, which was why I never told you about your daughter. And you know I'm usually right. Clara is just. . . more proof. You don't really want to marry Liz or you would never have fallen in love with her.”

“You don't get to decide what's best for me,” he growled.

“Hush now and drink your present,” Missy told him. “Maybe it'll give you the courage to cancel the wedding.”

John did as he was told and sipped his drink, all the while glowering at his sister. But he knew one thing for certain now. Missy would not decide what he was going to do, no matter how hard she tried.

* * *

Clara had stopped crying a while ago and was now leaning against Amy's shoulder, watching the screen through her blurred vision without actually paying a lot of attention to whatever movie her friend had put on. It was well past midnight by now and Clara knew that she had to give Amy the best wedding ever for what she was currently putting her through – after she had recovered from the recent heartbreak, of course. Right now she was more likely to plan a slaughter than a romantic ceremony.

Suddenly her phone vibrated in her pocket and Clara sat up in an instant, drawing it out and looking at the screen to see that John's name had popped up.

“Oh my God,” she uttered and looked at Amy in her panic. “He's calling me. What should I do?”

Amy yawned and only now it dawned on Clara that she had woken her friend. Yep, only the best wedding would do for her. “Answer it?” she suggested.

Clara's hand trembled a little as she moved her finger towards the green icon on her screen. She really shouldn't answer it, she should cut John out of her life and spare herself further pain, but she was too curious to know why he was calling her after midnight and somehow she felt like something bad had happened. She answered the call.

“Yes?” Clara breathed nervously.

“Oh, uhm,” John spluttered and somehow his voice sounded a little off. “I'm sorry. Did I wake you?”

Clara frowned in Amy's direction, but her friend only shrugged in response. His words were slurred. “Are you drunk?” she wanted to know.

“Missy stopped by with an apology. In her case that means Scotch. I'm sorry, I. . . I just wanted to talk to you.”

Her heart was beating so loudly that Clara thought John would be able to hear it on the other end of the line and her stomach turned into a knot. Something wasn't right.

“Okay,” she agreed and sat up properly, finding a comfortable position for what she assumed would be a longer conversation. “It's okay. I'm still up.”

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called so late.”

“Stop apologizing. It's fine,” Clara reassured him. She wished she could be with him right now, not talk over the phone. Something about his voice sounded so beaten and she doubted he wanted to be alone. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Not on the phone. I, uhm, can I come over tomorrow?” he drawled. “There are some things you need to hear and I don't wanna do this over the phone. It's. . . it's a long conversation. I need a clear head for this. Sorry, this isn't exactly my best day.”

John wanted to see her. He wanted to talk to her face to face. Clara really tried to not get her hopes up, but after the way they had parted earlier, she realized that it was a big thing. 

“Sure,” she breathed in reply, a smile spreading across her face even though she was trying to hide it. “Of course. I'll be home all day. Just stop by anytime.”

Clara heard him breathe a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Go to sleep, John,” she told him softly.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Probably a good idea.”

“We'll talk tomorrow.”

“Good night, Clara,” John whispered and he sounded as if he was about to fall asleep on the spot.

“Good night, John,” she said, but he had already hung up.

 

Clara dropped her phone and stared into Amy's sleepy face.

“What did he want?” her friend demanded to know.

“He wants to talk to me,” Clara replied almost absent-mindedly. She had thought she would never see him again. Had John really decided to be with her? Could it be true? “I think it's about us.”

“In a good or bad way?”

Clara sighed, but then she decided to settle for hope. If he had just wanted to apologize for kissing her, he could have done that over the phone. No, this was about something far more important and it could only mean one thing. “I think in a good way.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, thank you so much for your kind comments :) Will I break your heart? Will I give you the long-awaited confession? You'll find out if you read on. . .

The reflection staring back at her through the mirror held no clue that Clara had had a really short night. Her hair was neatly combed and a small amount of makeup covered the dark shadows under her eyes perfectly. Clara was ready for John to show up anytime, so she decided to make herself a cup of tea and wait for him in the company of her favourite novel.

It was shortly before noon when the doorbell finally rang and Clara jumped up from her spot on the sofa to open the door to him.

“Hey,” she greeted him happily, putting on her brightest smile.

John looked downright miserable and unlike her, he hadn't been able to cover up the evidence of his terrible night, yet he still granted her a shy smile. “Hi Clara,” he said. “May I come in?”

“Sure,” she replied. “Do you want coffee? Tea? Aspirin for the hangover?”

“How do you know?” John asked as he followed her into the kitchen, but when Clara again offered to put on the kettle, he declined by shaking his head.

“You called me last night, remember?” she reminded him as she sank down on the chair.

“Vaguely.”

“You said you wanted to talk?” Clara asked him hopefully, but she could read nothing from the pained expression on his face that was a hint at anything but his hangover.

John cleared his throat. “I wanted to apologize. For everything,” he said. “Right now I feel like the worst person on earth because of what I've done and what I want to do and last night I realized that it doesn't matter what I do next, someone is going to get hurt.”

Clara nodded understandingly. “That doesn't make you a bad person. That's just. . . life. It's not always easy.”

“I found out why Missy chose you as my wedding planner,” he explained after a moment.

She frowned at him in response, not really sure why it mattered, but something told her that she was about to find out any second now.

“Missy has never liked Liz and you've met Missy, you know what she's like,” John went on. “She picked you out of every wedding planner because she was trying to sabotage my relationship with Liz.”

“ _What?!_ ” Clara blurted out in disbelief, still not understanding how the two things were connected.

“My sister picked you because she knows me very well. She knew I would fall in love with you.”

His words hung in the air for a long moment and Clara needed time to understand just exactly what he was saying.

“Yes, that's right. I said it,” John scoffed. “I'm in love with you, Clara Oswald.”

There was a knot in her stomach that tightened the longer he spoke and the hopeful feeling she had woken up with this morning was beginning to fade. Clara couldn't really explain why, but she slowly felt the hope she had left slipping away from her.

“I'm in love with you, too,” she admitted because she had no idea what else to say. Maybe it would be enough to change his mind for good.

With a sigh, John sank down on the chair at next to her, but he didn't once look at Clara. The bad feeling inside her stomach grew only worse.

“I've listened to a lot of people tell me what to do. _It's not fair to Liz. It's not right to be with her when you have feelings for someone else. It can't work._ But those people aren't me, Clara,” he explained and finally raised his head to look at her. There was an expression of defeat in his eyes. “I'm not a selfish or demanding person. I just want things to be simple.”

“What does that mean?” she asked even though she knew she was going to hate the answer.

John inhaled deeply and suddenly he reached out to take Clara's hand. He held it so softly in his while he raised it to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

“It means that if the circumstances had been different, if you had come into my life at any other point-” he broke off and stared right into her eyes.

Clara swallowed hard when he realized how sad he looked and it was breaking her heart. John was a good man and he was doing what he thought was the right thing. She couldn't even be mad at him for that.

“I made a promise to Liz,” he told her softly. “I'm not going to break it. I'm not going to play my sister's stupid game. I didn't want any of this to happen in the first place. All I want is to be a good man.”

She nodded and uttered a sound of surprise when suddenly John bent forward and crashed their lips together in a desperate kiss. Clara opened up to him, allowing him to kiss her one last time and it seemed as if he had no intention to ever stop. With every second it lasted, Clara could feel her heart break just a little more and the tears rolled down her cheek while she had no chance to fight them any longer.

“Please don't cry,” John begged her and wiped the tears away with his thumb, but more kept coming when she realized he would never again hold her like this and Clara was missing his touch already. “I don't want you to cry.”

Clara sniffed in response and tried her best to stop, but it just wouldn't work.

“Clara, you're gonna forget me in no time,” John tried to reassure her. “You're young. You shouldn't waste your time with an old man like me anyway.”

That finally did it. Clara softly pushed him away from her before she landed a punch right in his shoulder.

“Ow!”

“Stop putting yourself down!” she said angrily. “You're the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met in my life and Liz better worship the ground you walk on or I'll ruin her big day!”

For a moment the room went absolutely quiet. Then both John and Clara started to laugh at the same time despite knowing that this was their goodbye.

“Oh Clara Oswald,” John sighed. “I don't doubt that for a second.”

“You better not,” she told him.

After a sigh, the smile faded from his lips and John took her hand once again, squeezing it softly.

“I'm sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

John raised his head to look at her. “We can't see each other again, not like this, not to plan the wedding. I just can't take it. When Liz found out about my affair with Patti, I had to promise her that I would never cheat on her. Seeing you-”

“I get it,” Clara replied quietly.

John granted her a soft smile. “The man you're going to marry one day better also worship the ground you walk on. I'm a doctor. I know which spots hurt the most.”

“I'll let him know,” she chuckled.

Without saying anything else, John rose from his seat and placed a soft kiss on Clara's forehead before he turned to leave.

“John,” she said and he stopped in his tracks, his hand already on the door handle. He turned around once more.

“Yes?”

Clara took a deep breath. If she didn't say it now, she might never get the chance. “I wish it could have been me,” she confessed.

John huffed softly. “So do I,” he admitted. “Goodbye, Clara Oswald.”

Then the door closed behind him.

Clara opened her mouth to reply, but then hesitated. She realized it was a crazy superstition, but maybe if she didn't say it, their paths would cross just one more time. Even if it broke her heart, that was what she wanted most.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your heartbroken comments! I'm sorry for breaking your heart like this, but the story isn't over yet. . . so let's see how this will continue!

It had been years since John had last read a proper book, but tonight he somehow felt like it was the only way to take his mind off the wedding. He had tried to ban the thoughts from his mind for the last few weeks, but now, the night before the big day, it seemed almost impossible not to think about it. The longer he stared at the words the less sense they actually made and John was glad when his phone rang and he had an excuse to throw the damn novel aside.

“Yes?”

“Am I interrupting your party?” Liz asked, chuckling. There was music in the background and John could tell that she was probably having a lot of fun at her hen party.

“I told you I'm not having a party,” he replied.

“Every man should have a stag night, John. This is your last night of freedom.”

He sighed. John had never been one to have many friends and even though he was sure that Donna and Missy would love to have a gathering, he just didn't feel like it. It was the night before the wedding and he knew he should be happy, but the look on Clara's face when he had left her still haunted him a month later.

“I might invite Susan over,” John said eventually just to shut his fiancée up. He really wasn't in the mood for a party.

“Good,” Liz concluded. “Cause I took the liberty of sending Donna and Missy to your place. They're already on their way.”

“You did _what_?”

“Last night of freedom, John,” she reminded him sternly. “I want you to use it.”

There was something in her voice that he couldn't quite place, something he couldn't quite understand. Why was she so insistent all of a sudden?

“Liz, I don't need-”

“Anything goes,” Liz told him reluctantly.

He arched his eyebrows up even though she couldn't see it. “Anything goes?”

“Yes,” she said hesitantly. “Do whatever you want to do.”

“I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to tell me here, but I'm hoping this is not a trap?” John asked cautiously because he still didn't know if he was understanding her correctly.

“Please, John, don't make me spell it out,” his fiancée growled. “Just do what you want to do. Anything. I won't ask about it because from tomorrow on it won't matter, okay?”

“Uhm, okay?”

“I love you,” Liz said sincerely.

John sighed. “I love you, too.”

 

When the doorbell rang and he opened the door to his friend and sister, John had the nasty feeling that Donna and Missy hadn't dressed up just to spend the evening at his place and before he knew what was happening, he found himself in the back of a taxi on the way to a _club_.

“What sort of club are you taking me to?” John demanded to know.

Donna laughed. “The only club a man should go to the night before his big day.”

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. “You mean the last place I actually wanna be,” he growled. “At least give me the address so I can text Susan to meet us there. And to bring me a good book because I'll be bored to death. I'm not interested in watching women undress.”

“Don't be silly, brother,” Missy said and patted his shoulder as the taxi stopped in front of a fancy looking establishment. “Every man is interested in watching women undress.”

John had the perfect answer at the tip of his tongue, but he decided not to say it out loud. He didn't want to visit a strip club, he didn't want to sit through an endless wedding ceremony, he just wanted to be left in peace.

Yet despite his efforts to get out of this, he found himself being shoved into the establishment against his will and John hated it already after the first look. It looked like any other strip club he had ever seen on TV, red-pinkish light, scantily dressed women dancing on tables and on the laps of several men. John spotted a small group at the back of the room stuffing money into a girl's knickers and he shook his head.

“Okay, which girl do you like?” Missy demanded to know after they had sat down in a more quiet corner.

“I don't like any of them,” he spat without even looking at them. It just wasn't his style to watch young women dance on his lap in nothing but their underwear, this place wasn't his style and he could think of 100 things he would rather do than this.

“Are you sure?” his sister enquired. “What about that one?”

John looked up to see who Missy was pointing at and he had half a mind to leave already. She was a young girl, barely 20, with shoulder-length, brown hair and a cute nose. He thought that in daylight and normal clothes she was probably very pretty and yes, she somehow resembled Clara.

A part of him wondered what she was up to right now. John hadn't talked to her in over a month and when the temptation had grown too strong, he had even deleted her number from his phone. He wanted to speak to her now more than anything, wanted to know how she was doing, wondered whether she had forgotten him already. One day she would and the thought of it made his heart ache because he had had a chance and he had blown it. John hoped that it would be worth it.

“We're gonna get some drinks. How about you choose a girl in the meantime?” Donna gave him a nudge.

John turned his head and glowered at his best friend. “I don't want a drink. I don't want a girl. I just want to leave.”

“Out of the question,” Missy threw in. “As far as I know, your fiancée gave you a free pass for tonight, you better not waste it.”

“A free pass, huh?”

John looked up and saw that his daughter had arrived at the club. Somehow her presence lifted his spirits just a little, but not enough to actually enjoy this damn club.

“I'll have a Mojito,” his daughter told Donna before she plopped down next to John.

“Scotch,” John growled and watched his sister and friend wander off in the direction of the bar.

The music was terrible, the light was beginning to give him a headache and his mood got worse with every second he was forced to spend at this club.

“Please, help me get out of this,” he said pleadingly, throwing his daughter a desperate look. “You don't really want to watch me get a lap dance from any of those girls here.”

Susan wrinkled her nose. “Gross.”

“I don't wanna be here,” John complained. “I just want this entire weekend to be over. Why is that so hard to understand that I don't want a big fuss?”

To his surprise, Susan reached out and took his hand. She granted him a soft smile. “Is it really just the big fuss you don't want?”

“I made my decision.”

“Yeah, but is it the right one?”

“God, Susan,” John hissed and tore his hand free, “I don't know, okay?! How would I know? It's not like I have a time machine and can just hop into the future and see how it all works out! That's not how this works! Is Liz a safe bet? Yes, absolutely. Will I be happy? I don't know, I'll just have to try! Would I have been happy with Clara? That is something I will never find out now cause I'm never gonna see her again! I have spent the last months wondering what to do and I just don't know, I probably never will, so I made a decision and I'm gonna stick with it now whether you like it or not!”

John was ready to apologize for his outburst the moment the words had come over his lips, but Susan didn't seem affronted by it at all. Instead, she looked as if she understood it.

“Liz gave you a free pass, right?”

“Yes,” he growled. “But I'm not gonna use it on one of these girls. That's really not my cup of tea.”

“And you shouldn't,” his daughter told him with a smirk. “But I bet there's one woman in London who wouldn't mind using it with you.”

John cocked an eyebrow at her. “I promised Liz that I wouldn't cheat on her,” he argued.

“And she gave you a free pass for tonight, so it's not cheating.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but his daughter cut him off before he even had a chance.

“Go to Clara!” Susan told him sternly.

“But-”

“Go to Clara,” she repeated and raised her hand to point at the door. “And do it quickly before Donna and Missy come back.”

John's heart leapt when he considered the possibility. His daughter was right. Liz had given him a free pass and she would never ask about what really happened tonight. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to spend this evening on his own, but he really, really wanted to see Clara right now.

“Go!” Susan said, laughing at him.

John laughed with her and leaned forward, pressing a swift kiss to his daughter's cheek before he jumped up from his seat. “Best daughter award!”

He grabbed his jacket and darted out of the room before anyone could stop him. It was his last night of freedom and he would spend it with Clara.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments, guys :) Oh dear, John is on his way to Clara on the night before his wedding, but how will she react?

Clara had tried to ignore the date that was coming closer, but it was hard to forget it when John's fiancée was constantly texting her, asking whether this or that had been taken care of and the closer they got to Saturday, the more flippant her answers became. However, on Friday night, the messages stopped and for the first time in two weeks, Clara had a small chance to forget that John was going to get married tomorrow.

She hadn't heard from him since the day he had left her even though their relationship hadn't even really started and she had thoroughly cried her eyes out about it, but for now, Clara was done. Even though right now it didn't feel like it, John was probably right. At some point, she would move on and find someone else and he would end up unhappy and bitter because Liz just wasn't the right fit for him. But that wasn't her problem anymore.  
Clara tightened her bathrobe around her waist and made her way towards the sofa to spend the evening with her favourite TV show when suddenly the doorbell rang. She threw a frown towards the door. Who could possibly visit her on a Friday night? Not Amy because she had a date with Rory, so Clara reasoned that it could only be a neighbour who was out of milk or eggs or some other important ingredient. Yet when she opened the door, Clara found a surprise she really hadn't expected.

“John,” she blurted out, gawking at him. “What are you doing here?”

He has his hands buried deep into the pockets of his jacket and granted her a shy smile. “It's my stag night,” he explained quietly.

“Exactly!” Clara frowned at him. “So what are you doing here? Why aren't you at a party or a strip club or-”

“Been there,” he replied with a sigh. “Donna and Missy dragged me to one. I fled.”

“You fled your own stag night?” she asked in disbelief.

John let his shoulders sink and for a moment Clara thought he looked thoroughly lost. “I want to spend the evening with you,” he confessed. “I was going mad at home and I hated the strip club because that's really not what I'm into. Liz gave me a free pass for tonight, but there's only one place I wanna be. That's here.”

Clara's jaw dropped and she needed a moment to understand just what he was saying. “Hang on, your fiancée gave you permission and you wanna sleep with me?!”

Now John looked shocked more than anything and he spluttered for a moment before he finally managed to get the words out. “Uhm, that's not. . . not what I was trying to say,” he replied.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “What were you trying to say then?”

John exhaled sharply. “I just want to spend the evening with you, that's all.”

“So you don't want to sleep with me?” she asked, arching her eyebrows at him.

The despair was now visible on his face as he was trying to find the right words and Clara couldn't hold it back any longer, she just started to laugh. There was something so sweet and innocent about him that Clara couldn't even be mad at him. “Oh, come inside,” she told him with a waving gesture.

 

Clara walked into the kitchen with John following her on her heels and she switched on the kettle to prepare them both a cup of tea. He discarded his jacket on the chair, but never said a word and Clara watched him for a moment, considering her options.

He hadn't changed his mind. John was still going to marry Liz, but he was here because it was his last chance to be with her in whatever way. Clara needed a moment to think.

“So, do you want to or not?” she asked him reluctantly.

John's head shot up and he looked at her for a moment. “Want what?”

She swallowed hard, gathering up the courage to say it out loud. “To sleep with me?”

“I, uhm.” He paused for a long moment, then sighed. “Yes. But I mainly want to be here.”

Clara stared at him in response and the thoughts in her head went haywire. No matter what happened tonight, John was going to get married in the morning, but this was the moment she had been waiting for since she had seen him at the bar. Clara had never meant to fall in love with him, she had never meant for things to get complicated, but right now, just for one night, it could be that simple. This was their only chance.

“Okay,” Clara said after a while.

John frowned at her. “Okay?”

She nodded. “If you're sure that's what you want, then let's do it,” she replied nervously and then cracked a smile. “Because I want to.”

Even though he still looked nervous, John's face turned into a smile. “I'm sure,” he said softly.

 

Even though he had reassured her that this time he was certain, Clara took John by the hand and led him towards the bedroom. She felt him tremble a little and if Clara was completely honest, she was probably just as nervous as he was feeling right now. When the door fell shut behind them, they remained standing in the centre of the room for a moment, just looking at each only until John eventually broke the ice with a smile.

“We don't have to,” she whispered, her almost inaudible. “I mean, only if you wa-.”

“I want to,” he confirmed, sounding a little out of breath, and before Clara knew what was happening, John stepped forward and cupped her face in his hands.

He bent down, kissing her desperately, and once again Clara felt like crying. She hadn't seen him in over a month, not since the day they had confessed their feelings to each other and she had missed him every single day. Maybe it was another one of their bad ideas, maybe sleeping together would make everything worse, but Clara knew she was going to regret it either way. She might as well regret something amazing.

They broke apart when the need for air grew too strong, but still, Clara couldn't help but giggle. There was no doubt in John's expression this time and her heart skipped a beat when she realized it was finally happening.

“Off with those clothes,” she told him, chuckling.

John smiled in reply. “Eager, are we?”

She shrugged. “We only have this one night, so we better use it.”

“Right,” John agreed and Clara let out a squeal when he grabbed her by the waist and they fell down on her bed together, laughing and giggling like schoolchildren.

It didn't take him long before John pulled her down to lie on top of him. He had stopped laughing, but the smile remained on his face while he looked at her, studied her face as if he was trying to memorize every little detail.

“I love you,” he whispered softly.

Clara swallowed as the words tugged at her heart, but she wouldn't allow the hopelessness of their relationship to interfere with this evening. Not tonight. Not even for a second. “I love you, too,” she replied.

 

They both hurried to strip out of their clothes. Clara didn't want anything to separate her from John while he kissed her again. Everything about him felt magical. His kisses, his touch, the way his naked skin felt on her own and Clara couldn't wait to find out what it would feel like to have him inside of her at last. 

She reached down between them, finding him half hard and already heavy in her hand. The thought of him plunging into caused a tingling feeling between her legs as she gave him a couple of light strokes and John moaned into her mouth at her touch. Just for the hell of it, she squeezed him a little harder.

“Mhpf,” John uttered and broke the kiss, panting heavily. “Easy there.”

Clara chuckled. “My bed, my rules.”

“Bossy,” he said in a strangled voice and lowered his mouth back to her skin, but this time he didn't meet her lips. Instead, John started to nibble at her throat and as if by coincidence, he found her most sensitive spot immediately. 

Clara sucked in her breath and let go of him at last when his wand wandered between her thighs, teasing her, and she suddenly found it impossible to focus on anything but what he was doing to her. She gasped when he slipped a finger between her wet folds and parted his legs for him. He was teasing and Clara wanted more than just that.

“John,” she whimpered when he sucked her throat hard enough to leave a mark and the sensation of fingers rubbing gently against her clit was becoming too much to bear. Her need for him was growing stronger by the second. “Please.”

John looked up and smiled at her before he bent down and left another kiss on her lips. When he withdrew his hand, the absence felt almost like a burning ache, but he took a moment to just smile at her.

“I've thought about this every single day for the past two months,” he confessed.

Clara swallowed hard and she knew that she would most definitely spend the following two months thinking about this. “Me too,” she breathed.

In a sudden movement, John flipped them both over so she landed on top of him and Clara thought she had never seen him so happy, so relaxed as he looked right now as she bent down and kissed him again. Then she reached between them once more, took him in her hand and position him right at her entrance.

She gasped when she sank down on him and underneath her, John uttered a strangled sound while his head sank deeper into the pillow and Clara knew she had been right from the start. They were made for each other. The way he felt inside her, the feeling of his touch on her skin, the soft, brief kisses they exchanged in between – it was like nothing Clara had ever felt before. John moaned as she sped up her pace, desperate to have him take her just a little harder, but he slowed her down again when he turned them over in bed, pushing her into the sheets and taking her from a whole new angle. Clara clawed at his hair, at his back and she didn't care that she was leaving marks because she found it impossible to hold back when he plunged deeper into her, hitting that spot that made her cry out in earnest when her desire for him was taking over. It seemed to last an eternity, but she could tell from the way John panted into her ear that he was drawing closer to the finish line. A moan escaped from the back of his throat when his thrusts came a little harder and faster and Clara arched her back up to meet him and every single time he brought her a little closer to the edge.

“John,” she keened, trying to tell him how close she was, yet all he did was press a breathless kiss to her lips while he buried himself deeper inside of her.

Clara broke the kiss and gasped for air when the feeling of him grew too much to bear and her orgasm came over her like a storm surge. John uttered a long, deep groan and he remained inside of her for a moment, but his movements ceased and Clara could feel him spill himself inside of her. Then John collapsed in bed next to her and for a long while the only sound that could be heard was their breathing and rapid heartbeat.

 

Eventually, after a few minutes had passed, Clara felt John reach for her hand and she turned her head to smile at him. John chuckled in return before he leaned forward and kissed her again as if they hadn't exchanged enough kisses tonight to last a lifetime. Yet his features soon grew serious again and Clara could feel that their moment of happiness was about to come to an end.

“Clara, you're the most amazing woman I've ever met,” he said after a while, but there was a hint of sadness in his voice as well.

“Don't say it,” she whispered in reply.

“I don't even deserve you.”

To shut him up, Clara reached for his face and pulled him closer to meet her lips, but this time John didn't yield to her kiss. Gently, he pushed her away.

“I have a favour to ask you,” he said instead.

Clara cocked her eyebrows at him.

“Come to Wilton's tomorrow,” John said.

“No,” Clara replied instantly, her voice harsh. That was the last thing she would ever do. She was not going to attend the wedding and watch John marry another woman. There was no way she would find herself at Wilton's tomorrow.

“Please,” John almost begged her. “Just meet me there.”

“No,” she repeated determinedly and sat up in bed. Her hand reached for the covers that she pulled up over her chest. “No way, John. I'm not coming to your wedding! Why would you even ask that of me?!”

John inhaled sharply and right now he looked just as lost as he had when he had arrived at her place tonight, but no puppy dog eyes would change her mind about this.

“I love you,” John said desperately.

In response, Clara raised her hand and pointed towards the door. “I think you should leave.”

“Please, I need to see you-”

“Out!” Clara shouted and it seemed as if John had finally given up his attempts to make her attend his wedding.

Without saying another word, John rose from the bed and slowly started to put his clothes back on. She watched from a safe distance, the sheets still pulled up to her chin, and when John threw her another pleading look, Clara once again nodded towards the door.  
When John walked out of her flat, Clara was certain that this was definitely the last she would ever see of him.


	44. Chapter 44

“I can't believe he asked me to come to his wedding after everything that happened between us!” Clara shouted into the phone. She was still mad about this the next morning and even though she had vowed to herself that she would stop bothering her best friend with this, Clara just hadn't known another way than to call Amy.

“And he asked that after you've slept with each other?”

“Yes!”

“Wow,” Amy uttered. “That's. . . I don't even know what it is, but it's not something any normal person would do.”

“Exactly!” Clara agreed angrily. She was so mad at him right now that she almost felt like showing up there out of spite just to show him she wasn't bothered. Then her voice softened a little. “I mean, we parted on good terms before yesterday. And we both knew what we were getting into. I can even understand a little why he's choosing Liz and he's a sweet guy. I doubt he meant to hurt me.”

“He's an idiot,” her friend told her.

 _But a nice one_ , Clara added in her thoughts. What was the worst that could happen if she went? Clara wouldn't have to attend the ceremony, she could just go to the party afterwards, listen to some music, eat some delicious food. She had planned it all and it seemed like the reasonable thing to do to just hang out there for a bit. If it hadn't been for her one night stand with John.

“You're not really calling just to bitch about it, am I right?” Amy enquired after a moment.

Clara hesitated, knowing how crazy she must sound to her friend. “What if I went?”

“Uhm, you'd regret it and hate every second of it?”

“Yeah, but apart from that?”

“You'd get drunk and cause a scene, publicly confess your love for John and embarrass both of you?”

“No, that's something _you_ 'd do,” Clara replied dryly. “I just don't understand why he asked me. I mean, he must have had a good reason to and-”

“And you love him and don't want to disappoint him. I get it, Clara,” her friend replied and her voice was dripping with annoyance. “But think about yourself for a moment. Do you really want to do this to yourself?”

“Well, it's just for an hour or two,” she reasoned. “And it's not like it could get much worse for me anyway.”

Amy groaned on the other end of the line. “Why do you even ask me for advice when you've made up your mind already?”

“I hadn't,” Clara replied meekly and bit down on her lip. “It's just that while you were trying to talk me out of it, the bad side of my brain successfully talked me into it.”

Her friend chuckled. “Fine then,” she said. “Go to the wedding, eat the most expensive food and ask the DJ to play a couple of really bad songs.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Clara agreed. “Call you after?”

“Definitely. I want to hear if you've poisoned the champagne.”

“Alright.” She sighed heavily. “Thank you for being the _best_ best friend ever. And I owe you an amazing wedding.”

“You definitely do,” Amy replied and hung up.

Clara placed the phone aside and glanced at her watch. It was 10 am and right now John was probably saying yes. No, she would wait a couple more hours and spare herself the ceremony and the speech about how much John loved his new wife.

* * *

The sun was already setting when Clara arrived at Wilton's Music Hall in one of her best dresses. She had made a real effort to look nice even though, on the inside, she felt almost dead. In her head, Clara kept wondering why on earth John had asked her here and she doubted that it was to make her suffer even more, but she also knew that there was only one way to find out.

She was surprised when she stopped in front of the venue and noticed that it was awfully quiet for a big party, so she stepped inside to see what the matter was. The place was empty.

Something tucked at her heart as Clara wandered deeper into the building and a nasty feeling was rising up inside her stomach. There was no party here. No music. No chatter. The place was as quiet as a mausoleum. Immediately, Clara thought that something bad must have happened. Maybe John had had an accident or something had happened to Liz, but when she finally stepped inside the hall, Clara uttered a sigh of relief.

John was sitting on the stage, a tie loosely wrapped around his suit while his head was bowed, staring at a beer bottle in his hands. Her steps had obviously given her away because as she stepped closer, John raised his head.

“What happened?” she wanted to know when she came to a halt next to him.

John took a moment to reply, but eventually, a light smile appeared on his face. “You.”

Clara frowned at him in response and when John padded the spot next to him, she hopped up onto the stage and settled down beside him. He turned his head and the smile on his face widened, but there was still a hint of sadness in his expression.

“I cancelled the wedding,” John admitted.

Clara's heart skipped a beat when she heard him say these words, when she realized what it meant. John had left Liz to be with her. He had made the decision last night, that was why he had invited her here and John had waited here all day, hoping for Clara to show up. Yet she knew that it hadn't been easy for him and all of a sudden she felt sorry that she had been the one to cause him so much pain over the last few months. She vowed to make it all up to him from now on.

“I'm sorry,” she said softly. “I know it wasn't easy for you. How did she take it?”

John uttered a long sigh and averted his eyes, staring at a spot at the other end of the room. “I don't really wanna talk about that now. I don't even wanna think about it.”

Clara leaned her head against his shoulder and reached out to take his hand. In return, he turned his head and left a soft kiss on her hair. Then John suddenly scoffed.

“I guess my sister's plan worked after all.”

She smiled to herself. “Well, you said she knows you very well. Maybe she really just wanted what's best for you.”

John craned his neck and looked at her before he started to chuckle. “Don't ever tell Missy she's right about something or she'll never shut up about it.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” she reassured him.

“I'm sorry, too,” John said after a moment. “You really did a great job planning this wedding. It's a shame it'll go to waste just because I couldn't make up my mind a little earlier.”

“Uhm, does it have to?” Clara asked him. “I mean, what if you invited Susan and Donna and maybe Missy if you feel like it? Have a nice dinner? Listen to music? I know, most of it will get thrown out in the end, but it at least it won't be for nothing.”

John looked at her with mild curiosity. “Will you stay, too?” he asked hopefully. “You could call your friend and invite her here.”

In response, Clara leaned forward and brought their lips together in a short, soft kiss. They were both smiling when she pulled away. “You're not gonna get rid of me ever again.”

There was a look of relief on his face before John closed his arms around her and pulled her against his chest for a hug. Clara sank against his body and just enjoyed it for a moment even though she knew that there were many more hugs and kisses in their future. But for now, they both just really needed a moment of comfort after those turbulent few months and Clara couldn't wait for it all to calm down so she could be with John at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let me give all of you a big, fat cyber hug! Thank you guys so, so, so much for your amazing support, for reading this fic, leaving kudos and especially all your comments. I know that it's been over almost two years since Whouffaldi went off-air and the hype has died down a bit, but it makes me so happy that so many of you still read and love my Whouffaldi fics - which is the reason I have no intention to stop writing them anytime soon. Seriously, your comments always brighten my day, even if it's to complain that I've broken your heart. Well, I hope I managed to fix them all with this last chapter :) Thank you so much for your love and support!
> 
> I will start posting my new fic "The Moon & The President's Daughter" on Saturday to give all of you the chance to catch up with this one before running straight into the next and, oh God, I am beyond excited to share the next fic with you. I'm currently on holiday and had the time to write a few chapters ahead and I am seriously having so much fun developing the plot and the characters that I can't wait for you to read it, hoping you'll enjoy the read as much as I'm already enjoying writing it. See you Saturday!


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